Hi girls, I'm kind of freaking out at the moment and wondering if anyone has had a similar experience:
When I was 19, I had an Orchiectomy. I am now soon-to-be 21, and although initially I saw many incredible physical changes in addition to the changes I had prior to my Orchie (I began transition at 15) I am now suddenly experiencing quite a terrifying regression in femininity. At first I thought it was related to injectable estrogen (perhaps that it was too much for my post-op body to handle, it was certainly making me more nauseous than ever before) and so I had my Doctor switch me to different pill-form estrogen that has worked for me in the past. Now, after trying just about every different possible formulation of estrogen, there seems to be no logical explanation for the fact that my face seems to be reverting back to something masculine! Even my body appears to be losing some shape, although oddly, my breasts appear to be developing further.
If I could describe best what has been most troubling for me, my brows appear to be sagging as they used to prior to HRT, and I'm getting a facial hair "shadow" that I haven't had since I was 15, and my whole face just appears 'gruff' all of a sudden whereas I had been living as female 24/7, in fact it poses many complications in my life because I am 100% stealth to everyone who knows me, so this is quite embarrassing and carries a lot of social implications, for people who have known me as a genetic female for 3+ years to suddenly be seeing me differently. (No one has commented yet, but I certainly feel paranoid/insecure.)
The negative changes began occurring about 6 months ago, and my Doctor and I have given each drug adequate periods of time to perhaps pick up where the progress stopped and go from there. Unfortunately, it has not done that. My appearance/femininity seems to continue to decline, now rapidly. (Far worse than it was prior to the Orchiectomy, and over the last 2 months my Doc has also had me on an anti-androgen again, which does not appear to be helping, either.)
I just can't understand why someone would actually get WORSE almost 2 years after an Orchiectomy, than they were before they even had the damn thing! I definitely wish to have SRS in the future, but the reason I pursued an Orchiectomy beforehand was because I was expecting increased feminisation, not diminished.
I hope someone will be able to shed some light, even if only on an anecdotal basis.
Thank you!
