I think I would go with the androgynous look too. Some months ago I have been in a similar situation: I went to a wedding party with friends who all knew me still as a girl. I never really thought about a dress, because I don't have any and really would not feel like wearing one. I eventually chose black trousers, white shirt and a female jacket (obviously no tie). Yes, it was unmistakably female, but at least it looked a bit androgynous. And, most important part, I could feel almost comfortable wearing that. I think you should try something like that: female clothes that are elegant but not overly feminine, and look as much as they can as male elegant clothes.
