I understand this is a loaded question and everyone's answer is different but:

How do you really know when you fit into the world you want to be accepted in?

For me, I like to live a conservative lifestyle and I identify as straight. Yes, I know I'll always be transgender and I'm not ashamed of it, but generally, this is how I want the public to see me.

That being said, I always told myself, I know I fit in when I get my first job after being fulltime. That happened TODAY ! I guess I painted this image in my mind that if a group of department heads saw me as the woman I was and saw me for my qualifications and not someone who was a "liability," then I would know I made it.

So now what ... I still kind of feel the same. I mean, I don't know if this is me the perfectionist being hard on myself, or if there's a point of maturity when I'll just accept it but although I'm happy, today didn't really seem as great as I figured.

Insight? What about you?

You will know you have succeeded in your transition when you go the first full day without consciously thinking about fitting in or how you are doing as far as passing. In other words when you find yourself living as your true self and don't even realize it. Then, you have made it and a funny little smile will show up on your face. You will never forget that day! 

When I met m BF .

For me it was when a stranger refereed to me using a female pronoun and I wasn't even trying to pass.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on November 27, 2013, 12:40:01 AM
You will know you have succeeded in your transition when you go the first full day without consciously thinking about fitting in or how you are doing as far as passing. In other words when you find yourself living as your true self and don't even realize it. Then, you have made it and a funny little smile will show up on your face. You will never forget that day! 

I can't wait for that day

Quote from: itsxandrea on November 27, 2013, 12:33:16 AM

So now what ... I still kind of feel the same. I mean, I don't know if this is me the perfectionist being hard on myself, or if there's a point of maturity when I'll just accept it but although I'm happy, today didn't really seem as great as I figured.

Insight? What about you?

I think you are already answering your own question. As transwomen, most of us fully identify as female (I know I do). Yet, we have memories of having to live as or fake it as a gender that is alien to us. When I am anywhere except my job (where people knew me pre-transition), I am fully accepted, and even in my job, people are largely accepting, although the men don't show me the attention that men who did not know me show). The problem, as you have locked on, is mainly me. I can't relate how lucky I feel given that I cannot leave my tiny village and take up a job elsewhere.

Still, I'm coming to deal with the idea that to a certain extent my existence as a woman will always feel asymptotic--as a curve that approaches a line in infinitesimally smaller increments without ever in fact meeting that line. The space between the curve and the line is where I feel the dull and gnawing pain. But most of my life is lived on the other side of the curve, not between the curve and the line, and that space will always grow smaller. I don't know what kind of peace I expect to feel and wonder if perfect peace is even desirable at this point. I, like most of the transitioned women I know, have the opportunity for happiness for the first times in their lives. But that does not mean that any of us are always happy. Nor that we fully accept. Am I at peace with my own non-acceptance. Not yet.

When I got my partner pregnant, and when we went to see the OBGYN and they asked what our relationship was and we told them I'm the father.  The doc got a condescending smile on his face and said "but who's the BIOLOGICAL father."  I told him I was, to which he replied "I don't think you understand....."  I grinned and reassured him that I understood.  He was confused and it took several minutes for the reality of the situation to sink in.

Quote from: Oriah on November 27, 2013, 07:40:09 AM
When I got my partner pregnant, and when we went to see the OBGYN and they asked what our relationship was and we told them I'm the father.  The doc got a condescending smile on his face and said "but who's the BIOLOGICAL father."  I told him I was, to which he replied "I don't think you understand....."  I grinned and reassured him that I understood.  He was confused and it took several minutes for the reality of the situation to sink in.

This brought a big smile to my face!  While I was nowhere near that far along, I do have a four year old daughter and can imagine that must have been a really special moment for you.

As for me, it was last week when my wife told me she was "all in".  She has been encouraging and supportive throughout, but until this point she had always maintained reservations with respect to the likelihood of our future together.

I do look forward to the day I feel accepted by society, or even the small portion of it with which I interact regularly.  All in due time.