Hello ladies! 
  I am far from new to your world, but for the first time in many years I decided to include myself instead of only reading.  Here's a little info about me

I posted in this section because HRT is my first step towards transition.  As I work my way into each area of transition I will post in that appropriate section.

I'm in my early 30s and I've always been fascinated with the female body.  I have always had the desire to be feminine since I was young.  Instead of looking at toys when my mom went to target I would sneak into the ladies shoe section and try on various heels.  What a rush! Lol. As I grew older, the desires evolved.  I remember once when I was 17, my parents left me home alone while they went  of town.  They gave me money to have fun and the house was full of food.   So I used the money for something fun.... I bought a sports bra and got my nails done... Full French tips. I don't remember my excuse and reasoning but I managed to pull it off without too much awkward questions.   That was a week I will never forget.   Except the part my mom "caught me" having a girl over when she spotted the sports bra.   Fun memories.   Into my adult life I explored with hormones.   I self medicated for a month or two 2-3 different times since turning 21.  The most recent.... It occurred to me.   This is what I want ... Up to and including that time I had actually developed maybe a AA cup... Which was surprising.  And finally this last week I made the decision to push forward.  I don't need therapy.  Not yet at least.  I found a clinic that does informed consent hrt and had my first appointment yesterday.  It was the best feeling in the world coming forward and being honest and open with someone.  And by the end of our conversation we agreed that transition to a female was in my future.   And today I got lab work done and next week we will go over lab work and begin Spiro.   Wait a few weeks and do lab work again and incorporate estrogen.    Oh my goodness!   I don't believe it.  I am beyond ready and look forward to the progress and challenges in becoming Jordan.  I was so excited, I hardly slept at all last night. 

Hi Jordan,

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Janet  )O(

Thank you for the welcome.  It has been a very intense couple of days.  Amazing though.  Easily related to jumping in a cold swimming pool.  You touch the water... Get a feel for what its like... Anxiety builds.  You know you will be fine, but jumping in is so darn hard to do.... Finally you just do it, you jump in and then realize it wasn't as bad as you thought.... You quickly adjust to the water and forget it was even cold.    That's exactly how I feel. 2 days ago I was scared to transition.  Afraid of the reactions.   Afraid of judgment.   But I confronted the fear head on and now.... I'm so motivated and readu .  I don't care what anyone thinks, this is my life and what I want to do. And admitting that and being confident about it is just so.... Liberating!!!   Next appointment is the 2nd.  If labs came back I'll get a Spiro script.   

One question, some people say that Spiro only for more than a few weeks causes depression and such. Is this true? She mentioned starting Spiro first for a month or so then adding estrogen.   Is a month too long? Should I ask to start sooner? Or is a month a good amount of time to bring down testosterone and prepare for estrogen? When I self medicated I jumped right in, I know that is bad (and why I'm doing it the correct way now) but everything felt right and I noticed changes for sure!

Hi Jordan,

My apologies for not greeting you sooner.

Spiro has few side effects on depression, cyproterone acetate, Androcur, is the problem AA for that.

Spiro will reduce T quickly and E will then help feminize you. A month is fine. I in fact did it the other way around, but every endo has their own schedule.

Spiro reduces blood pressure and is a diuretic. Let your Doc know if you have dizzy spells, particularly on standing up or 'feeling cold' and keep a glass of water handy next to your bed!

Yes, Spiro is the safe alternative when it comes to depression. I'm taking androcur, and the instructions say "Do not take if you suffer from unipolar depression". Fortunately I haven't experienced any depression yet, only indigestion and mild queasiness.

When I started I was instructed to first start with androcur and wait a week before starting with estradiol (I could only wait two days). The reason she gave me was that it's easier to know what causes any possible side effects if you don't start with both at the same time.