The radio in the caf is playing Black Hole Sun, which was my depressive song in April when I found out about dad's affair and plans for divorce. It's not making me feel better at all.

Had a great chance to come out as transgender with a person I care about today. I could literally feel the opening /  invitation hanging in the air between us. I so wanted to - but pulled away. It was like I went from being six inches away from her to sixteen miles.

I know I need to be patient and kind to myself, blah blah blah. But I also need to take a few more risks. So bummed I didn't leap at the chance today.

Quote from: Just Gwynne! on November 11, 2013, 09:48:16 PM
From the looks of it, we've lost a handful of people, today. 

As unhappy as I about the petty infighting in the "Pass?" thread, I'm every bit as saddened by the departures it seems to have caused. Sorry to sound naive, but "Why can't we all just get along?" 

I agree Gwynne, it is sad.

3:49 AM, sleep hates me.

Quote from: learningtolive on November 11, 2013, 08:30:45 PM
Two things make me unhappy today.

1)  I can't get the nerve to come out to any of my co-workers.  Even though they all seem to know something is going on, I just can't seem to out myself.  There is one person that I'd like to tell, because I can't see her being mean about it, but it's just too hard.  I'm a coward.

2)  I have a Human Rights Campaign bumper sticker that I'd like to put on my car, but again, I'm too afraid that it will out me.  Despite all my support for the lgbt community and belief in equality for all, I can't even put on a damn bumper sticker because I'm that much of a coward.  For letting down my ideals, I'm angry and disappointed with myself.  Why do I have to be such a chicken?

#2... I just put one on. It was difficult for the same reasons you had. I did it in a grocery store parking lot... where nobody I knew would see me do it. Now it just looks like it's always been there, and LOTS of people have them. I used to see them all the time before I came out.

I'm still crying after Dexter's final episode, and I can't stop. I haven't cried this much over a work of fiction in my whole life. My eyes are damn red at this time, feeling worse than discussing with my family or the work depressions.


God, what I would give to get the writers with a nutcracker, declare it non-canon and force them to make a new final chapter. God damn estrogen.

My belly really hurts... Bad... Being stabbed would be less  pain...

I'm too upset right now to post anything or send messages.

Quote from: <3 on November 12, 2013, 11:02:06 AM
I'm too upset right now to post anything or send messages.

* Nudges <3 *

Here, have a cookie. The least we can do is to munch cookies while we wait for this to pass.

Quote from: <3 on November 12, 2013, 11:02:06 AM
I'm too upset right now to post anything or send messages.

Big hugs!  Somebody get some cocoa and kleenex, stat! Hugs, Devlyn

The fact a topic important to me and others got locked because of differing view points. Summer has started to me the worst season of the year. Christmas is not far away and I am going to struggle to get gifts for everyone this year due to funding issues. Oh and of course another Christmas alone...aside from family, but it isn't the same.

Quote from: EmeraldPerpugilliam on November 12, 2013, 11:34:47 AMThe fact a topic important to me and others got locked because of differing view points. Summer has started to me the worst season of the year. Christmas is not far away and I am going to struggle to get gifts for everyone this year due to funding issues. Oh and of course another Christmas alone...aside from family, but it isn't the same.

I could say the same but with winter. As magical as the light snow fell yesterday, it was the worst day yet in terms of my mood.

Quote from: EmeraldPerpugilliam on November 12, 2013, 11:34:47 AM
The fact a topic important to me and others got locked because of differing view points.

Hey hon,

If you're talking about this one, it will be re-opened after some time in the fridge to cool things down.

Quote from: FA on November 12, 2013, 11:41:18 AM
Hey hon,

If you're talking about this one, it will be re-opened after some time in the fridge to cool things down.

Brrrrr it's going to get cold, some of those girls in the fridge were scantily clad !   

Quote from: FA on November 12, 2013, 11:41:18 AM
Hey hon,

If you're talking about this one, it will be re-opened after some time in the fridge to cool things down.

But the current conversation will just resume, no?

Quote from: Xhianil on November 12, 2013, 10:47:59 AM
My belly really hurts... Bad... Being stabbed would be less  pain...

Time to see the doctor I think, can you get to one?

Thinking of the chance I may not be able to get Call of Duty: Ghost on Black Friday.....

OH GOSH THAT WOULD BE HORRIBLE!  That thought makes me unhappy. 

Quote from: LordKAT on November 12, 2013, 12:12:23 PM
Time to see the doctor I think, can you get to one?

no, besides, last time there was "nothing wrong."

Feeling lost again.  Like I don't know where I belong.  Just floating about in space.

That's what you get for talking to me!