I'm young and I'm currently making plans to transition. But I have a nonsupporting family to deal with and money issues so transitioning will have to wait for now. I go through alot emotionally dealing with depression, body dysphoria, anxiety, and social problems but I never felt like it held me back.

Its kinda like if your watching a movie and you get a phone call and you put the movie on pause. While your on the phone your not worried that your gonna miss the movie because the movie is paused and you can pick up where you left off at anytime.

Although it was a struggle everyday I never felt like I was missing anything. During this time I have to live my life as a "girl".... my life is paused and soon Ill be able to pick up where I left off and continue my life as the man I really am.

Recently however I met this girl who I shortly started to developing a little crush on I might add, and she asked me if I was a lesbian and I said yes (Although I identify and a straight male).  She then asked me why am I into women and not men and she started to describe how men are strong and muscular and have deep voices and how I could not be attracted to that. While she was talking all I could think of is "I am a guy you just cant see it".

I'm not a very good fake lesbian so I didn't really plea a strong case for you girls (sorry) and I don't think she took me seriously as a lesbian. She even called me "just a tomboy" and that I should find and a "softcore guy" to be with. Whatever that is...

So then I started to realize that alot of people don't take me seriously and for the first time ever I felt like I was held back. Like I couldn't have a romantic relationship because I'm not psychically a man yet.
 
How to deal with Pre-T life? Advise?

Well before i found out i was Trans*,i also said i was lesbian.(which is odd that my mother would accept that but not being Trans*) i also have the type of family you do or i *did* have.One thing you have to remember is that many have their own orientations and own sexual preference but that should never be allowed to effect you.Regardless of someone elses ideas or views or opinions,be who YOU are and never let anyone degrade or down play that,even if they mean well by it.I had a girlfriend for a long time and it felt right but it felt wrong.I knew i was ment to be with a woman but still not knowing who i was,it still didnt match.My mother gave me NO hassle over it and even talked to me on a normal bases about it.

That being said,honesty is the first step.with yourself and others.this doesnt mean to tell people your Trans* until your ready but to deal head on with people you feel might be leading you down their path for you.Correct your friend when she feels she needs to make clear *you* need to be with a man and listing all the reasons why.For me personally,i would get a negative vibe and would explain that i am NOT into men and i would ask that she stop correcting me.But thats me.That alone is a big step and taking charge of your life and where its going.as you said *for the first time ever I felt like I was held back* thats what you need first of all,to make sure that feeling isnt repeated and allow yourself freedom.

the second is knowing yourself on a personal level.Its true we all start out with the knowledge of who we are but there is SO much more to it then that.there are ramifications that need to be strongly gone over (even a few times) *what about family,friends,job,what will T do to my body,how will it effect school* and so many other questions need to be answered.When i found out i was Trans*,i had NOTHING to lose because i had already lost everything and i was already in my 30s with no job/school.But there is so much that many have and this prepares us for the future that many *could/couldnt* have.Knowing that being Trans* alone is hard,the impact it can have on ones life,those around them and their future-its like drawing out a map.So many places that one can go but only one place will be where we settle.That being said,i believe these are the two most important things

1) do not reform to anyones ideas or views.Because being Trans* alone,takes someone to have the guts/balls to be who they are.
2) know deep down inside WHO you are.Fill your mind and heart with the right knowledge,outcomes and prepare for it all.

ughhhh i know this feel.

I too have feelings for a girl, actually  best friend of mine, we've been in a flirtationship forever but I actually have had feelings for her for so long. a couple weeks ago i just told her  aloved her, i didn't pull any punches i said love. i said love from a man to a woman, she knows i am trans and is fine wiht it. she doesn't use proper pronouns, only because i haven't enforced it at all, but she understood what i said what i wanted but she is straight and i don't think she could see that i am a man because i am pre t. and it infuriates me so so so much. she left my confession kind of on hold, she said she was incredibly flattered that i think that of her, she'd never been told that by anyone before. so she never thought of it before, never thought of me in that way. but maybe im just soft serving the fact i got rejected or maybe she didn't want to reject me i don't know, but i know the fact im not a man ont he outside played into this and it pisses me off.

i have started dressing in boy clothes, i wear mens pants and jackets usually with a mens sweater or  a t shirt, my hair is cut short, and i have been seen as a guy before though i introduce myself as a girl right now because it's kind of obvious in a college setting...

im afraid i do not relate to you on family matters my folks are fine with it. they are the ones that actually got me to therapy to get this taken care of.

but i mean yu just gotta trudge through it, if you just be yourself, no one asks questions i find out. i know guys don't give a damn about the fact i dress like a dude and so far no girls have said anything because i started the school year kind of looking like i do now so they just accept it as me being me.

I'm pre-T as well, and young. Only person in my family who I've told yet is my mom and she didn't take it seriously. I guess what keeps me going is the fact that I know someday, I'm going to be who I want to be. So the BS I have to deal with now isn't going to matter.

I just got out of a relationship with a girl. She dumped me out of the blue, wouldn't give me a clear reason why, but I think it's because I've changed since we started dating. I started dating her before I knew I was trans. When I told her, she said she was ok with it, but I think she started to lose feelings for me when I started "looking" more like a guy (wearing guy clothes, binding, short hair).

Anyway... dating pre-T is difficult... dating in general is difficult. But it's not impossible. Don't give up.

I think she just doesn't understand sexuality in general, let alone what trans* is. Don't take it too personally that she is asking you why you're not into men (since you are not out as trans*, it would be hard for her to figure that out), but rather, you could try to educate her about the LGBTQ, perhaps later leading into the fact that you're trans*. I know this is probably not the kind of advice you were looking for, but that's how I see where she is coming from. It is best to understand the other person's views before forming a plan of attack.

So now, if you want to date as the man you are, you're going to have to tell others that. They will not be able to read your mind and all they see is the current outer shell (body) that you are in. I don't want to pressure you to come out, but realize that you may eventually have to, in order to be seen the way you want to.

My girlfriend and I started dating before I even knew what trans* meant, and now I am out to her, and she is ok with loving me as a man (still a work in progress, but it always is).

Dating is such an intimate part of life, that maybe you should keep your movie unpaused during that. Living as a "girl" is hard enough, but keeping the closest person to you out of the loop is a different level of difficulty. It may be too much on you emotionally.

You ARE a man. You just haven't clued it in on everyone else yet. Try thinking of your "girl mode" as a disguise and pretend you're a master assassin strutting around.

Good luck!

I know how you feel. I purposely avoided dating or physical contact with anyone when I was younger because I felt they wouldn't see me as who I was, I had massive body dysphoria at certain times, etc.

The problem is, mixing the two worlds (trying to have the kind of romantic relationships you're wanting, while still being a "girl" with your life on pause). And as you've found out you don't do "fake lesbian" well either. So whoever you got with would have to be on the same page of keeping your secret until you could take the pause button off.

Advice? Learn to deal. Grow a tough skin and roll with the punches. I've acknowledged myself as an FtM for 5 years and I'm just now getting top surgery and starting T next month. It's a tough journey and at many times a long one but just try to be grateful for what you do have. Older people who have transitioned didnt have websites like this to seek guidance from but our younger generation does. At times it may seem like theres no hope...but it does get better. Just have to stay strong!