Spoken from my mom's mouth this evening, as if she was talking to someone else.

Went to visit with her and have dinner, and ended up spending most of the time there talking about my transition, how she's worried about my education and my future.  Even went so far as to ask who my partner would be.

She thinks I'm confused no matter how many times I re-affirm the fact that I am indeed a woman.  This hurts the most.

I know she's my mom, and I know she's concerned (and she has a right to be concerned too), but...damnit this is sooooo emotionally draining...

~Fae

gay?

Quote from: Katia on July 23, 2007, 12:17:12 AM
gay?

*nods* Yeah...I am definitely not gay.  Gay men, AFAIK like their masculinity...complete opposite of me. 

Quote from: Kiera on July 23, 2007, 11:35:07 AM
It sounds like your mother is at least "on the right track" anyway.

Give Her Time 

I'm trying Kiera, but it's just really frustrating and it really hurts.  My dad is slowly along the same track, he told me "You've been my son for 24 years and now you [me] want to be my daughter?"

He doesn't fully understand yet.  I know both my parents love me, but it really hurts that it's going to be a long journey and I just wanted to vent.  Thanks Kiera. *hugs*

~Fae

My parent still call me by my male name to. But I went to the local Napa auto part store (they all know me because I grew up here) and got som parts. I left and my dad walked in and they asked him about me and he told them I was now his daughter Mischa. I had to hear it from my mom because dad would never tell me he said that. He's Italian and old world. But that itself made me happy.

So hang in there hun. It only gets better as time progresses.

*big bear hugs*

~Mischa

Just hang in there. She will come around when she finally realizes. It maybe something very incedental about what you have done and things will click for her. You just never know. My mom was the same way. She did accept me, but deep down she could not understand. It wasn't until my mom, wife and myself were out shopping in her little N. California town, and we were eating lunch and the waitress called us ladies and did all the fem. nicknames. She looked at me and said you are a woman. Now, I was 55 at that time. She said that she just didn't see it, she only saw her son dressed funny. She told me that she understands now and that she can see me as her daughter. I have received two birthday cards from her, to her special daughter. It just takes time.
Sheila

Quote from: Kiera on July 23, 2007, 12:01:34 PM

Quote from: Fae on July 23, 2007, 11:44:29 AMHe doesn't fully understand yet.  I know both my parents love me . . .

Took you 24 years! They may never understand fully (how could they really?) but just knowing "they know" and "still love you" it seems the worst part is indeed behind you!

Leave it at that for now, don't ask for too much right now and I assure you it will probably only get better!

Happy For You

Thanks Kiera.  Yeah, I'm not trying to push anything on them right now, but it's going to take some time.  Yes it took 24 years to finally accept my gender issues, but I've been struggling with GID since about 12 yrs of age (when puberty hit) and I never told anyone until college because I was ashamed of what they would think. 

I'm glad that the worst is behind me.  To be honest I was expecting it to be a lot worse than it has been...

Quote from: Mischa on July 23, 2007, 04:00:59 PM
My parent still call me by my male name to. But I went to the local Napa auto part store (they all know me because I grew up here) and got som parts. I left and my dad walked in and they asked him about me and he told them I was now his daughter Mischa. I had to hear it from my mom because dad would never tell me he said that. He's Italian and old world. But that itself made me happy.

So hang in there hun. It only gets better as time progresses.

*big bear hugs*

~Mischa

Awwww...that give me a lot of hope Mischa, thanks *hugs back*

Quote from: Sheila on July 23, 2007, 04:18:51 PM
It wasn't until my mom, wife and myself were out shopping in her little N. California town, and we were eating lunch and the waitress called us ladies and did all the fem. nicknames. She looked at me and said you are a woman. Now, I was 55 at that time. She said that she just didn't see it, she only saw her son dressed funny. She told me that she understands now and that she can see me as her daughter. I have received two birthday cards from her, to her special daughter. It just takes time.
Sheila

*smiles* I can only hope my mom will see me as such in the future. 

~Fae

If I was a parent and my daughter or Son said I am a TS than I would have to support him or her in their transition. I know it would be hard to handle but you have to stick by your family.

I myself have my parents arguing who am more like my father or my Mom and I;m so surprised that they can't see it themselves that I am combo of both my mom and my dad.

My mother and I argued once or twice. Seeing how long I have been fulltime now and quite happy has made all of the difference in the world. We get along just as well as we did before transition.

Good luck and hopefully your mother will come around as well.

yea my mom's the same sort of...she keeps asking me if i'm gay...i just kind of laugh and say no...wish it were that easy lol

People thought I was gay at work years ago long before transition.......anyone who appears feminine gets the gay tag........

I suppose in theory it's true because many people transition and have male partners and technically by law and the church they are still male. But gay men are usually a different species altogether and seek out other men who look like men. Many partners of transsexuals are straight men and are attracted to femininity and women and are certainly not attracted to men in any way.

I have an understanding of where you come from. I came out to my parents around 5 years ago and that didn't go over very well with them.

Quote from: Berliegh on July 31, 2007, 05:14:12 AM
People thought I was gay at work years ago long before transition.......anyone who appears feminine gets the gay tag........

I suppose in theory it's true because many people transition and have male partners and technically by law and the church they are still male. But gay men are usually a different species altogether and seek out other men who look like men. Many partners of transsexuals are straight men and are attracted to femininity and women and are certainly not attracted to men in any way.

As I see it, gay men love and are attracted to masculinity - their own and others.  Not the case here...

~Fae

Yeah, The gay label . It's used so often when people don't understand someone being different than they are.
I even struggled with the thought that I might be gay, but then I realized that I wasn't attracted  to men.
When I was younger and hit this period of denial, I let my facial hair grow a bit to look more masculin. One day I decided that I was going to shave it off. The next day when I went to work, The first reaction from the guys I worked with, was " you look like you're queer, Come here and get on your knees"  as they pretended to unzip their flys.
Now the comments from the girls was somewhat different. Their comments were more like" You look kind of girlish, gee, I wish I had your curly hair" Also  So this just goes to show how sexes look a you differently and put a label on you.

Not long ago there was a documentary on the movie channel called "Being Gay in the Seventies" I watched with interest as all these gay men talked about their life style. Now, having watched this film, there is absolutly nothing that we have in common with these people that could give someone the impression that we are gay.
Yes! They are very attracted to masculinity because most of them looked more masculin than I ever did or do.  

hehe, yeah, i got the gay tag at work, though i came out after 4 months of hrt, so i think they were starting to guess
it was serious lols when they were all (especially the yardy boy chef (who thinks hes 50cent)) 'heh, your not gay, oh good'
to be honest, femmy gay boy, and not out ts girl are close at times.... bits of makeup, nailpolish etc dont help, plus people associate 'drag' with gay men... and assume ts is serious drag. i still beat the crap out of the yardy when he calls me battygirl...

hehe, he cant call me a battyboy, because i look nothing like one, but he still tries to make the comment.... im apparently a headf*uck...

I thought battygirl was a guy who played cricket who was a "switch hitter"  (the jokes probably too subtle).

Battyboy?Battygirl?                                                                           I understand that Batty in our language  means Crazy or Eccentric, but put the Girl or Boy behind it I'm not so sure it means the same thing.

battyboy is a yardie slang term for gay person in this fine kingdom... init.


R

Quote from: morticia on August 01, 2007, 04:07:37 AM
I was washing dishes the other night and I was standing there in just my nighties and I was sort of day dreaming that some guy was coming up from behind and snuggling up to me while I was fixing dinner.  Wow!  I never had thoughts like that before.

I often daydream like that also, though more often than not I imagine another woman coming up from behind me.

Quote from: morticia on August 01, 2007, 04:07:37 AMAnyway, I don't see myself doing it (sex) before SRS though but it's nice to think about.  Never the less, I still don't like men.
I mean I don't like being around them because I can't relate to them.  I think they are crude barbarians
and most of them are usually disrespectful towards women.  There are some rare exceptions though.

I am becoming less and less attracted to men.  As much as part of me would like to end up with a really sexy hunk who would love me and take care of me and treat me like a Goddess (yeah, that's gonna happen)...

I'm pretty much a lesbian.

~Fae