My dad was really the only one in my family to fully except me right off the bat. I have one aunt and uncle who support me after about 6 months. My stepmother took about 4 months to open up to me again. Then on the other hand my mother and my brother have yet to come around and i highly doubt they ever will.
The rest of my family and i stopped talking cuz of political differences before i came out so i really don't know how supportive they are.
There are other family members i still talk to, but not as closely as before....kinda helps that i didn't have a close family to begin with.

I'ma inject some positivity here:
My mom and dad both took the news and kept on speaking with me, and we're still on good terms. The siblings they've told (2 girls, 1 boy) are accepting if not supportive. My aunt took it well at first, then hardened - I haven't spoken to her in a while. And I have one uncle+aunt who're really supportive, while the rest (granddad too) are not exactly happy.

I kept my folks, though. I can't overstate how much that means to me.

Quote from: ZoeM on November 28, 2013, 09:07:13 PM
I'ma inject some positivity here:
My mom and dad both took the news and kept on speaking with me, and we're still on good terms. The siblings they've told (2 girls, 1 boy) are accepting if not supportive. My aunt took it well at first, then hardened - I haven't spoken to her in a while. And I have one uncle+aunt who're really supportive, while the rest (granddad too) are not exactly happy.

I kept my folks, though. I can't overstate how much that means to me.

girl thats great. i love when parents are there for their kids right off the bat. and willow she might still be trying to get use to saying she/girl. i know that bad habit can take some time to break for people. you can just keep nicely correcting her/ reminding her

My baby sister, who might as well be my baby girl has accepted me with caveats. She accepts me for me; however, she is extremely concerned about potential violence directed at me for being transgender. As she herself put it, "If you hit the lottery and never had to work, had your nice home and arsenal, I would not worry about you. But other people will want to hurt you and that makes me very scared" Still, she walks with me through the campus and has on more than one occasion gone shopping with me for girly stuff.

My father, oh my very conservative - "Texas should secede!" father, has been one of the most supporting people since coming out. More than anything, he just wants to make sure wherever I am, that I'm well armed.

My mother, my dear mother who I love so much! My enlightened - "I went to college in Houston! Gay people and transgenders need to respected and treated well" mother has been a major emotional hurdle. She is completely unaccepting it seems and will actively criticize any feminine affectations in my "masculine" guise. (Just wait till she sees my new earings or me in a more form fitting shirt )

Last but not least are my cousins. We were very much like siblings growing up and the two I was closest to were the ones I have come out to so far. My alpha-male, Army ranger, older cousin completely surprised me and has been like my dad about this (are you sufficiently armed? What fighting styles have you learned yet?). My younger female cousin (who I would often purloin makeup from and occasionally borrow clothes without asking ) has also been accepting. I just recently visited her, she remarked on the changes and asked me "are you happy?". When I said yes, she brought me a pair of her diamond white gold earrings and gave them to me as a gift. We then joked about the fact some of my aunts would have me try on clothes they had bought for her as a gift to check sizing when we were kids. She joked that I should go to a family gathering, point my finger at the three of them and say "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" Her, my wife, and I just started giggling as we pictured the scene.

As to the rest, I have yet to find out. I want to tell family in person and preferably not over Christmas tamales. I have a big extended family, and this could be awhile.

Quote from: Yukari-sensei on November 29, 2013, 12:11:55 AM
My baby sister, who might as well be my baby girl has accepted me with caveats. She accepts me for me; however, she is extremely concerned about potential violence directed at me for being transgender. As she herself put it, "If you hit the lottery and never had to work, had your nice home and arsenal, I would not worry about you. But other people will want to hurt you and that makes me very scared" Still, she walks with me through the campus and has on more than one occasion gone shopping with me for girly stuff.

My father, oh my very conservative - "Texas should secede!" father, has been one of the most supporting people since coming out. More than anything, he just wants to make sure wherever I am, that I'm well armed.

My mother, my dear mother who I love so much! My enlightened - "I went to college in Houston! Gay people and transgenders need to respected and treated well" mother has been a major emotional hurdle. She is completely unaccepting it seems and will actively criticize any feminine affectations in my "masculine" guise. (Just wait till she sees my new earings or me in a more form fitting shirt )

Last but not least are my cousins. We were very much like siblings growing up and the two I was closest to were the ones I have come out to so far. My alpha-male, Army ranger, older cousin completely surprised me and has been like my dad about this (are you sufficiently armed? What fighting styles have you learned yet?). My younger female cousin (who I would often purloin makeup from and occasionally borrow clothes without asking ) has also been accepting. I just recently visited her, she remarked on the changes and asked me "are you happy?". When I said yes, she brought me a pair of her diamond white gold earrings and gave them to me as a gift. We then joked about the fact some of my aunts would have me try on clothes they had bought for her as a gift to check sizing when we were kids. She joked that I should go to a family gathering, point my finger at the three of them and say "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" Her, my wife, and I just started giggling as we pictured the scene.

As to the rest, I have yet to find out. I want to tell family in person and preferably not over Christmas tamales. I have a big extended family, and this could be awhile.

yeah sometimes the ones you least expect to accept you surprise you. im sorry about your mom. i hope she comes to terms soon

Quote from: Tristan on November 28, 2013, 09:24:03 PMand willow she might still be trying to get use to saying she/girl. i know that bad habit can take some time to break for people. you can just keep nicely correcting her/ reminding her

The strange thing is that, to my knowledge, I'm not out to her yet, unless my sister told her about my email. If so, she's either in denial, or just not used to it.

willow im sure they must suspect something then. thats normally the only reason they start acting like that. like how my dad banned sleepovers. lol
even when they suspect something but dont want to admit it. they can be like that 

Quote from: Tristan on November 29, 2013, 12:20:44 AMwillow im sure they must suspect something then. thats normally the only reason they start acting like that. like how my dad banned sleepovers. lol
even when they suspect something but dont want to admit it. they can be like that 

Could be related to the fact that I'm pretty sure that my dad thinks I'm gay.

Quote from: Tristan on November 29, 2013, 12:14:35 AM
yeah sometimes the ones you least expect to accept you surprise you. im sorry about your mom. i hope she comes to terms soon

Thanks Tristan! I think she will eventually, even if she's hurting me now. She says she's against it because she's afraid I will be ostracized by the other nurses in the unit. She flipped when she found out I had presented female to the nursing program director.

What I told my therapist on many occasions is, "when I have my makeup on, when I'm smiling with everyone and I see my reflection... I see a younger version of my mother." Eventually, seeing is believing and she will, God be willing, see the daughter who loves her standing in front of her instead of the tortured son she seems to want.

Yukari im not sure what state you live in or if its in the city but i know that when i was nursing school they were aware that i was trans (at least the DON was) and it was not a big deal. i mean if you pass ok patients dont seem to notice. and as for problems on the unit i dont see why they would have a issue with you being trans? Willow yup. the thinking your gay thing is often the first thought parents get. at least it softens the blow thats coming.

Quote from: Tristan on November 29, 2013, 01:19:25 AM
Willow yup. the thinking your gay thing is often the first thought parents get. at least it softens the blow thats coming.

Yup, I sometimes thought that it would have been easier for my mom to accept that I was gay or bi. She actually admitted that she has nothing against women and if she had a chance - lol - if that is not an admission of being bi-curious then I dunno what it is .  Of course, trans is something much more serious and sadly, but I was never gay . I might be bi, but that avenue needs some more exploration to be absolutely sure . 

Quote from: Natalia on November 28, 2013, 06:10:14 PM
Well, I really love them and care a lot... I think I didn't express myself very well.

I see all my friends so distant from their families, living alone, some very far away...and somehow I envy them.

Not that I wish I didn't have a family...I wish I didn't have a very present family at this moment of my life. I wish I wasn't living on the same house, I wish I wasn't so linked with them... that would definately make things much easier for me.

It is somewhat of a sick relationship...my mother wants to know all my steps, she don't give me any freedom or space and I feel it is suffocating me. I know she only loves me, but this excess of love and care is not good for me with my age. I want to take my own decisions, I know what is right for me...and I can't get free without hurting her feelings.

Huh I feel you, been through roughly the same. All I can say is that whenever you decide to leave, a lot of unrelated obstacles you did not have to deal with will come up, financial and otherwise, so be prepared for that. Also I found the best starting point to be "having a job" to be independent. At my uni a lot of us took a loan to pay it and worked our @sses off for that... kind of long, exhausting road, but is not it worth it...

yup. Emily im sure things will get better for all of you. i know these problems are common when parents or family find out. wish i could say everyone was all smiles when they found out but i cant. but they do tend to come around if they open the mind a little and care enough too.

My parents said they accepted me 100% from the beginning, and they were very supportive. They did, however, take about a year to come around on name/pronouns. I was OK with that because they were loving and encouraging otherwise, and it's hard to change some habits. (My mother ended up giving us a big chunk of money to replenish our savings account after we paid for GRS, and then came to visit from 600 miles away to check on me and fuss over me post-op, which is when I knew she was finally comfortable with it all...)

My wife's parents never spoke to us again, and disowned her. I hear they tell people now she's dead, and I am some sort of freak. Whatever; they were abusive jerks to begin with.

My mom and her wife are both supportive, they just want me to be safe. I have yet to bring it up to my dad and brother yet since I feel they will be a little less understanding.  I'll be talking about how I might go about this with my therapist the next time we talk.

Interesting! I come from a very conservative family who tried everything to stop me and it took my mom a few months to come around and fully supports me now but dad still hasn't. In 2011 he stopped paying for my education, fixing my car, and talking when I came out. However, he knew I was going to be at our big family Thanksgiving gathering this year but showed up anyway and even gave me a hug unexpectedly on my way out. Although he doesn't talk to me much yet and says he isn't ready; showing up, being friendly, and giving me a hug were huge for him. I wonder if there is hope he will fully come around and it has been two years already since I came out? :/ Many thanks to you all for sharing sisters!

Quote from: Jennygirl on November 27, 2013, 11:53:36 PM
My mom was rather instantaneous, but it took my step dad on a rollercoaster. At first he was nice about it (I think he was in shock), but then by the next day had many second thoughts and used some very strong language that broke me down into tears. I was still presenting male at that point. It took another 4-5 months before I felt like it was much better with him, and he started talking to me more- I knew he cared. Then at 7 months I went home to visit and passed during every public interaction right in front of him, then I knew I had his full acceptance. I will never forget the smile and amazement on his face that day.

Aww, I'm sorry and you weren't the only one having issues with her father/stepfather but so happy he came around That gives some of us some hope.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on November 28, 2013, 12:00:00 AM
I have adopted parents. They did not and never will accept me. They once told me they felt like they had gotten a defective product from the store and wanted a refund. We do not speak any more. I am using the emotions from it to strengthen my resolve to transition fully though. There is just no time for tears right now, but I am sure someday when I am happy they will fall.

I'm sorry, you aren't the only one. What my dad did and said hurt me more than any human being did too.

Quote from: LizMarie on November 28, 2013, 04:19:28 PM
I told my siblings last summer (2012) and all but one took it very well and supports me.

I was planning to tell my mother shortly after my siblings but she fell ill due to a routine colonoscopy gone bad. I kept hoping the moment would come because I was pretty sure she would have continued to love and accept me, just as she taught her children, my siblings, to do. But she never fully recovered from the botched procedure and passed away last December without me ever being able to tell her. That's one of my regrets, not being able to be her daughter instead of her son, for most of my life.

Aww. I wish my deceased grandparents got to know the real me too.

I feel so lucky that up to this point my whole immediate family is 100% accepting of me right now. Sure I still get called by my legal name and he this and him that but hey they actually mean it when they say they support my decision as long as it makes me happy. Most of all I'm happy that I'm finally out with them all and that we don't have to tip toe around each other anymore. I felt really bad that I had told my parents almost 2 months ago but I hadn't told my sister and brother in law when they need to know what was going on in my life.