I pretty much pass 99% of the time in public as a guy. People don't question me at all. They call me he.

Well one day my mom and I were in old navy, and a store manager called me my mom's son. Later on in the car my mom said that from now on she going to correct people when they call me her son or he, and say that I'm her daughter and a she. She did it today in publix and people were staring.
She won't listen to how I feel about the matter at all. She just says she isn't going to lie for me.
I feel so embarrassed and now I don't want to go anywhere with her. :c

That's pretty inconsiderate of her and for that I apologize. My mother doesn't take it to that extent but she, too, has issues with gendering me appropriately.
This normally wouldn't bother me (I'd take the times as casual slip-ups) but she very patronizingly corrects herself and stutters out,
"Er.... dude... or whatever it is." after calling me "miss" something.
Highly frustrating. I can't seem to get her to comprehend the depths of anguish I've been marinating in for the past two decades of my life.

I know you've said that you've spoken to her about this before, but have you really set her down and gone into depth about how this makes you feel? You have every right to let her know how upsetting and degrading this is for you and she absolutely needs to know.

I've tried sitting down with her to talk about it but it always turns into an argument about religion.
She just had the audacity to say I'll never make it as a male model... And it really got to me. :/

Quote from: liamsawyer on November 01, 2013, 06:42:52 PM
I pretty much pass 99% of the time in public as a guy. People don't question me at all. They call me he.

Well one day my mom and I were in old navy, and a store manager called me my mom's son. Later on in the car my mom said that from now on she going to correct people when they call me her son or he, and say that I'm her daughter and a she. She did it today in publix and people were staring.
She won't listen to how I feel about the matter at all. She just says she isn't going to lie for me.
I feel so embarrassed and now I don't want to go anywhere with her. :c

Respect is a two-way street.  If she can't be respectful - it has nothing to do with "lying" - then she doesn't deserve your company.

Your gender identity is masculine.  She needs to accept that and act accordingly.

I'm to the point where I'm going to walk away. I deserve respect and if I'm not going to get it from my own mother then good bye to her.
I am a guy. I am male. I just happen to be in the wrong body.

I think she's making herself look more like an idiot than yourself. If I saw a mum who was clearly with her son and she started calling him a 'she' or her 'daughter' I would question the parents' sanity. She's making herself look like a fool, not you. You deserve to be treated with respect. Whilst it hurts you when she does it - which I completely understand how it feels - ultimately, people who don't know the situation are going to see a mum calling her son a girl and think she's the one who's confused.

you know, you're right about that. I haven't really thought about it like that before. The more I think about it, the more I realize just how true that is. She is the one looking like an idiot. Not me.

Quote from: liamsawyer on November 01, 2013, 07:04:58 PM
I've tried sitting down with her to talk about it but it always turns into an argument about religion.

Tip: Don't "bite" on anything religious. A standard reply is, "We're not talking about (religion, G-d, (insert other subject here), we're talking about me, and how your statements make me feel."

QuoteShe just had the audacity to say I'll never make it as a male model... And it really got to me. :/

Ouch! That would hurt...so when she says something that hurts, tell her. And, the truth does NOT hurt (contrary to popular opinion)...insults do.

Standard rebuttal is, "You're not qualified to say that. You're not a (professional photographer/doctor/psychiatrist/pastor/etc)."

And repeat as necessary.

Quote from: Blinded Wolf on November 01, 2013, 07:01:59 PM
That's pretty inconsiderate of her and for that I apologize. My mother doesn't take it to that extent but she, too, has issues with gendering me appropriately.
This normally wouldn't bother me (I'd take the times as casual slip-ups) but she very patronizingly corrects herself and stutters out,
"Er.... dude... or whatever it is." after calling me "miss" something.
Highly frustrating. I can't seem to get her to comprehend the depths of anguish I've been marinating in for the past two decades of my life.

I know you've said that you've spoken to her about this before, but have you really set her down and gone into depth about how this makes you feel? You have every right to let her know how upsetting and degrading this is for you and she absolutely needs to know.

I agree with Blind Wolf 100% that that was very inconsiderate of your mom. You are trying to be true to yourself and she's not helping by contradicting your true beliefs.

I tend to remove myself from the presence of people who wear me down. My mother tries now. I still am very limited in where I will go with her. Some I never see any more, some have decided I am worth adjusting for, to have around.

Not having one's mother on one's side is brutal, no other way to put it.

But I think she needs to be told in a rather blunt fashion, there WILL come a day when she will be if lucky to get old enough, to need you, and you might be well long gone at that moment.

She gave birth to you, but it does not imply ownership. She has a lot of responsibilities, and you can tell her this parent doesn't think much of her parenting skills if she doesn't knock it off. She can be sad about losing a daughter, but she should be glad she gained a son. And she should be just happy she still has the person.

You might want to ask her how she would feel if you went around telling everyone she was dead, or you are adopted and she's crazy, or she's a step mom and merely hates you.

She seems to honestly believe her crap is going to be the problem though.

Quote from: liamsawyer on November 01, 2013, 06:42:52 PM
I pretty much pass 99% of the time in public as a guy. People don't question me at all. They call me he.

Well one day my mom and I were in old navy, and a store manager called me my mom's son. Later on in the car my mom said that from now on she going to correct people when they call me her son or he, and say that I'm her daughter and a she. She did it today in publix and people were staring.
She won't listen to how I feel about the matter at all. She just says she isn't going to lie for me.
I feel so embarrassed and now I don't want to go anywhere with her. :c

I'm very sorry your mother is treating you this way.  I know how you feel and wanted to share my sympathies with you.  I'm hoping your relationship will improve with time.