I'm taking T again, and I have found that is turning me heterosexual.

For clarification, I used to identify as bisexual.  I knew I was bisexual since I was a little kid.  I had no problem with being bi.  As time went on, I veered more towards preferring men, because I preferred the tendencies of their personalities more than women.  Sorry, but the way women tend to interact with men and other women does annoy the heck out of me, personally.  I have nothing against women, but the feminine standard of flirtation/socialization is incredibly annoying to me.  (N.B., I think it's unfair to scream at Chaz Bono for saying things like this--his experience is his experience, excuuuuse the fook out of him for being un-PC, it's his life, he's doing the best he can.)

But I'm not anymore, after T.  After T, male body parts just register as non-sexual.  Penises are not disgusting, but they are just...meh.  Whatev.  Big whoop, it's a dick, nice dick you have there, good for you.  But breasts and vaginas?  I AM SPRUNG AS HELL ACHKSLDKSAJLFDKSAJF GET IT AWAY BEFORE I HUMILIATE MYSELF

I am serious when I say that testosterone is changing my orientation.  Genuinely--inherently--changing my orientation.  And now I'm beating myself up for being straight.  Because I AM straight now.  And that means I'm this horrible str8male oppressorz omg misogeniztorz HATE URSELF U WEMMON-BATT0RING MESOGESISD U WANT TO KILL WOMOMZ BCUZ U GET BONORZ FROM LOOKENG AT BOOBEHZ!!!!!1!!one!

Guess I need a good solid 100-proof shot of Valerio right about now, because I don't know how to reconcile my genuine experience with what I'm supposed to believe.  My life is directly contradicting everything I used to think about gender politics, and yeah, it's upsetting.  Mostly I just want to see what people will say, because I thought I knew reality, but apparently my appraisal of reality wasn't good enough, so what the heck should I think and believe, and if I can't discern my own meaning in a vacuum, what indeed does this mean?

And why am I a bad person for being a straight guy?  Where did this bizarre self-defeating complex come from, that I'm somehow a Bad Person, just because I am a man who happens to have arousal reactions to breasts and vaginas?

The world is complex. Also full of people trying to manufacture villains out of thin air.

As for myself, I know I never used to like men... I guess we just know for certain that orientation is not (just, or necessarily) from birth to death, immutable.

Be wiser for it? And try to remember to be a good straight man, OK?

Don't worry about it, I would never of dreamed of getting involved with a man before E.  Nowadays though there is something that seeing a hunky guy does to me that never happened with women...

I still get that feeling when seeing certain gorgeous girls (still  totally different to pre-E), so I'm apparently now bi at least, maybe even shifting towards straight myself.

Hormones are weird, wonderful things, just run with it!

As others have said, attraction can change over time. This is especially true when hormones are thrown into the mix! This doesn't make you a "bad person" it just means sexuality can be fluid.

By the way, this gave me such a giggle! 

Quote from: Xren on November 30, 2013, 05:23:40 AM
Penises are not disgusting, but they are just...meh.  Whatev.  Big whoop, it's a dick, nice dick you have there, good for you.  But breasts and vaginas?  I AM SPRUNG AS HELL ACHKSLDKSAJLFDKSAJF GET IT AWAY BEFORE I HUMILIATE MYSELF

Good luck with everything!

Yup, same here! Girls used to appear so soft and nice and gentle. While guys were just... meh. Dreaded boys locker room or changing room for swimming pool - seen lots of naked guys and their parts and.. So You got a d*ck? So do I - what a shame... at least Your public areas would have benefited from some shaving...
Now... I am talking with this guy (our new freshman), discussing some office work and then catching myself glancing at his shoulders (he is competitive swimmer) and thinking "OMG... those shoulders... he is actually hot!!!" and the next thought "WTF??? What did You just think? OMG - he is f***ing dude, DUDE!!!".
And I was like "Oh sh...t! Just what I needed..." .
Yeah, and girls are now... kinda meh

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on November 30, 2013, 08:41:45 AM
Now... I am talking with this guy (our new freshman), discussing some office work and then catching myself glancing at his shoulders (he is competitive swimmer) and thinking "OMG... those shoulders... he is actually hot!!!" and the next thought "WTF??? What did You just think? OMG - he is f***ing dude, DUDE!!!".

It was Channing Tatum for me

As a gay man myself, I can see why you are resisting the idea of being straight. Especially when it was an unexpected change on T. Why? Because it has been part of your identity that you are bi, right? It's yet another label, one that you have been comfortable with for a long while. If that is suddenly taken away from you, you have to start the entire process of getting to know yourself again. Different labels and ideas will have to be suddenly investigaged. This leads to some resitance, naturally, because it was unexpected.

It's not a bad thing. It's just human nature. A lot of us do not like change, especially when it is unexpected and makes us re-evaluate ourselves. I, too, would not like it if I suddenly liked women. The idea is so alien to me. I am very comfortable being a gay man in the gay scene. Entering the straight scene is just...It feels like alien territory.

Just because you're experiencing less of that initial, superficial arousal towards men (and more of it towards "OMG BOOBEHZ") doesn't mean that you're necessarily straight now. You may still be attracted to guys once you get to know them. Your boners don't choose your orientation for you- you can still decide how to self-identify and who you actually pursue relationships with.

This same kinda thing is happening with me. I do feel a bit guilty about it too. I mean, I'm pansexual so it shouldn't worry me, but I've always had more of a preference towards women, until now... Now it's like the balance has shifted, and I just seem to find men more sexually attractive than women. It doesn't help that my best friend/ex (a lesbian) thinks I'm switching teams and turning straight. :/ I already felt some guilt but that's making it worse. And I still want to be attracted to women, and I think I am, but with my sex-drive turned upside-down who knows anymore..

I used to be asexual, I kind of changed to well I don't know what I am. I like girls, but I also feel attracted to boys. Life is interesting. Just go with the flow, and not worry about it.

--Jay

Once you're trans you're already way beyond queer anyway.   I wouldn't worry about little things like whom I find attractive anymore. 

Dave Navarro performing shirtless was SMOKING hot.  I wanted to grab him by the nipple rings.  Doesn't bug me one bit.

Quote from: Jill F on November 30, 2013, 05:55:03 PM
Once you're trans you're already way beyond queer anyway.

I love the way you put this. I've always been around 80% attracted to males and considered myself heteroflexible but now that I'm becoming a guy I  self identify as gay. I assume that usually acknowledging how you feel and coming out as gay is, on it's own, usually a huge thing but honestly, when you tack that onto the end of telling someone "I'm planning to become a man." it seems pretty minor really.

I have a friend who is married (not gay married though that's legal in some parts of NM). His spouse though, does not think of herself as "straight". I think they think of themselves as queer. I guess I am reclaiming that one too.

--Jay

I'd let go of the "self-defeating complex" about being straight. I'm actually a little bit confused by what you said, because is it you who feels like straight guys are bad, or are you afraid most women think that? Most men prefer women, and most women prefer men - there's nothing better or worse about that than there is about being gay or whatever. I get that some straight guys act like real jerks, so the solution is just don't be one of those jerks if you end up with a woman. The way I see it too is that if your orientation has changed to the point where you begin falling in love with women (or a woman) it's going to feel right when it comes along. Cause that's how love rolls lol.

Quote from: caleb. on November 30, 2013, 10:22:07 PM
I get that some straight guys act like real jerks, so the solution is just don't be one of those jerks if you end up with a woman. The way I see it too is that if your orientation has changed to the point where you begin falling in love with women (or a woman) it's going to feel right when it comes along. Cause that's how love rolls lol.

Cause that's how love rolls! 

Caleb I just love everything you say!