Hello ladies and gents

I'm now 4 1/2 months into hormones and have over the past month been out in public (I.e shopping, exercising, socializing with friends) in mid to full female attire a few times and it has been great. I've been passing without any issues so far but I don't feel yet is the time to truly take the plunge and go out full 100%, I feel It's still abit early. I'm waiting for hrt to further along and I've legally changed my name and gender (Can gender be changed legally before srs?) before truly living full time. I defiantly want to early-mid 2014 though.

However there remains one issue and that is family. Normally I wouldn't care but they do hold power over me as I am living with them because it is honestly the best option for me financially saving up for future surgeries and electrolysis. They still view me as a male trying to be a female (or that this is all a phase), calling me by my birth name, son, brother and using male pronouns and if they knew I was planning on changing my name legally and going full time next year they would go ballistic. Eventually they would say I need to see more therapists because I'm clearly not thinking straight. Now the thing is I want to try holding a good repore with them because as long as I'm under their roof I've got a good steady income flow so the financial side of transition isn't a problem. I mean I'll prob have saved up for my SRS by late next year with how things are going.

So basically it comes down to keep things in house for longer (which also means longer to wait for SRS) and keep my steady saving process or go full time earlier and risk getting chucked out and have saving up made a lot more difficult.

If you're still in the middle of electrolysis, depending on how much still needs to be dealt with, it might be better to hold off anyway. Going full time and dealing with facial fuzz can get very tricky for some. It's a shame your folks can't accept you for who you are. All the best whatever you decide!

Quote from: Paige0000 on October 20, 2013, 04:06:12 AM
So basically it comes down to keep things in house for longer (which also means longer to wait for SRS) and keep my steady saving process or go full time earlier and risk getting chucked out and have saving up made a lot more difficult.

Hey

If I had to choose between those two options then I would stay at home and save. Though you may have to make some sacrifices with expressing your identity in the short-term I think it will pay off long-term. You can also use this time to talk to your family about your concerns to ease them into the changes that are to come. Sometimes families also need to "transition".

This is totally unrelated but you look lovely! Good luck with everything.

I have to agree that holding off for as long as you can, saving every $$$ in the process that you can is the best way to go. You can never have too much saved up when dealing with a ton of unknowns. (BTW - you are concerned about parents; What about the job?)

There is a chance a common plight for part-timers will come into play with your plans. THat is dealing with the emotional toll from switching back and forth. Besides myself, a couple of others in my group have gone through the emotional pain. For them it became the "It's Time" driver, not their arbitrary schedule.

You will go full time when you can stop living your life for others. Until that time i would stay in the confort of your current life. This whole transition thing is not a race or a schedule (well the schedule part comes after SRS with dilations).

Izzy

I agree with everyone else - by staying put now you are actually going to speed up your transition later on because the financial element will be handled. As a (broke) late transitioner I can say that as you get older it gets harder to transition - finances are a huge part of that for me.

I would advise waiting too. Being more financially secure and in control of your own fate helps. Also, as noted, getting rid of the facial hair is huge. That's my main drawback now - getting this facial hair disposed of.

As for legal documentation, it varies state by state. Most states do not amend birth certificates until after SRS though a few do before. Almost all states will allow you to get your driver's license in your new name and gender, though in some states it may pay to hire a lawyer to navigate the system. Texas is like that so I'm going to use a lawyer so I don't have to do appeals, etc.

Finally, both Social Security and your passport can be changed much more easily. Below is the link for passport gender changes. I don't currently have a link for Social Security but have been told it's pretty easy now too.

http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/first/first_5100.html