I've recently admitted to myself that I'm bi, men are where most of my attraction is but there is some women I'm attracted too not as much as men I'll admit. I will say a lot of men scare me so that may be leading me to think about women more for a relationship. But that's not to say I would just be in a relationship with a woman just because my fear of men. If I do end up with a woman or a man it's because I love that person for who they are and not their gender.

Yeah, Definately. I've been on this site on and off for almost 10 yrs now, and I've seen it alot. It's been hard for me to understand at first, as that is not the case with me, but a good amount of them are. I'm not sure why, but I would guess they would feel more comfortable with other women and have this certain fear or turn off from men from the lives they have lived. Of course, sexuality is naturally different depending on the individual. It all depends.

I really hate admitting it but I've been thinking about men way more than women lately. It's like, I liked women more as a 'guy', but it made more sense then. As a woman, I just.. don't really know how to be a lesbian lol. I think I'd have to have a very dommy woman as a partner for me to be as interested. I mean I've been with one already, but it was a bit awkward and didn't quite work. She was short, I'm tall, and at the time presenting as male even though she usually regarded me as female. So maybe it'd be different going full-time. But I just don't even know lol. Being with a guy though seems a lot more realistic and 'easier' to me, despite my lack of experience with them. If only for the dominance factor.

And as an odd side-note, I've discovered that my sex-drive is probably more cis-female now. xD I now have elaborate fantasies which start well before the sex parts! I've even thought of writing erotica as a release, now that my penis is pretty much dead lol.

"I would say I'm probably also somewhat autogynephilic ('love of oneself as a woman'). I'm attracted to my own image as a women. But I think that might be common for cisgender women as well. But I do not have paraphillia."

The whole concept behind Blanchard's discredited theory is that we (those of us who are MAAB) exhibit "a man's paraphilic tendency to be sexually aroused by the thought or image of himself as a woman."  In other words, we are mentally disturbed - a "transvestic fetishism disorder."

I disagree.  I think I would be mentally disturbed of I was not aroused at the idea of being in the right body.  Most humans like sex - it is part of our billion year sexual evolutionary history.  I was never a gay man, but rather bi-.  I have had many a fantasy of getting my fantastical vagina filled with pulsating, rigid manhood.  (Cool down, girl!).  That doesn't make me crazy.

Blanchard can take that and shove it up his ... whatever.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on November 24, 2013, 06:35:27 PM
In the largest study of transsexuals and sexual identity (over 3,000 trans women), 66 percent, or two-thirds, identified as lesbian. So, it seems it is much more common than trans women who like men. But maybe I just like to be rare like a diamond. But anecdotally it certainly is true.

That matches the other study I referenced. And I've read that in more than one place. 

Either way it doesn't matter, and one is not better or worse than the other.
What ever gender you were attracted to since that age where you have such interest, that's probably who you will be attracted to. And since straight people outnumber gay people it makes sense that trans lesbians would be more common too.

We are all pretty rare though.

well I stand corrected. But I think I did read straight trans women don't like to idetify as queer. But I do so who knows how true that is. I idetify as queer much more than trans. I am really turned off by trans politics. That I have some obligation to anyone other then myself and my new found happyness.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on November 24, 2013, 11:10:18 PM
well I stand corrected. But I think I did read straight trans women don't like to idetify as queer. But I do so who knows how true that is. I idetify as queer much more than trans. I am really turned off by trans politics. That I have some obligation to anyone other then myself and my new found happyness.

I got to admit even though I like men most of the time it never felt right when people called me straight. But after I admitted to myself hey I am attracted to women too and came out as bi to myself I finally found something I'm comfortable with but I still identify myself a woman first I could care less about all the other labels.

I like the non label totally woman idea.

Let's just remember that gender and sexual attraction are two different things.

I think if a male went through gender reassignment just to have sex with men, then that's probably very different from most people who had gender dysphoria since they were little before you were sexual.

Seems like a stupid thing to do if it's just for sex IMO. Do people do this? That's what I've heard.

My decision to transition has absolutely nothing to do with sex. It has to do with me. I like sex a lot, but that's not the motivation at all.

The sexual orientation thing does get tricky. If you were male and attracted to guys you are called gay. But after you transition you are straight? Or like me, I was "straight" but after SRS I'll be gay? Makes your head hurt! lol

Labels are stupid.

Sorry, all this talk about stats and labels and categories and whatnot is all a bit "eh, whatever" to me. I consider myself a sexual human, if I can actually get myself into a loving relationship with another sexual human then I will be very, very happy.

One thing I never see much discussion of is transgender attraction to other trans* people. I know it happens, whether it be m2f & f2m, m2f & m2f, or f2m & f2m. I saw the most gorgeous trans woman in my endo's waiting room a little while back and was smitten. The whole idea of a m2f & m2f relationship spun my head at the time but that's when it came down to me realising that we love who we love, labels be damned!

Eh, there are plenty of bisexual and lesbians in the cis community.  It doesn't shock me that there is a large presence of that in our community, especially considering the fact that we were socialized differently and subjected to the wrong hormones for a good portion of our lives.  And what about lesbians and gay people in the cis community?  Why are they any different to gay trans people?  I'm straight and have known about my identity since I was young, but I don't think that makes me any more trannsexual than those who are gay and/or discovered their identity later in life.  Even though my experience does differ greatly from some other people here, that doesn't make me more or less trans than they are.  I just hate the term true trannsexual. 

Having said all that, I'm sure there are transpeople that happen to be  ->-bleeped-<-cs, but I don't think it's fair to say the majority are without really knowing what's in their head. 

Quote from: Ms Grace on December 07, 2013, 01:41:14 PM
Sorry, all this talk about stats and labels and categories and whatnot is all a bit "eh, whatever" to me. I consider myself a sexual human, if I can actually get myself into a loving relationship with another sexual human then I will be very, very happy.

One thing I never see much discussion of is transgender attraction to other trans* people. I know it happens, whether it be m2f & f2m, m2f & m2f, or f2m & f2m. I saw the most gorgeous trans woman in my endo's waiting room a little while back and was smitten. The whole idea of a m2f & m2f relationship spun my head at the time but that's when it came down to me realising that we love who we love, labels be damned!

When you consider that transgendered person comprise just 0.3% of the population (1 in every 333 people), the odds are not in our favor.  But we have several TG/TS couples here and it is too cute.  Having someone who really understands you is a wonderful thing.

Just a reminder, but the subject of "autogynophilia" is generally off limits on this site.  The reason being, it has caused many a battle and hurt feelings.

Quote from: Jamie D on December 07, 2013, 02:03:14 PM
Just a reminder, but the subject of "autogynophilia" is generally off limits on this site.  The reason being, it has caused many a battle and hurt feelings.

I'll second and reinforce this. ->-bleeped-<- is not a welcome topic here. Perhaps those interested should take it to private message. 

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Sarah7 on December 07, 2013, 01:13:36 PM
And all the people who are bisexual are...? I always find theories that discount over a third of the population a bit suspect.

That said... I've always known what I am. I have no memory of not-knowing, no memory of realization. My dysphoria is also among the nastier varieties. I have three pretty serious suicide attempts and nearly a decade of self-harm--my forearms are coated in old scars. I also never crossdressed or had any interest in doing so. And thinking of myself with the correct body made me suicidally depressed--about as far from aroused as it's possible to get.

And my pre-transition form? I was a fragile queer-looking fey boy. From when I was 10 everyone assumed I was gay. I have big eyes and lips, a slight frame, female proportions and my voice didn't drop. I regularly passed as female accidentally pre-transition. And I lost the capacity to pass as male after 6 months on HRT.

By all accounts I should be a "homosexual transsexual" (what you are calling a "true transsexual") right? Only I'm exclusively attracted to females, and always have been.

In order for your theory to work, you need to classify me as an anomaly and discard me from the results. But that is bad science. Yes, I think some folks can sometimes confuse sexuality and gender. Maybe it even happens more regularly among trans women attracted to women or trans men attracted to men. I don't know, you'd want some research.

I'm really glad you came to an understanding of how things work for you. That's fantastic! But there is no need to try to extrapolate that outwards to explain every single trans person. We are quite a diverse bunch, with different identities, desires, needs and ways of expression those. And thankfully, Blanchard's theory no longer holds much weight in the medical community. Otherwise transitioning for an anomaly like me would have been very, very difficult.

I'm very similar to you. Was small framed, easily mistaken for a female when I was younger, and often mistaken for being gay. I wouldn't say I was a "fragile queer-looking fey boy", but I'm small and not very masculine. But I'm also not overly effeminate the way some gay men are. But that's like a stereotype of a women. Even my ex wife has said I reminded her more of a woman. She was also very upset that I might be gay (as in liking men) thinking our marriage was a farce. Which it wasn't.

I was a transsexual since the age of 4 or so, so as I said in my last post it has nothing to do with sex. I am absolutely autogynophelic. But as I said in an earlier post, while I'm attracted to my own image as a woman, but its not paraphillia, because it's not about dressing that way. But I think this is normal. Straight cis females like looking at other women, you can see that in women's magazines. And everyone likes looking pretty.

I'm also exclusively attracted to women. But to me that has nothing to do with me self identifying as a woman. Just because you are a woman doesn't mean you want/have to sleep with men. It's interesting that many MtF's are attracted to women, but if you think about it, there are more hetero people than gay, so if you take a sampling of them to pick out trans people, you will have a higher incidence of former males attracted to females (and vice versa). And that's because being trans doesn't have much to do with being gay or straight.

We are unique in that we are a mix of both male and female. While I have always felt female, and related to females, and have female mannerisms, but i grew up as a male, with male hormones, etc.

I find it all very fascinating. And complicated. But in the end we are who we are, and that's OK.

Quote from: jussmoi4nao on December 07, 2013, 03:12:59 PM
Okayy, i deleted my posts cuz im not really in the frame of mind to deal with drama, and i ask that anyone who quoted me do the same.

sorry if i offended anyone but anyone who knows me knows i think everyone is fab in their own beautiful and unique way, so my intent is not to offend.

with that ima take a break from this site cuz im wayy too volatile atm for the delicate atmosphere, sooo seeya guys.

You didn't offend me. I thought it was a good post. I don't know why the topic would offend anyone. It's just part of being human. I think everyone likes looking at themselves, right? I'm just being honest.

By the way, you are cute as a button.

I think this is a major factor.  While early transitioners are more often androphyllic, late transitioners are more often gynephyllic.

I don't think many cis lesbians are interesed in MTF transsexuals, but hetero cis-women can often be "turned".

My wife was once worried that I would either be attracted to men, or that I would not be able to meet her needs once PIV sex ended.

Both of those were unfounded.  I can satisfy her sexually and I don't like men.  Furthermore she finds my feminized body attractive and seems to enjoy sucking on my breasts as well as what's left of my penis.   From my experience, at least, women are more flexible in their sexuality.  Actually I think that once they have been shown that you can satisfy them sexually, they care less about your physical configuration.
   
Randi

Quote from: Sophia Hawke on November 24, 2013, 07:34:22 PM
Could a large part of this be, many of us were attracted to women for so long before transition that it continued.  Or? People in relationships with women who stayed together after transition?   And were all of them post transition or on HRT.  Ive heard people say their preference flips with hormones.

Actually, it's not about delicate mindsets, it's a site policy. If you wish special dispensation to discuss it, susan@susans.org is your best bet. Hugs, Devlyn

I am 100% sexually attracted to men & have always felt that way. I have lots of very close women friends & we may shop together or have our nails done together or cook etc... however my only interest in the bedroom is with a man.

I'm very hopeful to completely all facial electrolysis, allow HRT to help with changes. have my SRS maybe next fall & after healing up live one normal life a normal woman. I will continue to have very good women friends however I desire to date men as a normal woman & simply enjoy sex with a man. I so hope my vagina can be deep enough & that perhaps I can climax. That would be great.

Good luck to all GF with your life plan.

Quote from: jussmoi4nao on December 07, 2013, 03:44:20 PM
Welll, like I said I just think everybody is beatiful and I love everybody for who they are, and I try not to judge different motivations but at the same time recognize the differences, and just look at it and say we all are who we are. I wasnt trying to say I or anyone else is better than anyone else, and I'm sorry if that was the interpretation. Honestly, the way I see it is if what you want or how you want to express yourself isn't hurting anyone, its nobodys place to judge or say you can't.

But anywayy yeahh you're right this is a support site, and I realize everyone on here is getting enough negativity from everywhere else that they need ONE place they won't feel judged, and I'm at a place atm where like I said I'm really volatile soo it's prolly best for the sake of those in delicate mindsets I take a break.

And ravenmoon, aww thnxx you're too sweet!

Jussmoi4nao,

You and I seem to be on opposite ends of the FTM spectrum.  Your cute, I'm not, your young, I'm old  blah, blah.  We are going through the same process and facing the same problems.  We can and should help each other.  I'm never above listening.

We are stronger because of our diversity.  You are welcome here.

Hugs,

Jen