Cindy my friend,
All the things that happened to make you feel this way, really happened.
I am so sorry you went through those things, and that for so long it seemed like you had no hope of living your dreams.
Now that your dreams are coming true, please know that all of your hurting parts are welcome, to get the love and listening they need in order to be whole, for as long as it takes.
I would sit a vigil with you if I could be there.
-Maddie