I think I touched on this in another thread, but it is a separate topic. I hate men, I don't know if it's entirely because I don't want to be one, but I can't stand talking to or being around any of them. I can't really relate to them, unless it is on something very specific we have in common, and really have trouble having conversations with them. Because of this, I get labeled as shy or introverted, but I have no problem talking with women, either alone or in groups. I do also have problems with mixed groups, as I seem to revert to not being able to have conversations when men are in the room. Am I the only one like this? I actually have a hard time understanding how quite a lot of transwomen date men, I don't even want to be friends with one.

I can't date men and can't stand being one. I can't paint all men with the same brush. Some of them I can't stand. Ut its more to do with character than gender related

I never felt like a man, and hated trying to be one.  However, I have no problems being around other guys.  I grew up with an older brother, so being around other guys is something I'm used to.  Also, being around other guys usually makes me feel more feminine because guys (most of the time), treat girls differently than they do other men.

I suppose I'm a little different because I love being with, and dating guys.  I tried dating girls when I was a teenager and hated it so much I didn't date anyone for over a decade until I transitioned and felt comfortable with myself. 

I don't hate men, I'm just supremely indifferent to most of them.

Quote from: VeronicaLynn on October 21, 2013, 08:00:19 PM
I think I touched on this in another thread, but it is a separate topic. I hate men, I don't know if it's entirely because I don't want to be one, but I can't stand talking to or being around any of them. I can't really relate to them, unless it is on something very specific we have in common, and really have trouble having conversations with them. Because of this, I get labeled as shy or introverted, but I have no problem talking with women, either alone or in groups. I do also have problems with mixed groups, as I seem to revert to not being able to have conversations when men are in the room. Am I the only one like this? I actually have a hard time understanding how quite a lot of transwomen date men, I don't even want to be friends with one.

Firstly... I apologise in advance for trying to get inside your head. I just can't help myself sometimes. *blushes*

However, I'm a pretty firm believer in the idea that people usually have a reason for the way they feel, even if it's not immediately apparent. And based on your post I have to wonder if you hate men themselves, or more what they represent to you. Whether some of it isn't a projection of things you don't like about the circumstances you have to deal with in your own life which causes you to naturally want to distance yourself from what you see as the embodiment of that. And being put in encounters with this embodiment reminds you of things you can't identify with. Things which draw your attention inwards and perhaps some deep-seated resentment towards facing an aspect of yourself that you wish wasn't there. In essence, whether your hatred towards men is more the hatred towards the projected personification of everything you want to get away from. A sort of universal composite of everything you dislike about yourself which is applied to all the men you meet, regardless of how they are as individuals.

Tied in with that, perhaps a primal fear that communicating with men will mean you have to act like one, in order to fit in. And your mind has developed a sort of buffer zone, to keep you away from the way you feel you may be expected to be. To be someone you're not. And this has taken the form of a strong emotional response which keeps you as far away from those situations as possible.

...

Again, I'm sorry for the above... I just find it intriguing how it's possible to dislike an entire group of people based solely on their gender. I've met some pretty amazing guys. A heck of a lot more since coming here, truth be told. But what made them amazing was who they were as people, not their gender. Granted, for me it definitely took getting over some of what I've mentioned above in order to do it. But I do think it's possible when you get to a point where, rather than hating the idea of trying to be a man, you come to an acceptance that you're simply not one. If you can reach a point where you can see yourself for who you are, rather than who you are not... it makes interacting with everyone somewhat easier and emotional responses tend to be based more on the people as individuals, rather than aspects of ourselves we do or don't recognise.

At least that's been my experience.

I used to hate women so vehemently it worried me sometimes. Then I realized that hating an entire gender because of how much I hated a few people who were part of that gender (including myself) was ignorant, hateful, and plain disgusting. I hope you do not let hate take over your life the same way so many other people do, it does nothing to make you or anyone else a happier person.

I used to hate women, and then I realized that women aren't a monolithic group that have, well... anything in common aside from being called women. Guys are the same way. Name one trait that you find in them that you hate, and there's probably a half billion of them out there that want as much to do with that trait as you do.

I also used to idolize men and masculinity... until I started hanging around them more. Now I loathe being in any single-gender group. It turns into an echo chamber that makes me very uncomfortable. Men are different in that normative masculinity makes it so that most of them express camaraderie with subtle forms of violence. Dominance games, nasty nicknames, talking lewdly about women's bodies (that can and sometimes does lead to action). If I dislike men for any reason, it's normative masculinity. But a lot of men hate it too.

Quote from: ttim0324 on October 21, 2013, 09:34:21 PM
I used to hate women so vehemently it worried me sometimes. Then I realized that hating an entire gender because of how much I hated a few people who were part of that gender (including myself) was ignorant, hateful, and plain disgusting. I hope you do not let hate take over your life the same way so many other people do, it does nothing to make you or anyone else a happier person.

It does bother me that I hate roughly 50% of the population. What is a healthier feeling though, do I have to actually like them? I don't see that happening. Or is indifference healthy enough?

Quote from: VeronicaLynn on October 21, 2013, 11:24:32 PM
It does bother me that I hate roughly 50% of the population. What is a healthier feeling though, do I have to actually like them? I don't see that happening. Or is indifference healthy enough?

I'd say not judging based on something that is not within someone's control would be the only right thing to do.

Quote from: VeronicaLynn on October 21, 2013, 11:24:32 PM
It does bother me that I hate roughly 50% of the population. What is a healthier feeling though, do I have to actually like them? I don't see that happening. Or is indifference healthy enough?

Indifference is certainly healthier than hatred, it's impossible to like every single person you meet. It's hating them for something as simple as their gender and the sterotypes associated with it (sexism is the same as racism in that sense) is wrong. Are you willing to try and live a more positive life? Do you want to get rid of this bigotted feeling you have? Maybe some deep introspective thinking would do you best. It's all about finding the root of the problem. There's enough hate in the world, no need to add onto it.

Quote from: VeronicaLynn on October 21, 2013, 08:00:19 PM
I think I touched on this in another thread, but it is a separate topic. I hate men, I don't know if it's entirely because I don't want to be one, but I can't stand talking to or being around any of them. I can't really relate to them, unless it is on something very specific we have in common, and really have trouble having conversations with them. Because of this, I get labeled as shy or introverted, but I have no problem talking with women, either alone or in groups. I do also have problems with mixed groups, as I seem to revert to not being able to have conversations when men are in the room. Am I the only one like this? I actually have a hard time understanding how quite a lot of transwomen date men, I don't even want to be friends with one.

lol I actually have a hard time understanding how a transwoman can date and marry women. But really we don't choose who we are attracted too. Believe it or not I used to hate men too when I was a teenager then I realize it wasn't men I was hating. It was myself I hated for being attracted to them I tried to like women but no matter how hard I tried it just didn't feel right so I took it out on men. Hate is never a good thing and I think you should explore these feelings more to find the root of your problem with men. 

I generally don't like the company of men but I have some absolutely wonderful male friends, they're kind, funny, compassionate, vulnerable, open minded men and I feel privileged to know them. I generally prefer the company of women but I also know some terrible women that I can't stand to be in the same room as... bitter, hateful, mean nasty harpies! I try to not make it about gender, more about the behaviour and the person themselves. Hating an entire gender could cut you off from some truly decent people.

I think that which I hate, is too fixated on the why I hate.

I hate men, look what they have done to the world for a few thousand years. Religion and culture and it always seems to place women in such misogynist conditions.

Adults, basically about the same thing here. I don't hate young boys for instance, a 15 year old is more likely to be a brat to me than an misogynist. It takes a lot of years of experience to be a real swine. And so much of the world of today, it's thanks to people older than 30.

I wish the world was A. run by equal numbers of male and female and B. persons older than 30 were unable to hold political office.

It explains most of my attitude.

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on October 22, 2013, 08:58:54 AM
I hate men, look what they have done to the world for a few thousand years. Religion and culture and it always seems to place women in such misogynist conditions.

Adults, basically about the same thing here. I don't hate young boys for instance, a 15 year old is more likely to be a brat to me than an misogynist. It takes a lot of years of experience to be a real swine. And so much of the world of today, it's thanks to people older than 30.

Thanks for bringing up age. I don't hate boys either. I didn't hate teenage boys when I was a teenager, and did have male friends. I didn't hate being a teenage boy either, I was actually quite happy being a long haired, slightly androgynous teenage boy.

Somehow, this type of persona is far less acceptable after age 30 or so in this stupid society. What is cool when one is 15 somehow is viewed as a loser at 30+.

Quote from: Sephirah on October 21, 2013, 09:16:24 PM
In essence, whether your hatred towards men is more the hatred towards the projected personification of everything you want to get away from.

Men: "old me" had deep, blood boiling kind of hatred towards men because of that reason
Woman: "old me" was deeply jealous of woman, causing me to hate woman too
Dogs: "old me" never hated dogs 

Now I only hate stupid people when they are being meanies. 

Quote from: VeronicaLynn on October 22, 2013, 02:31:31 PM
Thanks for bringing up age. I don't hate boys either. I didn't hate teenage boys when I was a teenager, and did have male friends. I didn't hate being a teenage boy either, I was actually quite happy being a long haired, slightly androgynous teenage boy.

Somehow, this type of persona is far less acceptable after age 30 or so in this stupid society. What is cool when one is 15 somehow is viewed as a loser at 30+.

Yah it can be annoying trying to be young at heart in a world that seems to think you need to "grow up". My question being, why? what did growing up get you of lasting value? I was less hateful in my youth.

I was filled to the brim with hate as a tween and teen. Those were not golden years by any stretch of the imagination. Every new gray hair I get gives me a great big smile... I can't wait to get old. People will leave me alone, stop catcalling me; I'll get to be less intensely gendered by the people around me than I am now because I'm young and fecund or whatever. It'll be awesome.

Lo is a very silly person

I AM old, and I have found nothing thrilling about things refusing to work like they did, or everything taking longer because I can't move faster

As for leaving you alone...... I find too many older persons to be miserable old buggers.  Well I am speaking mainly of the bloody old men I have foolishly subjected myself to too often in the past I guess.

Never go on a forum that is mainly male, and engage in any form of political discussion. Trust me on this one. All you end up with is a hope the whole world just goes down the drain sooner than later.

I find the discussions I get on anime based forums are often a lot more 'unique'. It's amazing what the young think some times of course, and often they say the most inexplicably naive things. But they are rarely miserable mean spirited angry hostile people.

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on October 23, 2013, 04:36:33 AM
Yah it can be annoying trying to be young at heart in a world that seems to think you need to "grow up". My question being, why? what did growing up get you of lasting value? I was less hateful in my youth.

Mainly being able to get a job that pays enough to have my own apartment. Not that I actually want to work, I do wish I were retired, just not old. I feel like I am always pressured to cut my hair short and act masculine every time I need to find a new job. Why can't we just build robots to do all jobs and get rid of this employment based economy?