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Do you think we are treated badly because of who we are?

Started by Kiwi4Eva, October 30, 2013, 07:04:49 PM

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Kiwi4Eva

In my experience we are often treated with less dignity and respect by others.

I was referred to as Mr on my account with the hotel in Chonburi (my passport says female - and they had a copy of it)

I was referred to as "he" when I was at Yeson.

My medical certificate (from Yeson) calls me both a he and then a she in the same sentence.

These are examples of professional treatment.

I now choose to live without human companionship for most of the time preferring the love of my animals.
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Devlyn

"I now choose to live without human companionship for most of the time preferring the love of my animals"

You and I are like peas in a pod! Hugs, Devlyn
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Lauren5

Quote from: Kiwi4Eva on October 30, 2013, 07:04:49 PMI now choose to live without human companionship for most of the time preferring the love of my animals.
I have neither :(

On topic, unfortunately I have to say yes, as we are evidently "not natural" so we don't belong.
Hey, you've reached Lauren's signature! If you have any questions, want to talk, or just need a shoulder to cry on, leave me a message, and I'll get back to you.
*beep*

Full time: 12/12/13
Started hormones: 26/3/14
FFS: No clue, winter/spring 2014/15 maybe?
SRS: winter/spring 2014/15?
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Megumi

I would say yes just based off of what I've seen in person from the "normal" side of the fence. I don't have enough experience on being out in the world as a transgender woman to be sure of that. So far I've been lucky the two times I've gone out into the world as myself.

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Chaos

As a FtM i would say yes,we are without a doubt treated differently.Its hard though ill admit when your around so many narrow minded people (using the wrong name and so on) to just *not* do it because of an image thats been projected for so long.Even i slipped a few times while speaking of someone i knew nothing about and those i was speaking to,were constantly disrespecting the person.So for *me* it was a mix of confusion and lack of personal knowlege on the person but i made sure to stay on track and continue to defend them.I think we all need to surround ourselves with people who know and love us,who dont think or feel like the rest of society.it makes life worth living and transition much easier.
All Thing's Come With A Price...
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LordKAT

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Sephirah

I would have to say no. It's not because of who we are. Strangers don't know who we are.

The people who treat us badly do so because of who they are. And because of a perceptual image in their own minds of a person they think they know. A perception of what something represents, and how to act because of that. That's not so much a reflection on who we are as it is on how they think, and how their lives colour their own perceptions.

My opinion, anyway.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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Jessica Merriman

My humble opinion Is we scare them because it makes them look into their own lives and feelings of who they are or might be inside. I find those that complain the most have secrets of their own and they over compensate by humiliating us to get the light off of them. They get others to look at us and not them.
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Cindy

In my personal experience I have been very fortunate to be treated as any other woman is. Yes I get some 'looks' but no one has been rude to me in my presence.

I have to admit that I would correct them if they did, not so much for my feelings, but for other men and woman who are or may be more sensitive than I. I feel I owe it to them to stand up for being a normal woman.

I do interact on a daily basis with many people at all walks of life.

I did at the beginning of this make the conscious decision that I would never be offended or insulted.

Recently there was an incident were I may have been blocked in taking up an appointment for personal reasons. I did firmly tell my superiors that if I was being blocked for issues to do with being transgender, than the full force of the law would be applied and that I had no fear of any publicity concerning me. I was appointed to the position within two days.

I have zero tolerance for intolerance.
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Kiwi4Eva

Quote from: Cindy on October 31, 2013, 01:47:51 AM
In my personal experience I have been very fortunate to be treated as any other woman is. Yes I get some 'looks' but no one has been rude to me in my presence.

I have to admit that I would correct them if they did, not so much for my feelings, but for other men and woman who are or may be more sensitive than I. I feel I owe it to them to stand up for being a normal woman.

I do interact on a daily basis with many people at all walks of life.

I did at the beginning of this make the conscious decision that I would never be offended or insulted.

Recently there was an incident were I may have been blocked in taking up an appointment for personal reasons. I did firmly tell my superiors that if I was being blocked for issues to do with being transgender, than the full force of the law would be applied and that I had no fear of any publicity concerning me. I was appointed to the position within two days.

I have zero tolerance for intolerance.

I like your attitude Cindy.  It's very similar to mine.  I'm told I have a strong "social justice" streak.
Susan's makes me realize how many and varied the problems are and no one has the right to hurt or harm any of us.  :)
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Cindy

Quote from: Kiwi4Eva on October 31, 2013, 01:54:55 AM
I like your attitude Cindy.  It's very similar to mine.  I'm told I have a strong "social justice" streak.
Susan's makes me realize how many and varied the problems are and no one has the right to hurt or harm any of us.  :)

It is the ANZAC spirit, those men and woman (and transgender soldiers because there would have been) fought for truth. They fought and died for us. We do the same.
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Kiwi4Eva

Wonderful attitude!  Good on you Cindy I agree 100%.  And might I add the same sentiments apply to the elderly of our community who have paved the way for us!  :)
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smile_jma

I think it depends...  In terms of SOME medical issues, you can get turned down for things if the insurance company stands their ground to not accept you for who you are.

In normal walks of life, I think as long as you pass, you will have no issues.  If you somewhat pass/not really pass (subjective, of course), then there will be the people that don't notice and treat you  no different; there will be the people that notice, but still have the decency to treat you like anyone else; and then there are the ones who notice and treat you like you're an alien that needs to get out/away.

Usually the 3rd group is made up of uneducated people or they like feeling like they're better than others just because.
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Nicolette

The only section of society that I am exposed to that could treat me badly is the medical community. In all cases, except one, I have been treated like royalty after divulging. That one bad experience was by a surgeon that was sued by a previous patient, a transgender patient.
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of a sort

A lot of the people that treat us badly also treat others badly too, so maybe they have issues of their own.

I get treated well although I can tell a difference between the ones that know I'm trans and the ones that don't, but its not a big deal. It is a bit funny though when someone seems to go out of their way to acknowledge my being a woman though, more so than they would another cis woman.
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KabitTarah

Quote from: Sephirah on October 31, 2013, 01:00:38 AM
I would have to say no. It's not because of who we are. Strangers don't know who we are.

The people who treat us badly do so because of who they are. And because of a perceptual image in their own minds of a person they think they know. A perception of what something represents, and how to act because of that. That's not so much a reflection on who we are as it is on how they think, and how their lives colour their own perceptions.

My opinion, anyway.

This is Right! We cannot change who we are (many of us have tried). Society is responsible for how we're treated. Some people are understanding (but probably don't understand). Others are not understanding and treat us poorly. Both can be blamed partly on the poor representation of us in the media over the past 50+ years and partly based on the fact that society hates people who are different and exist in small groups.

We, as a group, can be blamed in part. Many of us hide who we are (whether presenting as our birth gender or our true gender). Many purposefully (and I've been guilty of this) don't stick up for others in our community because we're afraid of being called out for it. I respect that some people don't have the ability to stand up as an agent of change, but we do need more and more transgender people to help forward a change in society (and I think progress has been amazing thus far).

The greater blame does go to the society that looks down on us as freaks, though.
~ Tarah ~

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Kiwi4Eva

I was referring more to the professional people who treat us badly, as in my first post.  If your a professional, a Dentist, a Doctor, anyone who accepts money from you for a service, don't you think they should treat us professionally?

I recall back when I had my surgery 40 years ago, it was common knowledge (where I live) that if you were a sex-change, or (if you weren't) they called you a ->-bleeped-<- then, if you wanted surgical procedures (i.e. breast augmentation) every penny had to be paid up front.  There was a terrible stigma attached to being "trans" in the medical profession.
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suzifrommd

Quote from: Kiwi4Eva on October 31, 2013, 01:53:53 PM
If your a professional, a Dentist, a Doctor, anyone who accepts money from you for a service, don't you think they should treat us professionally?

I personally would switch doctors away from anyone who refused to gender me properly or treat me with respect.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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sam79

Having recently gone part-time, I wouldn't necessarily say we're treated badly, but certainly treated differently. I know that I don't pass yet, so I've been taking a keen interest in reactions of shopkeepers etc that I interact with.

Some of them give me really quick service ( I assume in the hope that I'll go away quickly ).

Some are somehow ignorant of my presentation and refer to me with male pronouns... They get dirty looks from me.

Some are respectful and treat me with indifference.
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Shaina

Quote from: Sephirah on October 31, 2013, 01:00:38 AM
I would have to say no. It's not because of who we are. Strangers don't know who we are.

The people who treat us badly do so because of who they are. And because of a perceptual image in their own minds of a person they think they know.

Agreed. It's because of who they think trans people are (and really anyone different). I think it threatens their perception of who they are and their identity.

Professional communities are no exception. They're often the first to tolerate change and the last to accept it. Look at what some cis women go through in the workplace. It can be that much harder for a trans woman, in my opinion.
I was a child and she was a child   
    In this kingdom by the sea:   
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
    I and my Annabel Lee
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