Here's my predicament. I have a reached a point where I think I will soon be deciding whether or not I should begin HRT. I still have moments where I feel some denial, but ultimately I know I am a girl. If I tell myself that I'm going to be "a man" for the rest of my life... *shudder* I feel trapped. I have a therapist who I've been going to for a couple months now. My life is hectic in general, so we do have to use a lot of time for other stuff....
I'm in a very complicated relationship that is rather difficult to end. We've been dating for about four years and I care for her very deeply and hate to see her hurt... She has some mental issues similar to bipolar disorder, and anxiety, and depression, which makes the relationship both hard to leave, and hard for me to even think about HRT. Secondly, college is right around the corner. It was suggested to me that I take a year off before entering college. I figured that doing so would allow me to begin HRT soon, transition for a year or so, and enter college as a woman It's just, there's so much going on in my life that I always feel like a spinning top.
But, at the same time... HRT (and time away from the stresses of school) could simply relieve my depression and anxiety... And what good would it be to waste money at college when I'm going to be too unhappy to focus and do my best? And what if I decide to focus on school before transition and I wait 4 to 6 more years?
All in all, I feel like HRT is inevitable... And if I tell myself that I WON'T be starting soon (basically I could start as early as February or January of next year) I feel that "NO WAIT, COME BACK!!!!"/trapped feeling... Ughh.
Anyways, thanks for listening

Well, I'm definitely not the best to ask about this as I'm really new here myself and still learning about what's in store for me, but I can tell you how it went for me back then.  I didn't deal with it before college (right out of high school) and I flunked out.  I had a fear at the time about what professors would think of me after I missed a class, so once I missed a class I would never go back.  I've had problems like that my whole life, and really had to learn how to power through it.  I started HRT the end of this past August (21 years later) and those issues I had always had to fight with I noticed aren't really there anymore.  This semester has been by far the easiest time I've had in the college setting ever.  I always thought I was just timid and shy and afraid of what everyone thought of me.  Looking back, I really wonder how much of my anxiety and troubles were actually caused by my dysphoria.

I can't obviously tell you which way to go, it's ultimately going to be up to you.  For me, I think I would have been a lot better off facing this much sooner.  Either way, I'm sure you'll do what's right for you, and I wish you luck!

-hugs-

Hi

One thing that is almost universal here is that everyone regrets putting things off/on hold for a variety of reasons like the ones you have listed. I know I did and as the years pass, things do not get better. I made all sorts of excuses.
The sooner you start the better the results you get. This is almost universal for people here.

Hrt in my opinion is working wonders in more ways than just physical. Mentally it has stopped the bad feelings and I have a huge smile on my face since I started. I can't tell you in words how good it is.

Your idea for college is good but the GF will be the hard one for you. You need to be decisive for you and what you need. Being a fake will only make it worse over time so your call.
With all the other things make a list and prioritise them and work through them no matter how hard. Sometime much of the noise in life is just that, noise and not as important and people think.

Have you seen a therapist to discuss these concerns with?

All the best
Jen

I've been on/off low dose HRT several times since starting college. It did wonders for me mentally/emotionally, aiding my ability to handle trying to be a "normal" guy. (Of course, ignore how that alone speaks volumes). HRT is not necessarily an all or nothing situation. Low dose HRT is a way to help us cope with conflicting life decisions, help cement other decisions, and perhaps bring total relief.

Thanks a lot everyone! I'm beginning to feel more confident in deciding to do this now and take the year off before starting school. It's no final decision yet, but taking into consideration all of your comments, plus my own feelings and reasoning, I think doing so will be the best thing for me... And it feels so good to have reached this point.

and BTW, don't let anyone else influence you. Only you can know for sure.

I hope you will think some more about this, and consider alternate viewpoints. I lived as a woman for 13 years. I was very happy and successful. I had no intention ever of going back to male. However, I have done so, and it is really great. I mention this because I wish I'd had people 13 years ago telling me to slow down. I no longer believe in gender identity.

Quote from: Arietta Roselyn on November 30, 2013, 10:01:18 PM
Thanks a lot everyone! I'm beginning to feel more confident in deciding to do this now and take the year off before starting school. It's no final decision yet, but taking into consideration all of your comments, plus my own feelings and reasoning, I think doing so will be the best thing for me... And it feels so good to have reached this point.

Quote from: Zóôt Al-Lúrês, Count of Anvil on December 01, 2013, 02:20:23 PM
and BTW, don't let anyone else influence you. Only you can know for sure.

This. 

I would take your time and clear any major doubts you have.  It's important that you consider whether or not this is the right path for you.  Hormones are a big step and should be started when you know that this is right for you.  If not, wait until you have cleared your mind and gotten a definitive answer.  Some aspects of transitioning are temporary, but not all or most of them.  That's why I suggest being cautious and finding out what's right for you as an individual. 

Quote from: Detransitioned on December 01, 2013, 02:24:36 PM
I hope you will think some more about this, and consider alternate viewpoints. I lived as a woman for 13 years. I was very happy and successful. I had no intention ever of going back to male. However, I have done so, and it is really great. I mention this because I wish I'd had people 13 years ago telling me to slow down. I no longer believe in gender identity.

Well done. It took you 53 years to discover that you were always man. Better late than never, eh?

I agree with detransitioned. This change is not for everyone. You have to know with 1000% certainty, otherwise you will be back years later. I'm not sure I believe in gender identity either, but I do know what sex I am, and am at the same time painfully aware of what sex I used to be as well.

Also, I have had so many young people ask about taking time off from school. I am going to say to you what I say to them. Don't do it! There is one thing that NO ONE in this world can ever take away from you and that is an education. It will last an entire lifetime. If you need to delay your transition, then do it, but don't sacrifice your future or you will be very unhappy years later when you find out how hard you will have to work to stay ahead of the game.

Quote from: Zumbagirl on December 01, 2013, 03:31:34 PMAlso, I have had so many young people ask about taking time off from school. I am going to say to you what I say to them. Don't do it! There is one thing that NO ONE in this world can ever take away from you and that is an education. It will last an entire lifetime. If you need to delay your transition, then do it, but don't sacrifice your future or you will be very unhappy years later when you find out how hard you will have to work to stay ahead of the game.

Also, universities are great resources for transgender individuals; I doubt I'd have any friends or support at all outside of the internet if it wasn't for be being at university.

Quote from: Zumbagirl on December 01, 2013, 03:31:34 PM
I agree with detransitioned. This change is not for everyone. You have to know with 1000% certainty, otherwise you will be back years later. I'm not sure I believe in gender identity either, but I do know what sex I am, and am at the same time painfully aware of what sex I used to be as well.

Also, I have had so many young people ask about taking time off from school. I am going to say to you what I say to them. Don't do it! There is one thing that NO ONE in this world can ever take away from you and that is an education. It will last an entire lifetime. If you need to delay your transition, then do it, but don't sacrifice your future or you will be very unhappy years later when you find out how hard you will have to work to stay ahead of the game.

I agree with this for the most part; however, a sabbatical for one semester wouldn't be too bad.  Although, I wouldn't go more than that if it could be avoided.  It depends on how much time we are talking about.