First off, I apologize if this is the wrong forum to do this in. I have recently started on estrogen at a very low dose. I have also recently met the most amazing person that I may want to spend my life with... but I am now a tad worried that the estrogen will completely kill my sex drive. I have no interest in penetrating, and they're okay with this... but if I continue on estrogen (I plan to be non-op for the forseeable future), will I still be able to orgasm? Will I still have a sex drive at all? Is (again forgive me) anal an option? I just want to be able to ensure happiness in all facets while still going for my life long dream.

Depending on your personal reaction to E you may lose he ability to gain or maintain an erection. You may not produce sperm. Usually after about 6 months or so you could well be sterile.  If you want to 'father' children at some time, you may wish to freeze sperm down pre HRT.

The ability to get an erection seems to vary a lot between individuals.

Do you lose your sex drive? I'm FT and a couple of years in and have a healthy and very enjoyable sex life. I orgasm and it feels extremely pleasant!

Remember the largest sex organ is the one between your ears, not between your legs!

No children for me, that is something I've known for a long time. And if I did change my mind, I believe in adoption before creating new life anyways. The loss of erection is of no real concern to me really, as long as there are alternatives! Actually giving penetrative sex has been one of my biggest turns offs for as long as I can remember.

Same here, I gave up many years ago. I'm into men and I'm pre op, the guy I'm with is very understanding and we just had to explore ways of keeping us happy. He is straight but very open minded and understanding and we have fertile imaginations

Yeah ... this is similar to a question I have been thinking about asking but have been unsure of how to word it. I have heard that HRT can cause you to lose your ability to have an erection. That's ok. I can live with that, and my wife's ok with it as well. But ... I just wonder ... what is sex like without an erection? How does ... Well, ... how does that work, I guess is my question.

Quote from: Firecat on August 20, 2013, 01:47:04 AM
I am now a tad worried that the estrogen will completely kill my sex drive. I have no interest in penetrating, and they're okay with this... but if I continue on estrogen (I plan to be non-op for the forseeable future), will I still be able to orgasm? Will I still have a sex drive at all?

Spiro has dropped my T to nearly undetectable levels. I very rarely experience spontaneous physical arousal unless I think sexy thoughts. So in that way, I have basically no libido.

But I have a VERY STRONG sex drive. I can get myself very aroused if I think sexy enough thoughts. I make a point to do it at least once a week (not that I need much encouragement. Female climaxes are amazing.)

But it's different than the testosterone sex drive. I can't climax just by physical stimulation. I need to bring myself to that place mentally.

Also, the climax is more of an event. I have a glow for days after.

So I guess, bottom line is that sex drive will change to the point of near unrecognizability, but it's not going anywhere.

YMMV, of course, but this is my experience. Hope it helps.

Very much agree with Suzi. Without embarrassing myself too much. I avoid having an orgasm in the morning romp. If I do I really don't get much work done!

Sorry if TMI!

I know that people say it'll kill your sex drive..

But it did the exact opposite for me.. I mean it's different.. But for once in my life I actually want sex lol

As the ticker below shows, I've been on hormones a little over 2 years.. And I still have a sex drive, oh boy do I. It is a lot different to what it used to be though. Like Suzi, I no longer get spontaneous erections, but if I want one, it happens - but not always.

My last GF (my first real sexual partner since I came out) and I did quite a bit of experimenting in order to find out what worked for both of us. I didn't have any real interest in penetrating her, so when it happened by accident once, it came as a shock to discover that in that situation, I was OK with it - it even felt good. We also learnt that I don't need to have an erection for sex to be fun.. If I'm aroused, my penis is still sensitive.

And as for orgasms? Well, I seem to have 2 types now.. The 'old school' type, which is all over in the blink of an eye.. And something new for me, the toe curling, sheet grabbing, whole body deal that I can do over and over.. My GF said that what I described to her was similar to what she experienced..

Quote from: Kelly the Post-Trans-Rebel on August 30, 2013, 06:08:37 PM
As the ticker below shows, I've been on hormones a little over 2 years.. And I still have a sex drive, oh boy do I. It is a lot different to what it used to be though. Like Suzi, I no longer get spontaneous erections, but if I want one, it happens - but not always.

My last GF (my first real sexual partner since I came out) and I did quite a bit of experimenting in order to find out what worked for both of us. I didn't have any real interest in penetrating her, so when it happened by accident once, it came as a shock to discover that in that situation, I was OK with it - it even felt good. We also learnt that I don't need to have an erection for sex to be fun.. If I'm aroused, my penis is still sensitive.

And as for orgasms? Well, I seem to have 2 types now.. The 'old school' type, which is all over in the blink of an eye.. And something new for me, the toe curling, sheet grabbing, whole body deal that I can do over and over.. My GF said that what I described to her was similar to what she experienced..

That actually all makes me feel quite a bit better as far as sexuality! It's also nice to hear from someone who's non op that's been with another woman after being on HRT as well. I know it was asking questions of a personal nature. But thank you. It's been a real help in alleviating some anxiety I had in that department.

Quote from: Genzen on October 06, 2013, 02:13:20 AM
I think this is a great question! I'm MTF and my girlfriend loves to be penetrated, she is worried that if I start HRT that I'll loose the ability.

There are always toys and strap-ons to fall back on.

I am M2F and live with my boyfriend, in the beginning we would vary who was 'on top' but that faded away pretty quickly as we discovered that we both MUCH preferred for me to be on the receiving end, as time went by I realised that I did not EVER want to penetrate another person again, in fact the idea makes me lose what arousal I have very quickly. SO I kept a strap-on in reserve, in case he ever felt the need to be on the receiving end, you know what? In 6 years we have never once used it!

I'm glad the OP asked this question. I'm ok with losing my ability to perform, but I don't want a huge gap between that time and if I ever decide to go with SRS. Thanks for the help ladies!

As women, we learn that there's more to sex than just the ol' in-out-in-out.

OMG yes, there's more...

I've got zero libido but I'm fine with that. And I think the anti depressant did it well before the Spiro got a chance!

Interesting..."libido" can be misread as "dildo"...