so my question is do you see yourself as a vulnerable person ?
i have always seen my self as a vulnerable person all through school a was verbally, physically and mentally bullied with people telling me im gay and all that time no matter how many times i told people im not gay i still got bullied because people had decided that is was. and then 2 years ago (still not out) i was severely assaulted in an alley way by someone who used to bully me which was classed by the police as a homophobic attack although i said im not gay because that was the reason he done it. the problem i now have in my home town i just dont feel safe and not only that i do suffer with depression and some could say something to and i could just flip and do something stupid which i have done before.

your thoughts and advise would be appreciated

I like to think I'm a fairly strong person, like I have a lot of willpower and self-motivation. But under all that, I'm definitely vulnerable and becoming more so as I transition. Physically, not very strong but strong enough for the moment. But again, I'll probably weaken as I go. My solution? I'm going to buy a gun after I move lol.

gun sounds good only thing is im in england and its hard to get a licences for a gun and even i we have 1 we cant carry a gun and it is 100% impossible to get a license for a hand gun (i have a crossbow)

i have a strong outer shell but im really soft and gooey once that shell has been broken
im not physically strong due to muscle but because of my sheer size

Take some martial arts classes. Not only will it teach you how to defend yourself but it will teach you how to center yourself. If you pick the right dojo anyways. You will be able to learn when to fight and it's great excessive on top of it. Martial arts isn't about fighting, but about being able to control yourself, your thoughts, and center who you are. But it's also handy in situations where you do have to defend yourself.

Be strong! You're in a tough situation and maybe moving to a different town wouldn't be a bad idea eventually if you are going to endure that kind of assault. But above all be strong.

Another way to look at or vulnerability is to see it as a source of strength.  What part of your vulnerability are you willing to share with others?  Sharing part of you that is true and private can often bring people closer to us as they feel comfortable sharing their vulnerable truths in turn.  Creating a circle of friends and support is one outstanding way of feeling strong.  Having allies walking beside us in a dark alley is also quite powerful.

While you do not acknowledge being gay you may appear to others as "different" and sadly some find any difference to be a source of fear.  Fear is their weakness, don't let it be yours.

firstly a circle of friends i dont have my true friends count is to 1 and i do share everything with her.
secondly martial arts isnt for me iv tried it before i just dont have the self control and its not like i cant look after myself anyway i live in a part of england that would compare to the deep south of america.