My soon to be ex-wife.

Watched the wedding proposal on Glee.
Realized that I want what she got... and may never get it.

effing... realizing now (not for the first time) that I've never even gotten so much as a 

Sometimes I just feel like I've missed out on so very much.

In the process of realizing, again, how insensitive my mother is. *Sigh* This will have to be made better...

Lost my GBA so I can't play Moogoo Monkey

Dealing with suicidal thoughts while also trying not to throw up and trying not to black out because of my migraine all while having to go on the same as every other day.

A friend of mine spends all this time telling me about her period and sex and all these other things that I'm excluded from, even though she says it to me like "Guess what girlfriend" it still leaves me feeling left out.

Umm, yeah, it would be nice if my roommate kept the door unlocked while he's in the room so I could get in.
Time to find a comfy chair to not sleep in.

Just been asked if I am a transvenstite on a dating site.

I removed the insults from my last reply, but it sounded like

"I'm a woman. Go to another place to insult people".


I keep calling myself "An ugly, humongous ->-bleeped-<-", but I don't take it well from strangers.



I'm in a really bad mood now. I was not prepared for this. I just want my face to change it and in a year book my FFS.

Yesterday was super dysphoric for me. I was lying on my wife's bed while my girls were getting ready for sleep. I was really sleepy and tired (an 8pm double coffee helped with that :p)... and all I could think about was my torso. I'm getting a bit skinny (for me) and, especially while lying supine, my belly goes in and shows my rib cage well... it just seemed really, really big. Then I was thinking about my breasts (lack of) and how, if they were big enough, the big rib cage would make them look bigger, and that would be OK.

I just want some breasts... and it feels weird to want them and not have them (or even be growing them, yet).

This resonated with me, too:

Quote from: Makalii on October 25, 2013, 11:28:34 PM
A friend of mine spends all this time telling me about her period and sex and all these other things that I'm excluded from, even though she says it to me like "Guess what girlfriend" it still leaves me feeling left out.

This sort of thing gets to me. They hate it - I doubt many woman would understand why I wish I could have it (even if it was *just* the period, however that'd work, I'd still take it)! I've always, always wanted to have the period - it just makes me feel like I'd be validated.

Started with a bad cough. Then a clogged up nose. Then it reached my sinuses. And now I make a funny rasping sound when I breathe and my lungs hurt so bad. *groan*

Sorry to hear you've come down sick Kittens    Hope it doesn't last long and you get well soon

Hugs

A Little Ceasar's deep dish pizza won't magically appear in my lap.  *sigh*

Quote from: Malachite on October 26, 2013, 08:15:23 AM
A Little Ceasar's deep dish pizza won't magically appear in my lap.  *sigh*

A Little Caesar's deep dish pizza won't magically have no calories 

There were nly gays  around here...

Oh. Another ->-bleeped-<- just called me "travelo" 30 seconds ago... too bad Im thT slow at typing and he us Already gone. Its my first beer in months and I really am in the mood for beAting kids to death.

Oh. And I hold all the  ight without being misgenderes

1. Apple Sprout's keyboard.

2. My BIL arranged to talk to me and basically just wanted to ream me out. I ended up kicking him out of my house and breaking down sobbing for 15 minutes... plus a few other times here and there, basically just because I wasn't ever given the chance to speak and defend myself.

On the good side... my dog was very concerned over me and comforted me for most of that 15 minutes. He's a lovin' lab.

Quote from: kabit on October 26, 2013, 08:45:22 AM
A Little Caesar's deep dish pizza won't magically have no calories 

It will have a lot of taste though :/



I totally misplaced my top surgery money.  I stuffed it somewhere down my junky box of stuff.  I know I can find it if I look hard enough though.

Thank god for my Self-preservation instinct. I still have enough muscle and residual T to send a minor to the hospital, which in the end would put me in the receiving end of the stick when facing a court, fudge my transition and not do a favour to the trans community. Not to mention that everything is recorded on the security cameras and... Nah, the last one that kicked an inmigrant girl went almost free.


This happened in the metro while going back home from a night at an LGBT pub. I really wanted to pin the little ->-bleeped-<-*r by the neck against the wall, give him an explanation about the differences between  a crossdresser and a transexual, how GID feels and how I am tring to control it so i don't vent it on his jaw, to throw him to the floor while saying "For the next time is transsexual. Get it memorized". I men, he just passed running next to me while shouting it and getting out the wagon. A pathetic little prepubescent coward.



Kabit,  those are my grammar checking brain cycles being rerouted to anger management and suppression. Which given the fact that it's 3:15 in the morning (what, the summer time finished today?), and still need to take my HRT fairly late, have a hot drink to temper my nerves, remove my make-up and untuck, I think I'm gonna pass on fixing it.



BTW, Xperia Tipo sucks that much for writing.

All day long, the woman sitting in front of me - well slightly to my left. There she was, being who she was, and all I could think/feel was an alternating flurry of, 'I so wish I was you' and 'Why can't the world get that I am you?' Sigh.

I stopped chasing after my "friends" to see if they would still talk to me if I didn't initiate every single conversation. The answer is no.
One of my enemies has infiltrated my "friends" and they welcome her with open arms. It's hard not to take that personally.
I still feel loneliness which is the most useless emotion I can think of and only serves to make me act like a whiny b-word. I despise how I act and feel when I'm lonely. It's not who I want to be.

Reading about Texas going to the supreme court to decide who I am. Sorry courts, but I know who I am.