Went out this evening with a friend, and I was deliberately presenting (mannerisms rather than physical appearance) as more feminine; my only feminine physical giveaway was a generic bracelet.  Had a wonderful time, really felt comfortable with myself.  I wasn't going all out trans; just more relaxed poses, sitting in a more feminine manner, smiling, talking, just being in a general good mood, and I doubt my companion even noticed.  I was dressed "normally" (for a "guy"), and the only thing that would have given me away was my posture.

But on the journey home, I noticed one man on the train looking at me.  A little creepy, and he didn't look long or too often, but I could tell that behind his occasional stare were feelings of hatred.  He really didn't like me being there.

And it was the first time that I've ever really felt unsafe.  I'm just an average "guy" and normally just blend into the background and attract no attention, so to have someone looking at me who seemed clearly uncomfortable in my presence was disconcerting.

Maybe I'm reading to much into this.  I doubt I was in any real danger because we were in a well-lit public area, not out late, with plenty of people around (although I perhaps wrongly assume that the general public would step in had things turned bad.).  My Spidey Sense was just telling me that this man was rather disgusted to be in the presence of someone who, to him, probably seemed a little gay.

Thought I'd share. I'm sure this is nothing to those of you who are far further down the pipeline than I am, but it was my first taste of the random hatred that trans people deal with and it left a rather bitter taste at the end of an otherwise-great evening.

Yea,

Sucks.  I wish it din't happen but it is something we have to watch out for.

Big HUGS!!

Jen

Whenever I am in the public transportation system, I always listen to the music (thus I dont hear anything and dont have to react) and I tend not to stare at other people. If I see that somebody may watch me more closely, I make a mental note not to look at them. Not that I would have any safety concerns, but its just that now my first preference is to avoid conflicts at all costs instead of reacting and possibly having to explain things to law enforcement people afterwards.

That was a good idea to notice him.These rats rarely attack on their own or in a public place so nothing to worry about,it would be a good move to take self defence classes

Yes. There are people who hate us (usually because they fear what our presence means for them).

OTOH, as a cis woman, you would still have to keep your eye out for the odd creep. Women, both cis and trans, need to be on the alert when in public.

Quote from: suzifrommd on November 13, 2013, 06:54:33 AM
Women, both cis and trans, need to be on the alert when in public.

I would rather say "when not in public".

Society loathes the feminine man. I was read as a ->-bleeped-<-got my whole life, when I started passing as a woman I felt SO much safer. Which is shocking as women are hardly safe in this world.