So I know this guy "Tom" (not his real name)... except when I first met him, he was a "she". That was probably 11 years ago now and he transitioned to male about 6 years later. Before that I could tell Tom was struggling with his gender identity, especially during the first few years I knew him, then there was a stage of being girly and female before the full transition started. "Look! I have a beard!" were the words he said when 'outing' himself to me. I was a little surprised but not much - clearly he was happy and that was the important thing. I know I did think though it was a real shame there hadn't been a way the two of us couldn't have just swapped bodies 

Thing is, I've never told Tom about my own gender issues. I suppose when he first started transitioning I was still in denial and shame about my own earlier tilt at transition. Tom's really into his male life and his body has adjusted significantly to testosterone, he's really enjoying doing outdoors blokey things with his ginormous boyfriend (same boyfriend as 11 years ago too!) which is great. Even though the two of us are approaching this from the opposite ends (he F2M, me M2F) we clearly share somethings in common so I feel a bit stupid for not outing myself to him before now. It'll happen soon anyway I guess... I'll have to say "Look! I have boobs!" 

And then you will have a coffee

Quote from: Cindy on November 07, 2013, 06:18:40 AM
And then you will have a coffee

Yep sounds like fun.


--Jay

I know, right? So simple. We'd make an interesting couple at the cafe, Tom is under five foot tall and has a high pitched voice, I'm over six foot with a husky voice.

Tom has had the same boyfriend the whole way through, a wonderful guy who is even taller than me. Both him and Tom are super hairy and bearded, they make a great sight together. Tom's been very fortunate with lots of support from his guy and his family.

As I mentioned above, when Tom started T and went full time I was still struggling with the after effects of my first transition attempt. I say I was happy for Tom, it was clearly what he wanted and he was really enjoying his new life. At some level though I was skeptical, and at first I thought "wow, hope he doesn't regret that decision, beards are pretty hard to get rid of if he decides he doesn't want it; hope he doesn't have a mastectomy before he's 100% certain, there's no coming back from that." Sad attitude I know, but I never said it to him or any mutual friend; even though I was obviously framing his transition with my own experience I made sure I was openly supportive. Thing is, as each year passed and Tom really grew into his preferred gender it allowed me to reexamine my own past, in many ways Tom has helped to pave the way for where I am now... so we'll have a lot to talk about when we go for that coffee!

I have a friend who transitioned, she's over a year into HRT. I still didn't even realize I was trans* until a few months ago. It's strange how you can be around a solution so long, and still be blind. I even saw a transwoman present in college years ago, and I hadn't even acknowledged my problem back then. I had dressed privately back then, but it's weird to not realize the full extent.

Quote from: Grace_C on November 07, 2013, 12:20:47 PM
I know, right? So simple. We'd make an interesting couple at the cafe, Tom is under five foot tall and has a high pitched voice, I'm over six foot with a husky voice.

Tom has had the same boyfriend the whole way through, a wonderful guy who is even taller than me. Both him and Tom are super hairy and bearded, they make a great sight together. Tom's been very fortunate with lots of support from his guy and his family.

As I mentioned above, when Tom started T and went full time I was still struggling with the after effects of my first transition attempt. I say I was happy for Tom, it was clearly what he wanted and he was really enjoying his new life. At some level though I was skeptical, and at first I thought "wow, hope he doesn't regret that decision, beards are pretty hard to get rid of if he decides he doesn't want it; hope he doesn't have a mastectomy before he's 100% certain, there's no coming back from that." Sad attitude I know, but I never said it to him or any mutual friend; even though I was obviously framing his transition with my own experience I made sure I was openly supportive. Thing is, as each year passed and Tom really grew into his preferred gender it allowed me to reexamine my own past, in many ways Tom has helped to pave the way for where I am now... so we'll have a lot to talk about when we go for that coffee!

My gf is a trans woman. She's really tall and I am 5'1".  I have had mostly good experience in public with her, except that we are both less likely to be correctly gendered. I could learn from her attitude about it, except that I haven't yet. She always corrects people but she is always gracious.

--Jay

That is pretty cool Grace! It is funny how the universe works sometimes, at time it seem completely random and others it almost feels like it was calculated to be that way. I honestly wish I had a trans friend in real life. I know a few online, but it isn't the same. It be nice to be able to talk to someone one on one with.

Quote from: ChelseaAnn on November 07, 2013, 04:23:29 PM
I have a friend who transitioned, she's over a year into HRT. I still didn't even realize I was trans* until a few months ago. It's strange how you can be around a solution so long, and still be blind. I even saw a transwoman present in college years ago, and I hadn't even acknowledged my problem back then. I had dressed privately back then, but it's weird to not realize the full extent.

I know what you mean. I knew of a trans woman at uni but it was ultimately someone who transitioned from male to female at a hospital I once worked at that was my cattle prod. Apparently I was the trigger for a friend's father during my first transition attempt. I went to her wedding en femme, later her father said "that's how I feel too" and has since gone on to transition!

Quote from: aleon515 on November 07, 2013, 04:49:23 PM

My gf is a trans woman. She's really tall and I am 5'1".  I have had mostly good experience in public with her, except that we are both less likely to be correctly gendered. I could learn from her attitude about it, except that I haven't yet. She always corrects people but she is always gracious.

--Jay

You sound like a cute couple!

Quote from: Aina on November 08, 2013, 04:50:01 PM
That is pretty cool Grace! It is funny how the universe works sometimes, at time it seem completely random and others it almost feels like it was calculated to be that way. I honestly wish I had a trans friend in real life. I know a few online, but it isn't the same. It be nice to be able to talk to someone one on one with.

Are there any gender support groups in your area? Might be a way to meet some others?

Quote from: Ms Grace on November 08, 2013, 05:00:47 PM
I know what you mean. I knew of a trans woman at uni but it was ultimately someone who transitioned from male to female at a hospital I once worked at that was my cattle prod. Apparently I was the trigger for a friend's father during my first transition attempt. I went to her wedding en femme, later her father said "that's how I feel too" and has since gone on to transition!
You sound like a cute couple!
Are there any gender support groups in your area? Might be a way to meet some others?

I don't know, and I would be to scared to go. Since I am not out yet and busy with school well excuses, excuses. It really boils down to me having little confidence and being scared.