So, um, as you may have guessed, I'm Carter. I'm nineteen, currently in college, and I want to be a writer. You probably guessed that last one too.
I was born Emily Kathryn, but it never quite fit. I started telling my mom when I was about five that my name wasn't Emily, but it took a while for me to settle into something more gender-neutral and make sense of what I was looking for. I did keep the Kathryn, because it's after my grandma, who is my dearest friend and basically like a mother to me. I'm genderqueer and currently pre-everything. Hopefully not for too long, though. I don't know what I want to do hormones-wise (I'll have to talk to my doctor), but I definitely want top surgery ASAP. I'm good with any pronouns, though usually my preference is alternating.
I'm still trying to figure out this whole genderqueer thing. It doesn't help that I grew up in a really religious family and kept having books thrown at me called things like "Beautiful Girlhood" and something about how to "embrace my Biblical femininity." My mother had a hissy fit when I tried to wear anything from the men's department, and didn't let me research anything about gender, so I grew up thinking I was just a tomboy. It definitely took its toll on me mentally, and for years and years I hated my body and tried to placate myself by dieting, changing my hairstyle, and going through an endless succession of nicknames.
Everything kind of fell into place when I first learned that the gender binary wasn't my only option. All my feelings about myself and my body began to make sense. It's still something I'm figuring out, but I'm really excited to continue to do so.
Gosh, I hope this isn't too wordy or personal or...whatever. I'm super shy but I can't wait to meet y'all.
