Quote from: kabit on October 29, 2013, 07:50:58 AM
This problem sounds much, much worse to me than wanting (and being able to imagine...) penetration.

I wouldn't neccessarily say that since dysphoria problems are very intimate with the person experiencing them.  The only reason I don't say much about them is for member's sake because of the highly graphic sexual nature of them.  The best way I can explain it metaphorically without getting overly detailed is like wanting to drink a delicious soda, but not having the arms to grab it.  Sure I could use a straw and lean over to drink it, but that's not as personal to me as opposed to wrapping my hands around the hand to feel how cold it is, picking it up, and actually putting my lips on it.....or better yet being a boxer that loves to box but then losing their arms, yet still feeling them.  The fact that I have to rely on my mind a lot is gutting and frustrating.

Quote from: Malachite on October 29, 2013, 08:06:44 AM
I wouldn't neccessarily say that since dysphoria problems are very intimate with the person experiencing them.  The only reason I don't say much about them is for member's sake because of the highly graphic sexual nature of them.  The best way I can explain it metaphorically without getting overly detailed is like wanting to drink a delicious soda, but not having the arms to grab it.  Sure I could use a straw and lean over to drink it, but that's not as personal to me as opposed to wrapping my hands around the hand to feel how cold it is, picking it up, and actually putting my lips on it.....or better yet being a boxer that loves to box but then losing their arms, yet still feeling them.  The fact that I have to rely on my mind a lot is gutting and frustrating.

Sorry hon, I do so enjoy your thoughtful and insightful introspectives, though I know they are painful. We need to keep in mind that though some have taken that thing for granted and often hated it enough to have it removed that there are others who hate the breasts that some would love to possess. Life is indeed full of disappointment and frustrations, but we have no choice but to persist until we prevail.

Quote from: Malachite on October 29, 2013, 08:06:44 AM
I wouldn't neccessarily say that since dysphoria problems are very intimate with the person experiencing them.  The only reason I don't say much about them is for member's sake because of the highly graphic sexual nature of them.  The best way I can explain it metaphorically without getting overly detailed is like wanting to drink a delicious soda, but not having the arms to grab it.  Sure I could use a straw and lean over to drink it, but that's not as personal to me as opposed to wrapping my hands around the hand to feel how cold it is, picking it up, and actually putting my lips on it.....or better yet being a boxer that loves to box but then losing their arms, yet still feeling them.  The fact that I have to rely on my mind a lot is gutting and frustrating.

I agree... and with Shan too. It's personal and it's something some people really can't stand having or not having... I was speaking more to the ability to do something about it, in the moment.

♥ It's all of it difficult for all of us.

Agreed.  At least we have this site to support each other.

I had an appointment with an agency to help me with rent for a month. Originally they said they would help if I was going back to work next month. At the appointment I was told I have have an eviction notice in hand first. That would be too late and add up to a couple thousand (goofy landlord math) instead of $445. Grrrr!!!! What a waste of time.

was in terrible pain earlier. My stomach felt like it was about to burst. I need to change some parts of my lifestyle around. It didn't feel good. I had this twice before.

Didn't realize that the battlefield 4 beta was closed until I spent hours upon hours downloading it on my PS3.  Just for that, I'm not buying the game at Black Friday.  I will wait for the BF4 premium, and even then I will wait until a price drop MUAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

I slept for 9 hours, woek up refreshed, and not two hours later, I feel like it's bed time again. -_- I know you have to rest with mono, but I have stuff I want to do.

Badly cut up while shaving

Went to get an oil change today as a girl for the first time.   I don't drive a lot (in Los Angeles, no less!), so it's been a year.

They tried to upsell me SO much more than they did before, assuming I knew nothing. The fact is that I had that car thoroughly gone through almost 4000 miles ago and is current on scheduled maintenance. I know a good mechanic for Hondas, and I swear by this guy. This doofus tech was basically telling me that my car could seize up any time if he didn't give me an engine and transmission flush right away for $200 more.

Then one tool who worked there gave me a "death stare" several times. Yes, a*hole- I'm trans. Now be a good little boy and top off my fluids before I "accidentally" run over your foot.

So. Not. Going. Back.

I am now shopping for a more chill place to take my car for a quick and dirty oil change. Or walk more.

I left my cell phone at work. But since I only live a mile from the office, I decided I'd just ride my bike over there and get it. But I managed to put a run in my pantyhose while changing into my sweats. Then on the way home, a spoke broke on the rear wheel. That's the fourth spoke I've broken in the past year, and the first one for this particular wheel.

Merde.

Made some careless mistakes at work that got noticed.  No one was upset at me because they are beginner issues which were corrected and caught in time, but it sucked to have messed up.  I'm glad everyone was understanding and nice to me about it when I talked to them about it; however, I am really annoyed with myself and will do my best to learn from the experience.  I really pride myself in my work, so it pisses me off that I let myself and the staff down.  Oh well, no one was mad and you can only move forward and learn from your mistakes.   

My sister calling me while I was in and out of a dream that I was in a special elite squad from Call of Duty: MW 3 trying to disfuse a bomb and we were successful.  The convo lasted for 43 minutes and now I'm awake.

I'm hurting and tired. What happens when I have to actually work and do it full time?

Quote from: LordKAT on October 30, 2013, 03:40:50 AM
I'm hurting and tired.

Hugs

So I had 4 good weeks as I sit here. Very happy on E but now I feel depressed

I feel down in that I just want it all over and done.
The E has only confirmed what I already knew as I need to go all the way to be the true me.
While the E makes me feel content, I just don't want to wait any longer but there is a long way to go.

Jen

Quote from: learningtolive on October 29, 2013, 10:26:56 PM
Made some careless mistakes at work that got noticed.  No one was upset at me because they are beginner issues which were corrected and caught in time, but it sucked to have messed up.  I'm glad everyone was understanding and nice to me about it when I talked to them about it; however, I am really annoyed with myself and will do my best to learn from the experience.  I really pride myself in my work, so it pisses me off that I let myself and the staff down.  Oh well, no one was mad and you can only move forward and learn from your mistakes.

Don't beat up on yourself, they know you're in a learning curve. You have a great attitude and that should take you a long way with this company!

I had to share a machine in the gym and the other guy insisted in allowing him to change the machine's bar (I was doing it), and even change it back to my weights every time we seapped places.


Ok, the putting the original weight is something I used to do when I am the second one that comes to a machine already being used out of courtesy, but as a woman and coming from a man I feel like being treated as the weak sex. I don't like that now people try to act as gentlemen with me instead of bro behaviour, and the bar thing... I'm not that weak, and although he was 10 cm taller than me, I could reach it perfectly.


Damn. I don't this treatment.

Quote from: Apple Sprout on October 30, 2013, 09:11:56 AM
I had to share a machine in the gym and the other guy insisted in allowing him to change the machine's bar (I was doing it), and even change it back to my weights every time we seapped places.


Ok, the putting the original weight is something I used to do when I am the second one that comes to a machine already being used out of courtesy, but as a woman and coming from a man I feel like being treated as the weak sex. I don't like that now people try to act as gentlemen with me instead of bro behaviour, and the bar thing... I'm not that weak, and although he was 10 cm taller than me, I could reach it perfectly.


Damn. I don't this treatment.

Then maybe transition isn't for you if you feel that way, because it's part of the package that most women expect and many MtF's yearn for.

Fffffff... Looks like this country is ONCE AGAIN starting to run dry on Sustanon... I don't want to revert back to gel. Dx

On top of that, the pharmacy didn't have my regular injecting needles so I had to take one "size" bigger, argh.