So here I am facing a conundrum.

Recently I was invited to interview for my dream job. In brief the interview went well and I may most likely get the job and so on. However, the BIG fly in the gravy is that this particular will make it very very difficult for me to transition. On the other hand I don't much like my current work, but the environment in my current job is almost ideal to help me in my transition.

The thing is it has taken me nearly five years to get my dream opportunity and if I let it go, the job will be gone like forever. I am weighing my options at the moment. Both the jobs options in their way will cause me stress. In my current work, I will be frustrated about my career not going anywhere, where as my dream job will be stressful as it will not allow me to transition.

To me obviously transition is obviously of the highest priority, but again transition requires oodles of cash which I currently don't have and it is something the dream job can offer. The pay in my current job is allowing me to just about meet expenses for laser, therapist, meds, and so on.  Given time, with the new job, I would be able to save up enough cash for the surgeries.

I am like so tempted to take this new opportunity but again if I continue with my current job, I will prolly end up quitting it in a while anyway. It's just GOD .. why can't I just have both ..

Thanks for going through my post. Please could you help me decide, what do I do?

ssneha,

What are the legal protections for transitioning on the job where you are located?

How fast can you save money in the new job?

How long can you hold off transitioning? 

How good can you do the new job?

Do you have any other ways of making additional money in your current job?

Etc....

Make a list of priorities.  Make a list of goals.  Make a list of needs.  Make a list of wants.  Make a budget.  Make a list of possibilities.  Redo the lists as you go on.  Combine the lists for a plan. 

Hugs and good luck. 

Jen

It would be easier to provide feedback if you could tell us what factor or aspect of the new job is likely to impede transition. Is it the culture of the industry, workplace, or specific individuals? Is it in a different jurisdiction with weaker legal protections?

You already partly answered your question. Transition takes oodles of cash to do. Plus you may need even more stashed away for when you might loose that income stream when you decide to go full time.

I always seen "Needing" to go full-time as the key driver. For years I've had a great job and lived part-time as female. No matter what laws say, I've been in management, if the company wants you out there is always a way. You just can't be stupid about it by saying "We don't like your kind around here" and then writing it on a piece of paper you get to keep. THese days especially there is always a legitimate business reason to make you redundant. All the easier if you are an exempt employee.

I suspect you do not "Need" to go full-time tomorrow. If you did there would be no question asked to answer. Part-time is a good option. However, it also is this two edge sword. One edge allows you to feel legit, happy, to be the complete you. The other edge is the constant reminder you aren't that all the time, which for me was a good confirmation that I am well into the TS end of the spectrum. It can also have a heavy emotional toll as you deal living in two worlds and making that constant quantum leap between them.

Well first thanks everyone for you replies. Sorry for my late post, I have been travelling lately.

As a background. My current job is in market research. It's a back-office job and so no interactions with customers etc. Well as a change I would like to be more of sales and being part of the team who I support from the office. As part of the new job the way a person looks is important and hence my anxiety towards being able to convincingly pass and so on.  My bosses have fired folks for something as small as not shaving neatly. Guys are expected to keep their hair short - something that would make me puke.

In my current role nobody really cares about my near shoulder length hair or my long clear painted nails or the fact that I have a 36A (and growing ) chest. I just cannot imagine myself reversing my progress or in effect de-transitioning for the new role. But, on the other hand the new role is like my dream job, it would make me soooo much more happy and content. Leaving money aside, the sales role is something I really see myself doing for the rest of my life. By sheer luck I have this opportunity yo make a move. Yes, I did plan for it. But I was hoping the opportunity would present itself once I have fully transitioned. However, its here and if I let it go, I am near certain that it will not return.

So I guess I have two choices in hand - continue transitioning or the new job. I cannot live without either. But hate to choose one over the other.     


Sorry for the ramble. But these are my thoughts. I needed to put this down here.

xoxo - Sneha

I'm a schoolteacher. I am continually interacting with members of the public. I'm around impressionable children and I have to deal with their parents frequently.

I used to do it as a man. Starting this year, I'm doing it as a woman. I'm professional and mature and no parent out of the dozens I've interacted with has given me a hard time.

My point is that if you can do your job as a man, you can do it as a woman.

I'd suggest being upfront with your management once you start at the job. Explain that you plan to interact with the public in a professional manner at all times and you plan to dress and groom yourself to the same standards as the other women there. I wouldn't threaten them, assert your rights, etc. However you might bring up Macy vs. ATF or the Cori McCreery case in a sentence like "I'm sure you're eager to follow the law and that this won't affect my employment here."

Please let us know what happens.

Quote from: ssneha23 on November 27, 2013, 09:38:56 PM

...As part of the new job the way a person looks is important and hence my anxiety towards being able to convincingly pass and so on.  My bosses have fired folks for something as small as not shaving neatly. Guys are expected to keep their hair short - something that would make me puke.

In my current role nobody really cares about my near shoulder length hair or my long clear painted nails or the fact that I have a 36A (and growing ) chest.
xoxo - Sneha

There may a job opening but it sounds like they are already going to say no to you. 

If they say yes, they know what they are getting. In my first job out of college an older coworker once told me "Let them promise you anything but get it in writing". Something to consider to avoid future hassles or their implied "But you knew what we expected...".

The alternate "Yes" scenario is that you can just be making it way too easy for them to fire you. (I've been in management. Safely firing someone is generally a concern in order to avoid future lawsuits.) Sales is exempted from many employment regs geared towards protecting the typical hourly workers.

Probably I am not a typical transgender here in my country.

Before the interview for the job (faculty position), the dean entreated me not to wear bold women's clothes in the campus. At that time, my long hair alone already made a lot of fuss and gossip. He said that university differs from research institutions because students will look at and learn from me. I still wear conservatively in the lecture room.

In reality, students accept my feminine appearance very well, but only a few aged professors have sometimes made objections to my long hair, the symbol of my identity.

Nowadays, everybody here knows that I sometimes wear skirts and heels, as I post those photos in facebook. Even the president of my university. They no longer object to my wearing women's clothes, as long as students and my colleagues acknowledge my performance as an educator and a researcher. People can tell my performance from my private and unique taste.

If you performance in your new job is superior, then nobody will object to your transition, although it may take long time for your colleagues to be accustomed to your new image. Otherwise, your transition can be a good excuse for everything.

My position is protected by the law here, but the law itself is not so much important. They can find any excuse if the want to do something against you.

For me, it was not an easy journey, but sometimes funny and thrilling. People tend to surprisingly well adapt to new image or environment.

barbie~~