Wondering if I'll ever find a name that suits me well enough. The ones I tend to like don't really fit, and most are male and I don't necessarily want something male, but it's hard to find androgynous names I identify with. It seems I haven't much of a name at all these days, which I'm fine with, but you can't change your name to nothing.
In league with that, I find that I've almost stopped hearing my own name - possibly others', but I haven't been too observant - when it's spoken to me. This I take to mean that the names I'm called have ceased being important enough to identify with, as I suppose they should be.
It makes me wonder for binding contracts that require the use of a legal name - the idea is that, sure, it's legally binding, but there's no more importance to that if the name isn't right and the person doesn't find any identity in it; it isn't binding on a personal or even emotional level. At least to me, once the name is written, everything else seems like a lie.
*Sigh* I also ramble too much. Far too much. I need to orchestrate my thoughts, or else open up a Word page and type a novel about all of these little tangents I go on.
