Hi All,  I had another chat with my wife this morning about me being a transgender and her not knowing how to deal with it.  Funny I don't know how to deal with it either    Anyway, she told me she ordered Virginia Erhardt's book - Head Over Heels and I was wondering if anyone has read it and what they thought of the book.  Is this going to be helpful or make the whole situation even more complicated?

Quote from: Peregrine on October 27, 2013, 05:59:25 PM
Hi. I read this book when my spouse first came out to me. To be frank, I found it more upsetting than helpful. I think it could useful when one spouse is cross-dressing, but it didn't address my needs in learning that my spouse is transgender.

I'm sorry that I can't give a more positive review.

I wish you and your wife the very best.

Hi Peregrine,  I was afraid of that.  Yes that's my wife's problem as well.  She doesn't understand how me being transgender will work and is looking for answers but basically she doesn't really want me to change.  I can understand her point of view completely but I don't have any answers either.  On the other hand I'm extremely tired of the whole thing being constantly in my mind without any escape.

When she told me she ordered this book I suggested she read Dr. Anne Vitale's "The Gender Variant Phenomenon--A Developmental Review" just to get an idea how hard this is.  Basically Dr. Vitale suggest the only solution is HRT or the transgender person will just get bitter as life goes on.  I told her this was just one opinion when we get Erhardt's book maybe we will have some other options.  Oh well, nothing about this is easy.

We're talking, so that's a good thing.  The fact that I can be a little more open is some relief but I still don't know what to do next.

Thank you so much for your comment.  All the best to you and your spouse as well.
Paige

Quote from: Peregrine on October 28, 2013, 09:36:11 AM
Your wife can email me if that's helpful. We are early in the transition process, so this is still very new for me, too.

We came very close to ending our relationship, but we are actually better than ever now. Clearly, there are still many challenges to come, but we are committed to one another and to finding ways to be happy together.

So, I'm no expert. But if your wife would like to talk with someone who can identify with the initial grief and confusion (and also give some hope that relationships can last), then she can contact me.

sonoid222@yahoo.ca

Thanks so much Peregrine for the offer.  In some ways it sounds like a great idea, but I'm not sure she would be ready for this.  I may take you up on this in a bit.  Thanks again.