I understand were your coming from. Before I started out, I researched the hell out of everything and wanted to know exactly how this would unfold.

While you can get a good general idea of what to expect and what you need to do, like the rest of life, transition (and especially HRT) is full of surprises.

The great thing is, i showed my aunt (closest family member) Carmen Carrera and said "look how beautiful she is!" She LOVESSSS Rupauls Drag race. I (just testing the waters) said to her, "i could probably do what she does." My aunt replied saying, you probably could, you have a pretty face with feminine qualities, you would be a pretty girl or a very handsome boy. I then proceeded to tell her that I have been thinking about it for a long time, much more in depth the last few days. She said "Now i can make fun of you when you trip in heels!" It was such a relief to have her joke around with it, rather than getting the cold shoulder. I explained to her that if i do this, i would be going ALL the way. I would get FFS, along with SRS and BA. She said "Don't get bigger tits than me or i will be pissed." I explained to my best friend my thoughts on it and she was totally cool with it and assumed i would veer that way, due to the lack of mannerisms i have. It has been an easy road so far, but I've not really even started the transition.

that was my fear for a long time but I needed to fix myself.

I think if you have just started to come out to yourself some days ago, you should for now really explore yourself - get your feelings and emotions up and see what it is that you need. Trasnitioning can be fun if it is the right thing but it also is really hard and can not fulfil all the dreams. Look at your self and at whyt it is that makes you want this and what it is that you expect and desire. What would be different after Transitioning that you really feel you need? Do you need to be seen as a woman by others and be treated like a woman? Do womanly things? Have a female body? Get rid of the "thing downstairs"? Think about what you really want about transition and then think if this can only be reached by transitioning or if transitioning would make it easier to rech that what you want. Explore yourself and your feelings and desires and needs and motivations . Then maybe experiment with some stuff - simulate body or role and visual changes - maybe even "go out" - test various things and see how you are doing with these things emotionally.
If your self exploration tells you this is probably the only way to go, visit a gender experienced therapist.

Quote from: anjaq on November 24, 2013, 07:33:30 PM
I think if you have just started to come out to yourself some days ago, you should for now really explore yourself - get your feelings and emotions up and see what it is that you need. Trasnitioning can be fun if it is the right thing but it also is really hard and can not fulfil all the dreams. Look at your self and at whyt it is that makes you want this and what it is that you expect and desire. What would be different after Transitioning that you really feel you need? Do you need to be seen as a woman by others and be treated like a woman? Do womanly things? Have a female body? Get rid of the "thing downstairs"? Think about what you really want about transition and then think if this can only be reached by transitioning or if transitioning would make it easier to rech that what you want. Explore yourself and your feelings and desires and needs and motivations . Then maybe experiment with some stuff - simulate body or role and visual changes - maybe even "go out" - test various things and see how you are doing with these things emotionally.
If your self exploration tells you this is probably the only way to go, visit a gender experienced therapist.

I mean i have known for a long time that i would much rather be a girl, treated like a girl, go shopping like a girl, you name it. I've been out of the closet as gay since i was a junior in high school (16 years old, i'm now 21). But i've been considering a sex change, just never knew that so many people have already done it. Which it's nice ot read about experiences and people being happy the way i want to be happy.

Quote from: CuriousAboutLife on November 24, 2013, 07:37:52 PM
I mean i have known for a long time that i would much rather be a girl, treated like a girl, go shopping like a girl, you name it. I've been out of the closet as gay since i was a junior in high school (16 years old, i'm now 21). But i've been considering a sex change, just never knew that so many people have already done it. Which it's nice ot read about experiences and people being happy the way i want to be happy.

That's like me, though I came out as gay at 12. I found out a sex change was possible at around 16 and have been flirting with the idea ever since. But one thing I will say, which I think other ladies here are trying to get at, is this isn't a race.

Make sure you take the time to really explore. I know from experience. About a year ago I was pretty much EXACTLY where you are. I came out as trans to my parents, and my closest friends, I got my letter for HRT, it was all systems go. I was excited and sprinting towards transition.

Then since I didn't take the time to get to know myself and explore why I REALLY wanted to do this and the consequences/reality of it, when it got to the point where my HRT appointment neared, I freaked out, didn't go, and sorta half-receded into the closet for almost another year.

Now here I am, with my appointments once again set up to start HRT but this time is so different. I took that time to explore my options and myself. I also took the time to come to terms with what this means for the rest of my life and the real possible consequences of doing this. For you as well, being attracted to men as I am (yay soon to be FORMER gay boys! :-P), the fact that being with the wrong guy, or disclosing at the wrong time that you were born male, could mean the worst.

I was so euphoric when I first came to terms with being trans about a year ago, and my super easy coming out to my family and close friends heightened that sense that this is easy and there will be no consequences, that I didn't take the time to deal with any of these things and it led to a freak out as things got real and another year back in the closet.

Now this is not to say you haven't dealt with these things, but it's just to say, be careful and make sure you have. I see a lot of myself circa 2012 in how you're talking about this, and better you take a step back if you need to and explore than sprint towards the finish line.

Hi Curious,

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Welcome to Susans! We have people come to visit us from all over the world, expressing different points of view, and you are likely to find someone to help you along your way Here are some important links and things to ponder as you begin your journey here.

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Your questions are all normal and relevant. To start the process you need to consult a gender therapist who will go through your history, your problems and your expectations. Then if you have no co-morbidities you may be offered hormonal reassignment with the expectation that you will start to live full time as your chosen gender. The standards of care we are treated under are in the wiki or go to www.wpath.org and read SOVC version 7. That will be how you are treated.

Yes you will be required to dress and be a female in real life. If you desire surgery this requirement is for a minimum of a year. You are then reassessed if you wish to proceed to surgery.

On HRT you will become sterile and probably lose the ability to have a penile erection. You will develop breasts and you will undergo skin softening. You will require laser and maybe electrolysis to remove facial hair. Many of us undergo mental changes on HRT and become more feminine in outlook. We also need to 'learn' how to be women in our society with the risks that involves.

You will need to change your official documents to reflect your status. You will be, hopefully be a normal woman, whatever that means.

I will caution you that there are woman of all parts of the spectrum here and all are welcome and equal on this site. Some have had GRS, FFS, tracheal shaves and voice surgery etc others have not. All are equal. Some are content to 'cross-dress' and they are perfectly normal and welcome. Some like I am a normal woman in society who is accepted and respected as such. I am no more or no less of a woman than any of my sisters.

Welcome to the site and I hope your journey is a good one.

Cindy

This is not an easy journey for any of us. There is discrimination and intolerance, there is also love and acceptance.

Quote from: CuriousAboutLife on November 24, 2013, 07:37:52 PM
I mean i have known for a long time that i would much rather be a girl, treated like a girl, go shopping like a girl, you name it. I've been out of the closet as gay since i was a junior in high school (16 years old, i'm now 21). But i've been considering a sex change, just never knew that so many people have already done it. Which it's nice ot read about experiences and people being happy the way i want to be happy.

Hi. I dont want to be a downer, but please really consider this carefully and explore your motivations. A lot about the whole "sex change" is about physical changes. But basically there are two main motivators that are noticeable. One is the social and the other is the physical component. The social one is about gender roles - going shopping, doing your hair, chatting with girls, dressing up, being "treated like a girl", cry, being with a boyfriend... etc - the other component is about the body, the need to feel breasts, a female body, female genitals, a female face in the mirror and all of it. In most, one of these two aspects is dominant. To explore this for yourself, imagine you are living in a society where there are no gender roles - men as well as women are totally normal if they do all these deminine or masculine things, playing with dolls or trucks, going shopping at the shoe store or the hardware store etc, there is a free choice of who to have sex with genderwise and no homophobia. They still are having male and femal bodies though. Would you be ok in such a society or would you still suffer and want to change your body? This thought experiment may give you a clue about what it is that you expect from transitioning, if it is more the social/gender role aspect or more the physical aspect and then set your priorities accordingly.
And the second word of caution is that tranistion is not perfect - a lot can go wrong, not much will be perfect, it is painful and can lead to a lot of hardship, there are complications involved in the surgeries - it is not something that should be taken lightly. It may seem nowadays that it is a walk in the park as so many are doing it and some articles, media or websites make it seem so easy and well defined. It is not. You should make sure that you want to go through all of this and think about how it will be in 10 or 20 years - if you will still be happy about this, if you could not be happy without this.

I dont want to sound too negative her enow, just cauteous - If you do find out that this is something you really NEED to do, there is plenty of support to go through with it and you would not be alone.

Greetings
A.

My motto (and it definitely applies with transition) is prepare for the worst, hope for the best, and expect anything in between.

You may or may not need FFS. You may come to the realization that SRS isn't for you. The financial aspect is tough - but things may or may not fall into place to get clothes, hair removal, HRT, FFS, SRS etc.

I will say this - being treated as a female is very different. It feels good, but sometimes it sucks how much crap women get. You'll go from an abrupt jerk-world of male dominance where men don't give a crap about your feelings and say the most blunt, mean crap without a care; to an underhanded sneaky "what is she planning" kind of world where women will take you down before you know it.

It's just a different life, it really is. Some good, some bad. The only reason I wouldn't go back is that I am me, and that feels better than the bull crap women go through every day.