Are caveats spelunkable?

Thinking about when I watched the Hatfield vs McCoy rfeud on the History Channel.  I watched like 1 and a half out of the three days lol.  From what I saw, I think I'd like to be on team Hatfield!

I'm thinking life is pretty good, yea I've got a lot of electrolysis to go & lots of other hurdles however my SRS and a new wonderful life maybe next year.

Quote from: FrancisAnn on November 10, 2013, 08:18:52 AM
I'm thinking life is pretty good, yea I've got a lot of electrolysis to go & lots of other hurdles however my SRS and a new wonderful life maybe next year.

A positive outlook and clear sense of vision will carry you far Francis.

I find it commendable when a cisgender heterosexual spouse stays with their partner through their transitioning out of love.  I had to take a step back and put on some "what-if" lens.  What if my girlfriend told me she was transgender and that she wanted to get top and bottom surgery and take hormones and all the other stuff that goes with transitioning?  Just what if?  This may seem very hypocritical of me but I'd be devesated since I feel in love with a woman and all of the feminine things about that woman in particular.  I know for myself, even as a transman, I'd take it hard since I mostly consider myself a typical straight guy.  I would never condemn her/him.  Would I try to work through the relationship with them?  Perhaps.  It would take some time though, but I fear the relationship might just move into the friend zone and more of a bromance.

Part 2 of my feelings on this topic coming later as I have to get ready for church

Thank you, Malachite. You're right: It isn't easy. And it's helpful to hear people acknowledge some of the difficulties involved for the SO. Thanks :-)

Quote from: Malachite on November 10, 2013, 08:53:31 AM
I find it commendable when a cisgender heterosexual spouse stays with their partner through their transitioning out of love.

Quote from: LordKAT on November 09, 2013, 09:56:23 PM
Are caveats spelunkable?

While I commend the SO's that stick with their partner, I can understand the ones that don't. It can't be easy.

Quote from: LordKAT on November 10, 2013, 01:31:46 PM
While I commend the SO's that stick with their partner, I can understand the ones that don't. It can't be easy.

From my current perspective I don't think I would. I'd be her friend but the romance would be pretty much over.

Quote from: LordKAT on November 10, 2013, 01:31:46 PM
While I commend the SO's that stick with their partner, I can understand the ones that don't. It can't be easy.

If they are both predominantly givers it has a better chance, but if one is predominantly a taker, it's doomed to failure.

Quote from: Shantel on November 10, 2013, 01:50:20 PM
If they are both predominantly givers it has a better chance, but if one is predominantly a taker, it's doomed to failure.

Or sometimes, the SO thinks their trans spouse is really just crazy and confused and pretending to be trans.

Quote from: Malachite on November 10, 2013, 08:53:31 AM
I find it commendable when a cisgender heterosexual spouse stays with their partner through their transitioning out of love.  I had to take a step back and put on some "what-if" lens.  What if my girlfriend told me she was transgender and that she wanted to get top and bottom surgery and take hormones and all the other stuff that goes with transitioning?  Just what if?  This may seem very hypocritical of me but I'd be devesated since I feel in love with a woman and all of the feminine things about that woman in particular.  I know for myself, even as a transman, I'd take it hard since I mostly consider myself a typical straight guy.  I would never condemn her/him.  Would I try to work through the relationship with them?  Perhaps.  It would take some time though, but I fear the relationship might just move into the friend zone and more of a bromance.

Part 2 of my feelings on this topic coming later as I have to get ready for church

I can understand that. If someone I was dating turned out to be a trans man, I don't think I'd be able to handle it. I'm not exactly the most emotionally stable person, even more so now that I'm on E. No offense to you fellows, but I'm just not attracted to guys. I'd like to think we could still be friends, though.

Quote from: Kristal on November 10, 2013, 02:22:56 PM
I can understand that. If someone I was dating turned out to be a trans man, I don't think I'd be able to handle it. I'm not exactly the most emotionally stable person, even more so now that I'm on E. No offense to you fellows, but I'm just not attracted to guys. I'd like to think we could still be friends, though.

This is basically how I feel. If I were bi I'd like to think I'd be open to it, but, I don't like men and I wouldn't know how to relate to a man romantically.

I am thinking that there is a big difference between "support" and "sympathy."

"Support" means helping someone correct issues that are adversely affecting them.

On the other hand, "sympathy" tends to enable self-destructive behavior.  Looking constantly for sympathy is a ploy to avoid taking personal responsibility.  In the long run, sympathy undermines real support.

Telling a person to pull their head out of their rear end is often valuable advice.

Quote from: Jamie de la Rosa on November 10, 2013, 07:30:36 PM
I am thinking that there is a big difference between "support" and "sympathy."

"Support" means helping someone correct issues that are adversely affecting them.

On the other hand, "sympathy" tends to enable self-destructive behavior.  Looking constantly for sympathy is a ploy to avoid taking personal responsibility.  In the long run, sympathy undermines real support.

Telling a person to pull their head out of their rear end is often valuable advice.

True, but how valuable that advice really ends up being can depend a great deal on the approach to the advice giving. For example, public shaming usually isn't the best way to give said advice. 

On another note, the reason I actually came to this thread, it really bugs me seeing so many spelling and grammar mistakes on here, if only there was an editor position at Susan's....I suppose that could be offensive to some people....oh well.

Quote from: <3 on November 10, 2013, 07:52:08 PM
True, but how valuable that advice really ends up being can depend a great deal on the approach to the advice giving. For example, public shaming usually isn't the best way to give said advice. 

On another note, the reason I actually came to this thread, it really bugs me seeing so many spelling and grammar mistakes on here, if only there was an editor position at Susan's....I suppose that could be offensive to some people....oh well.

I agree.  I constantly have a problem with there, their, and they're.

As to advice, some people are not ... let's say ... receptive.  They would rather have a pity party.

I'm glad I'm not alone in this feeling.  More power to the S/O because honestly, I don't think I could do it if a female I loved transitioned to a man, the more I think about it, unless he was a VERY feminine male. I'm just trying to comprehend the thoughts of what one may go through, having to think about possibly redefining their own selves and attractions and if they are religious, reconciling their faith with their partner moving towards the same gender.

One thing is for sure, that whoever my partner might be, she will know I'm trans before we get married.

I am thinking about my indoor tomato plant. I brought it inside hoping to get some tomatos during the winter, but I think it might be dying. Maybe it's not getting enough life, or perhaps tomato plants are only supposed to live a few months?

Quote from: Liam Erik on November 10, 2013, 09:45:10 PM
Why does it say 'SepErate each tag by a comma' just above there when posting a reply?  Is that correct somewhere in the world?  Sometimes it gets a little annoying.

I never noticed that before. . . now it's going to stick out every time!  You might find this funny: Vatican Jesus Medal Recalled After Embarrassing Misspelling

Quote from: Jamie de la Rosa on November 10, 2013, 11:00:01 PM
Tags can help you search for you post later.  They are "keywords."

Seperate is not a word....that was the point

Yeah, there are lots of misspellings in the forum software