Hi! If your parents didn't take the news well, how long did it take for them and the siblings to come around; if they ever did?

Well I haven't told my parents yet. We haven't been on the best of speaking terms for more than a year now anyway.

My wife's family though I am out to. Most of them were accepting but still don't want me dressing out in front the kids. And they don't want the kids to know that their uncle is now an aunt.

So far though I find that it varies. My wife still has trouble with it while her father is completely accepting of my situation and supportive. Weird.

So, just like with any other relationship it's up to each individual to make an adaptation to live and deal with the concept of changing genders.

My mom was rather instantaneous, but it took my step dad on a rollercoaster. At first he was nice about it (I think he was in shock), but then by the next day had many second thoughts and used some very strong language that broke me down into tears. I was still presenting male at that point. It took another 4-5 months before I felt like it was much better with him, and he started talking to me more- I knew he cared. Then at 7 months I went home to visit and passed during every public interaction right in front of him, then I knew I had his full acceptance. I will never forget the smile and amazement on his face that day.

I have adopted parents. They did not and never will accept me. They once told me they felt like they had gotten a defective product from the store and wanted a refund. We do not speak any more. I am using the emotions from it to strengthen my resolve to transition fully though. There is just no time for tears right now, but I am sure someday when I am happy they will fall.

It's been nearly a week since I sent my sister an email, no response yet. That's about the extent of my communication in the issue with my family so far.

Quote from: Urban Christina on November 27, 2013, 08:12:56 PM
Hi! If your parents didn't take the news well, how long did it take for them and the siblings to come around; if they ever did?

My family just doesn't get it. I think they're going to be very surprised when they see me in person again. I really need them to accept me. No matter what I've done in my life they've never been proud of me, because I chose to not be a Mormon when I was 14. My family is dead to me in so many ways. It still hurts but I'm stronger now. I forgive them.

Quote from: brianna1016 on November 28, 2013, 12:42:13 AM
My family just doesn't get it. I think they're going to be very surprised when they see me in person again. I really need them to accept me. No matter what I've done in my life they've never been proud of me, because I chose to not be a Mormon when I was 14. My family is dead to me in so many ways. It still hurts but I'm stronger now. I forgive them.

I think that is very healthy.

We will always find people who cannot accept us and certainly family reaction can be very painful. But we are people who are growing into our lives and dealing with life in a way that only transgender people can understand.

I think that forgiving those who are blind or ignorant of what we are facing is a very good way for us to grow inside ourselves as the wonderful people that we are.

Quote from: Urban Christina on November 27, 2013, 08:12:56 PM
Hi! If your parents didn't take the news well, how long did it take for them and the siblings to come around; if they ever did?

2 weeks ago(?) or Nov 13 i'll never forget the date. I was planning on going to a concert and wrote them a letter. Long story short, they read the letter and my mom wasn't crying nor was shocked. She just told me she loved me unconditionally and wanted me to be happy. I know it must've hurt her a little to read that. She and my dad both support me. My dad was shocked (i think he was expecting me to be gay since i was always so feminine) and said "i understand you more than you think i do". It was a nice moment and it made me cry. Something i'll never forget. Unfortunately they don't want me doing anything too drastic soon and want to me to think about what i'm doing to my body before i do it. Even though i', 100% ready to do it. I think hearing me say one thing but when i start changing would be another. They don't like seeing me dressed up in women's clothing yet but I'm guessing its because they still have to let what i said sink in. They still call me by male pronouns which is annoying. I haven't told my sibling yet tho i think they won't have a problem with it at least my sisters won't. Today my parents still treat me the same as if i haven't told them anything going on with me.

Haven't told them yet...not this time. Told my mother last time and she had a near melt down worrying what my father and grandmother would think. She now thinks I'm "cured" and I'm not telling her or the rest of family until I'm ready to go full time. I believe they will not take it well.

both my parents have passed. My entire family new I had a severe problem with cross dressing since I was 4. My sisters might make me a party joke, but I haven't talked to them in 20 years because of other issues . My brother is gay , so its not an issue with him.

My mom was not happy to keep it mildly. No, there was no shouting, screaming etc, in fact, she told me that she can accept a lot and I believe if I told her that I have issues with my orientation that would have been taken easier. Instead, she focused on my obligations and how am I going to fulfill them and that there are too many other people who might suffer if things would go in my direction. It went quite tense - to the extent that we were not even able to communicate via phone - someone always got angry with the other.

Now we see and chat every week, she brings some stuff from thrift shops and we both try things on, and she even slips a female pronoun from time to time (I dunno, if that's just slipping or she is doing that intentionally to see my reaction).
As for my father - I never knew him.

My family is very small: just me, my mother, grandmother and grandfather. I am extremely bounded and linked to them. Extremely... I have one real friend - my neighbor - and a few friends from the college...just that. Really no one I can open up and talk about it.

I am terribly afraid of the day I will come out. Sometimes, more than once, I find myself wanting to stop HRT and give up just to avoid the reacton of my family.

What happened me so far is finding a therapist to help me. I had to pay for one (not very cheap for someone that is unemployed at the moment) and she was the first person I could talk about it and that really gave me attention. I will return to her tomorrow, by the way. I opened up with her and she helped me to see that I was not crazy going on with this thing that sometimes I call a madness and sometimes I call a blessing. I hope she can help me emotionaly..

But I fear the day I will tell my mother. She will freak out and will try at every cost to stop me. She will probably stop giving me money so I can't keep up with HRT and probably she won't talk to me anymore...The worse is that I think I won't have the courage to face her in the eyes ever again if she don't understand me.

My grandmother and grandfather are very closed-minded and will do even worse.

My friends from college will end up with me and probably they will think of me as a complete lunatic. My neighbor is the only one that might understand me, but he is very catholic and this (sorry if I am offending anyone here) made him closed-minded to a lot of things...probably he will think that wanting to change sex is against the laws of God.

My situation is fearsome and I also envy poeple who are distant to their parents, people who don't need them as I need mine and people who could open up and be understood. This will not be my case, if this can confort anyone.

I really wish I didn't have a family. Really!!! So I could go on and live my life as it should have been

Thoughts like this one always makes me feel really bad...makes me want to hide myself inside a cave forever and never go out again...

I told my siblings last summer (2012) and all but one took it very well and supports me.

I was planning to tell my mother shortly after my siblings but she fell ill due to a routine colonoscopy gone bad. I kept hoping the moment would come because I was pretty sure she would have continued to love and accept me, just as she taught her children, my siblings, to do. But she never fully recovered from the botched procedure and passed away last December without me ever being able to tell her. That's one of my regrets, not being able to be her daughter instead of her son, for most of my life.

Quote from: LizMarie on November 28, 2013, 04:19:28 PM
I told my siblings last summer (2012) and all but one took it very well and supports me.

I was planning to tell my mother shortly after my siblings but she fell ill due to a routine colonoscopy gone bad. I kept hoping the moment would come because I was pretty sure she would have continued to love and accept me, just as she taught her children, my siblings, to do. But she never fully recovered from the botched procedure and passed away last December without me ever being able to tell her. That's one of my regrets, not being able to be her daughter instead of her son, for most of my life.

I am really sorry for your loss My father will never know he had a daughter too. It is a wound that never heals...the only thing we can do is learn to live with it.

Quote from: Urban Christina on November 27, 2013, 08:12:56 PM
Hi! If your parents didn't take the news well, how long did it take for them and the siblings to come around; if they ever did?

Wow, some toughs stories in here. My mom took it well and supports me, I rarely speak or see my dad and he was never there during the important moments in my life so he will not be involved in this one either, maybe one day I'll give him a surprise when am done with the procedures.

Quote from: Natalia on November 28, 2013, 03:47:03 PMI really wish I didn't have a family. Really!!! So I could go on and live my life as it should have been
Thoughts like this one always makes me feel really bad...makes me want to hide myself inside a cave forever and never go out again...

Do you really think not having a family would have made it easier for you to get an education, have a roof where to sleep, have food, have a job? Even in richer countries the social security systems for parentless kids leave tons to be desired, from the little experience that I have it is mostly about getting a roof and a school for masses of "kid-cattle" in an anonymous, cold environment where noone really cares on an emotional level for you or gives you good life experience. The few people willing to do so have at their hands dozenss of kids to attend to per day.

I grew most of the time without my family and I think that regardless of their opinions on my transition, there is some kind of material or otherwise support you cannot get on your own and makes it tough for you. Personally, I left at 14 because I could with my work and studies, but always felt like it was tough, even if I did make my things on my own, the life experience and wisdom was not there, makes it for a tougher ride. I think maybe it would have been easier to wait a little bit and stand their opinionated stuff a while more, than to work 16/24 and 7/7 to survive. Just my experience, though.

By the time that I finally accepted myself as a transgender woman and was willing to go public with it,  my parents were looking down upon me from the heavenly realm.   Three of my four brothers and sisters are on Facebook where I am publicly a transgender woman.   None of them has defriended me and my youngest sister congratulated me on finally being myself.   She knew about me for a long time.   My kids all know and so do some of my past students who I am friends with on Facebook.   Life is what it is.   I am a transgender woman, and with my long past of  trying to be a male known.  No matter what changes I make to my body, that's what I will always be.

My parents are deceased. My only living female relatives are one Aunt & one woman cousin. Today we all had a nice Thanksgiving meal. I spent most of the time in the kitchen with them & some other women. I was dressed in neutral tone however they may have noticed my somewhat larger breasts & nipples. My nipples have been hard all day for some reason. They commented that I looked nice & had lost some weight. I was totally feminine with them all afternoon. I told them I was planning some other major changes & improvements to my life. They did not want to know any details since there were several other people around however both told me that whatever made me happy & content was OK/good with them.

Soon I hope to sit down with my Aunt along & just explain everything to her. Then maybe I can also talk with my cousin, she is nice & I think she will understand.

These are the only living relatives that I care about & if they are comfortable all my family issues will be resolved.
That will be a very good day. I really love my Aunt & one cousin, they are very nice women.

Quote from: ganjina on November 28, 2013, 04:33:53 PM
Do you really think not having a family would have made it easier for you to get an education, have a roof where to sleep, have food, have a job? Even in richer countries the social security systems for parentless kids leave tons to be desired, from the little experience that I have it is mostly about getting a roof and a school for masses of "kid-cattle" in an anonymous, cold environment where noone really cares on an emotional level for you or gives you good life experience. The few people willing to do so have at their hands dozenss of kids to attend to per day.

Well, I really love them and care a lot... I think I didn't express myself very well.

I see all my friends so distant from their families, living alone, some very far away...and somehow I envy them.

Not that I wish I didn't have a family...I wish I didn't have a very present family at this moment of my life. I wish I wasn't living on the same house, I wish I wasn't so linked with them... that would definately make things much easier for me.

It is somewhat of a sick relationship...my mother wants to know all my steps, she don't give me any freedom or space and I feel it is suffocating me. I know she only loves me, but this excess of love and care is not good for me with my age. I want to take my own decisions, I know what is right for me...and I can't get free without hurting her feelings.

it took my dad a a week to start speaking to me again, and almost 2 years to start seeing me as daddy's girl. two of my siblings on the other hand will never see me as a girl just to try and spite me. and gradparents on my moms side said they figured i was a tulip lol. they totally were on board from the get go. 50/50 with my family

I'm really worried something bad went down; mom keeps adressing me as "my boy" in texts, emails, and phone messages. I don't know if she knows and is reacting protectively, or for some reason if felling overly protective.