I am not the person in the photo, I am actually the leather chair! 

Wow, this subject being hashed out yet again. Must be a fave.

For those who missed my last post, the Internet is not anon. At one time it pretty much was but not any longer. Pictures and names can lead to addresses and with those an identity thief can cause much grief and havoc in one's life.

The world is a beautiful and dangerous place in which to live, work, play, love, cry, and dance in through the days. For many of you, you will not have had to deal with the much darker side of life. People like serial killers, serial rapists, and other assorted really nasty people that are few and far between in society. To those who never cross the line, you have my envy. For those who have, you would understand why some of us opt to not expose exactly who we are to the world. Think what you like but at least I will rest easier knowing that it is just a wee bit more difficult to be tracked. Mayhaps it is part of the PTSD from everything that has happened and then maybe it is something else entirely.

I do know that to judge someone based on a personal choice of whether or not to expose their image to the internet is pretty shallow. Will there be some who pass off as someone else? Yes and that is on them completely. A few have been exposed over the years and I am sure there are others waiting in the wings to do the same.

Regardless of that avatar I do know that I have laughed, cried, and shared other emotions that came through in our communications over the years. Will I ever meet anyone here? Probably not and that is largely a personal choice of mine as there are members pretty near to where I live and work. So I will take people at face value, whatever that face may be, until they give me a reason not to do so.

Oh and for those who are wondering, the avatar I use is actually from a piece of art out there on the 'Net but with a background I edited into it. I liked it. A mixture of attitude, happiness, and youth. All things I definitely can identify with even though it is not myself in that small square.

Quote from: Berliegh on July 20, 2007, 09:11:13 AM

It's very misleading and I am in constant thought that most people in here look really fantastic and genetic and it makes me feel insecure about my own looks. It's very confusing and I don't know who is real and who is presenting a false image of themselves. I thought you were gorgeous until this confession. I know Rachael and Melissa are real and a lot of others are too........can people on the forum please be honest with their photographs or just post a pic of their pet like a dog or cat in their aviator so we have a better idea what people are posting their real picture's and the one's who prefer to be anonymous..

Your picture isn't anything to worry about, you look like your getting good results so far. Just remember that your worst critic is always yourself.

I hope I can get good results when the time comes.

I would post my pictures here, but I haven't even started HRT yet. When I become confident I'm getting results, I'll post a real picture.

For now the best I can do is use my illustrations of "Marciel" as my avatar. In some ways it's still more personal than the stock photos though.

~Marciel

Anyone can use any picture they like. Be it of themself, or to represent their inner self.  The picture can be real or artistic, it doesn't matter.

Quote from: Susan on July 20, 2007, 05:55:17 PM
Anyone can use any picture they like. Be it of themself, or to represent their inner self.  The picture can be real or artistic, it doesn't matter.

As long as it doesn't violate any of the site rules.

i think seeing what someone wants you to see is most revealing

where's that picture of nothing? I can't find it

Quote from: Pica Pica on July 20, 2007, 06:09:49 PM
i think seeing what someone wants you to see is most revealing

you can be really profund sometimes as well funny

Quote from: Kat on July 20, 2007, 05:06:00 PM
I am not the person in the photo, I am actually the leather chair! 

that was a good one!   


Regina,

My photo is darkened because I do feel like a hideous loathsome toad.  It's all I got.  I'm not transitioning and I certainly don't look the way I would like to even though I sometimes get compliments from the ladies - who then refuse to kiss me 

---

Addendum

The shame of exposing my half face to the human world in addition to the ghastly fear some of you were nice enough to instill within me concerning ID theft has caused me to post this unfinished business instead.  If you see an eye thing with red around it, then you are looking into my real eye.

Now -


I hope you're all happy now!!!!                    because, I am 

The kitty on my avatar is Bast.  She is indeed the Goddess of all cats and the protector of women and children. (Egyptian mythology)

tink

For a long time I was selfconcious of avatar photos... for one I wasnt happy with my features, and for another there was the privacy issue...  I didnt want to be outed....

I got over my fears and would post what I considder crummy pics of myself... cuz camaraphones dont like me and I can see all the features I still dont like in myself... but camara phone is all I have so its what you all will get 

Ive been useing my avatar as a timeline of my transition... I have one from the beginning, one from the middle, one from right after fulltime, and one more recent.....  The newest one will be the most awsome of all.. but I cant transfer it properly till I go and fix my laptop 

Post what you want, show what you want...  Just dont claim to be someone or something your not.  Art, stock photos, personal photos, photos of friends...  Just dont show us the pic of a super model and claim its you unless your willing to do a live webcam feed with me to prove it 

At any given time, on any given TG bulletin board, there are usually one or two members of who are using someone else's photo and claiming it s their own. Usually, these people out themselves to the discerning because their pics do not change and their posts are vague and do not delve into detail.

I don't understand why people do this. A friend of mine did this, she stole a pic from someone at myspace. She even swore to me, it was her own pic, which looked like a movie star. In her case, I finally figured out she was very disturbed when I found out she was posting her fake pic at dating sites and meeting guys all over the country and defrauding them of money for surgery.

I am not sure what happened to her although it would not surprise me if she wound up dead or in jail.

Quote from: regina on July 20, 2007, 11:54:46 AM

Quote from: Melissa on July 20, 2007, 11:17:39 AM
My point is that for some people who really aren't passable, it provides a sense of security.  Unfortunately, many of those individuals suffer dysphoria in everyday life because they don't look like those photos. 

I know this isn't a discussion about avatars, but it does have to do with self-image. Just my opinion—I don't think using someone else's pic as your avatar is a good for your image of yourself. To me, transitioning is all about finally dealing with realities. The reality of what kind of woman you are and will be. Presenting oneself as something other than who you are doesn't really help that process and will only make it harder when it does come time to show the world what you look like. Especially when people use avatars that are younger, more femmy looking and prettier than they are, it's very hard to develop a sense of self-acceptance that's key to transitioning. Again, just speaking for myself, I would rather not see an avatar than see one that doesn't match the current reality of that person.

ciao,
Gina M.

I agree totally with you Gina. If you are Transsexual you should be dealing with reality not fantasy.

Posted on: July 21, 2007, 01:13:31 AM

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Quote from: melissa90299 on July 21, 2007, 12:10:08 AM
At any given time, on any given TG bulletin board, there are usually one or two members of who are using someone else's photo and claiming it s their own. Usually, these people out themselves to the discerning because their pics do not change and their posts are vague and do not delve into detail.

I don't understand why people do this. A friend of mine did this, she stole a pic from someone at myspace. She even swore to me, it was her own pic, which looked like a movie star. In her case, I finally figured out she was very disturbed when I found out she was posting her fake pic at dating sites and meeting guys all over the country and defrauding them of money for surgery.

I am not sure what happened to her although it would not surprise me if she wound up dead or in jail.

Melissa, I've seen what you mention happen time and time again..

Quote from: Kristi on July 20, 2007, 05:04:02 PM
That being said, Berliegh, you are gorgeous!  Truly!  Why in the world world would you feel insecure?  I was totally scared to post my first pic, but I got over it.  Andt those here have seen my pic morph into what it looks like now, and have been helpful in my doing so.  I'd like to see some more of your pics, and I think you are one incredibly gorgeous woman.

Kristi

Kristi.....you are definitely kidding about me! .....have you seen Debski.....now she is a gorgeous woman....

Quote from: Berliegh on July 21, 2007, 01:14:54 AM

Kristi.....you are definitely kidding about me! .....have you seen Debski.....now she is a gorgeous woman....

Berliegh, honey, what's your address?   I think we need to send you a mirror.     And no, I'm not kidding one bit.  Accept it and enjoy it.

Peace,
Kristi

<----- the real deal

It doesn't get any better than this 

Quote from: regina on July 21, 2007, 10:59:26 AM

Quote from: Pica Pica on July 20, 2007, 06:09:49 PM
i think seeing what someone wants you to see is most revealing

PP:

I totally agree with what you're saying... it's like a rorschach test which is interesting for gaining some insight into that person's psyche but perhaps not that helpful in connecting to them on a personal level. My personal needs are to see who I'm really communicating with or, at least, to let me create my own mental picture out of nothing without having it manipulated by someone else's manipulation of who they are.

[edited for brevity -the Reeb]
Perhaps I'm paranoid, but I don't buy the "personal expression of inner self" line that people always seem to say about their avatars that look totally different from themselves (and do you notice that no one ever chooses a photo of Eleanor Roosevelt, Coretta Scott King, Gertrude Stein or Emily Dickinson as their avatar??). Maybe there could be an element of magical thinking involved (I'll suddenly 'poof' wake up looking like this one day) but for adults, that's not a good route to take for healing, that's delusional.

ciao,
Gina M.

  As a matter of fact, my eye happens to be red because I was up all night drinking with Emily Dickenson.

  I like people using crazy pictures to represent their selves. If people need to see someone, they can request a photo or that a picture be put in the gallery.  Maybe they could request a copy of their drivers license or drinking ID.  I would ask that it be notarized.

Quote from: regina on July 21, 2007, 10:59:26 AM
Perhaps I'm paranoid, but I don't buy the "personal expression of inner self" line that people always seem to say about their avatars that look totally different from themselves (and do you notice that no one ever chooses a photo of Eleanor Roosevelt, Coretta Scott King, Gertrude Stein or Emily Dickinson as their avatar??).

While I understand what you are saying, but why is "personal expression of inner self" not palatable? I chose an anime avatar at first that reflected how I felt and later switched to my existing avatar for personal reasons. Apart from being cute the wolf is symbolic to me.

But this said, I would hope that my words are untrodden by my physical appearance because to be honest what I look like is not what I feel like. Or as I see it, my physical reflection is misleading.

^*shrug*

Anyway, just another perspective on the topic, for what it is worth.

Sand in the wind...

again?  i guess some are really obsessed with this topic..

that's me on the left.  either take it or leave it.

Quote from: Kristi on July 21, 2007, 08:25:21 AM

Quote from: Berliegh on July 21, 2007, 01:14:54 AM

Kristi.....you are definitely kidding about me! .....have you seen Debski.....now she is a gorgeous woman....

Berliegh, honey, what's your address?   I think we need to send you a mirror.     And no, I'm not kidding one bit.  Accept it and enjoy it.

Peace,
Kristi

Kristi, Judging by your photograph you have nothing to worry about either. You look a lot feminine than I ever could.

Posted on: July 21, 2007, 11:46:47 AM

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Quote from: Kristi on July 21, 2007, 08:25:21 AM

Quote from: Berliegh on July 21, 2007, 01:14:54 AM

Kristi.....you are definitely kidding about me! .....have you seen Debski.....now she is a gorgeous woman....

Berliegh, honey, what's your address?   I think we need to send you a mirror.     And no, I'm not kidding one bit.  Accept it and enjoy it.

Peace,
Kristi

Come on Kristi, going by your photograph you look a lot more feminine than I ever could. I'll try and put in a closer aviatior...

Quote from: regina on July 21, 2007, 10:59:26 AM

Quote from: Pica Pica on July 20, 2007, 06:09:49 PM
i think seeing what someone wants you to see is most revealing

PP:

I totally agree with what you're saying... it's like a rorschach test which is interesting for gaining some insight into that person's psyche but perhaps not that helpful in connecting to them on a personal level. My personal needs are to see who I'm really communicating with or, at least, to let me create my own mental picture out of nothing without having it manipulated by someone else's manipulation of who they are.

In reference to showing pictures and Internet safety... I might have said that 5-6 years ago (the avatar I use is the first picture of myself I've ever put up) but with Myspace, Google, YouTube, Friendster and every other image-laden site that's around, I think we're waaay beyond that period in Internet evolution. There are so many millions and millions of images out there for the stealing and manipulating that it makes what we put up here pretty meaningless. The key is doing it on a site that's non-searchable.

Perhaps I'm paranoid, but I don't buy the "personal expression of inner self" line that people always seem to say about their avatars that look totally different from themselves (and do you notice that no one ever chooses a photo of Eleanor Roosevelt, Coretta Scott King, Gertrude Stein or Emily Dickinson as their avatar??). Maybe there could be an element of magical thinking involved (I'll suddenly 'poof' wake up looking like this one day) but for adults, that's not a good route to take for healing, that's delusional.

My point is... if I thought I knew someone online, shared intimacies with them (which is what these sites are all about) and found out they'd been lying or misrepresenting who they were through an avatar or pictures, I wouldn't trust that person again even if I did have some compassion for their insecurity. And, again, for all the things one could be concerned with in this world (or even in dealing with transness) avatars are low,low, low on the list.

ciao,
Gina M.

I think most people use a stock avatar at first because they can't upload their own avatar until 15 posts. They want a picture of a woman and the stock avatars naturally only come in young and beautiful.
The stock avatars are all the same size. It's not hard to tell when it's a stock avatar. I really doubt it occurs to the pretty stock avatar users that someone might think it's them.