Hi there, my son told me was mtf last year and has a small amount of counselling and I am worried (obviously) but I also feel he may have a mild form of aspergers and I am more terrified of him going ahead with all the irreversible treatment and then realising it was yet another one of his intense obsessions. 

If this is how she really needs to live her life then I will have to accept it and try my best to support her (even though we both don't know what we are doing but hopefully will work it out together!) and then hopefully she will live a happy life

please help - have any other parents any ideas?

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I realise this is a very difficult time for you and your daughter, there are lots of things to try and understand. In a clinic that I am loosely associated with there are several clients with asperger's  presenting with gender dysphoria.

I don't know where you are but you both need the help of a qualified and experienced gender therapist. In your circumstances may I suggest a psychiatrist with broad experience in gender dysphoria as there will be a need to understand if there are other co-morbidities. May I also suggest that seeing people who do not have experience in gender dysphoria may be a negative experience for all concerned.

One thing that I am aware of is the worry that parents have about how being transgender may affect their child's future. Any loving parent wants the best for their child and you obviously fit that category!

I'm transgender, I'm a Professor, I'm successful and I have a very happy and full life. There is no reason that your daughter cannot have the same.

My Love to you both

Cindy

I got misdiagnosed with it in early childhood, i used to have outbursts over stuff that was male cause even back then i was trying to hide, the earliest one was in kindergarten, i had a deck of yugeo (thats not spelled right) as did every male, one day mine got taken away and i melted down completely.

I wrote a compilation of ideas.

However, it would be better to diagnose for autism first?

ASD is a brutal condition to have.

I am not a specialist, so take my words in that light.

I have heard of a study saying that the rate of those with autism and Aspergers that have gender dysphoria is greater than in the general population.  Aspergers is something I am personally familiar with in those I love, though the people close to me are quite "high functioning."  From my lay reading of science research, exposure to various hormones in the womb during critical times of fetal development, are suspected, though not proven, factors in both the development of ASD and ->-bleeped-<-.  My lay opinion is that I wouldn't be surprised if their increased rates had more to do with this, than with anything like people becoming confused that they are transgender because of a misplaced intense obsession.  From my experience with both the Aspergers and transgender loved ones I have in my life, it just seems like this is not likely.  It may be likely that if someone is transgender and also Aspergers, that they may become more intensely obsessed with their transition going "just right."  This could make it harder on them, possibly, without proper support.  A professional councilor who specializes in and has plenty of experience with gender dysphoria in general, and more specifically those with both Aspergers and gender dysphoria, would be ideal in helping you both.  Do research and see if you can get people to recommend or get you in contact with a therapist that has such experience, even if they are outside your area.  You want to talk to such an expert, and then they can help you know what to look for in finding the right help for your child in your area.  Try to get recommendations from within the trans* community.  Maybe even Cindy could get you in touch with the clinic she mentions, and they might be able to help direct you?

But please heed Cindy's warning about finding the right therapist.  There are plenty without the proper understanding of gender dysphoria that can (and often do) more harm than good.  If anyone tries to invalidate your child's proclaimed gender identity by saying it is caused by something else, like Aspergers, I would be very cautious and seek the opinion of another specialist with broad experience with gender dysphoria.  There has been a long history of transgender individuals having their identity invalidated and pathologized, and it is very harmful for a transgender individual to go through that.

On a personal note, I am so happy to see you, a mother, advocating like you are for your child.  Your love and determination to find the help you both need will be such a gift in your child's life. 

Keep us updated on your journey, and please feel fee to continue to ask questions and seek help from the people in this community, and help others by sharing your experience.  We gain so much from having this support from one another.

Hugs,

Felice