I was just wondering how different my mind would be if I was born the gender I should of been. It's obvious to me my mind doesn't fit the body, but I wonder if I really be a different person. I know I 'd be a whole lot happier going through grade school and high school in the proper clothes. I just can't imagine thinking too much differently other than not having that awareness of being wrong.  For the most part I've always thought of boys in a different sort of way. The first male friend I had I always saw him as my boy friend. It was like that for me through college. I dated girls a lot too. I guess I've always been bi. Other than the clothes I can't imagine my mind being too much different if I didn't have that damn y chromosome .

Hypotheticals are fine, but I feel that "what if" questions often lead us to regrets or negative feelings about our current situation.  In general, I think it's healthier to look at things for what they are and decide how to proceed with that in mind.  While I would love to consider what life would have been like had things been more ideal, it's more productive to think about the realities I face and how I should move forward.  Besides, you'll never be able to answer any of the "What ifs" because it never was; therefore, you can only make assumptions and that doesn't really answer the question.  It will always be unknown. 

And if I may ask - what is the gender we should have been? The one which corresponds to our body, or the one which corresponds to our brain?
In both cases, I would have been a totally different person :/.

As ltl has noted, "what ifs" are best left not to entertain. All this leads to is negative feelings and regret. And as Emily has noted, if you had been born the "right" sex then you would have been a completely different person who would probably not have appreciated the rich tapestry of life.

I think that approximately 25% of our character is determined by gender,25% by our cultural background, and 50% by our individual personalities.So that being a different gender would have made us different, but not completely so. the "right" gender simply means having a body and mind the same gender.You would have been just as happy to have been born with a male mind to match your body as to have been born with a female body to match your mind.

Quote from: Nicolette on December 01, 2013, 02:53:56 PM
As ltl has noted, "what ifs" are best left not to entertain. All this leads to is negative feelings and regret. And as Emily has noted, if you had been born the "right" sex then you would have been a completely different person who would probably not have appreciated the rich tapestry of life.

^This^

The "what if" game never ends well.  What if I was a fish instead of a trans chick?

Quote from: Jill F on December 01, 2013, 04:02:42 PM
^This^

The "what if" game never ends well.  What if I was a fish instead of a friendly neighborhood trans chick rock star?

Fixed that for ya! 

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on December 01, 2013, 02:43:41 PM
And if I may ask - what is the gender we should have been? The one which corresponds to our body, or the one which corresponds to our brain?
In both cases, I would have been a totally different person :/.

Agreed. If I was born a cis-gender female, I'd likely be quite different just from having a different life. Social interactions and friendships would have been different, everything really. I might not even have the same interests. Or I could be preggers dealing with baby-daddy drama and living on the streets. So I can't say with certainty that my life would have been any better. Honestly, I think between cis-gender female and 'normal' male, the latter would be the better option. I'd still be me for the most part, but without being trans and having the dysphoria and issues. And without knowing how my life would have been being trans, I think maybe I would have been fine with being male. But it's all purely hypothetical lol. I think despite the issues I've faced in being trans, I'd still prefer it because it's who I am, and I'm becoming more myself all the time. Hell, there's even the possibility that as a cis-gender whatever without gender issues, I might not be able to relate to trans-people, and I could have ended up one of those people... :/

its really hard to say? i mean in school if your not the pretty girl,or into fun sports, kinda Gothic cute or have boobs then your adolescent years can suck if you were a girl.  and good help you if your the girl with zits, not cute, fat, no shape/to much shape. idk it always seemed like being a girl is more a emptiness wreck in school. even if you were cute or simi popular you had enemies and the gossip mill. so i wouldn't worry to much about the what ifs since it could have went either way.

What's to say that even if you were born a genetic female, that you wouldn't be on the opposite side of the coin and end up living as a FTM? Just a little food for thought

I think I'd be a different person if I was born a male. I wouldn't care
As long as I was healthy and didn't have gender dysphoria. My life wouldn't be
perfect but it'll be one less stressful thing I'd have to deal with IMO.

Quote from: Ethedon on December 01, 2013, 11:30:35 PM
I think I'd be a different person if I was born a male. I wouldn't care
As long as I was healthy and didn't have gender dysphoria. My life wouldn't be
perfect but it'll be one less stressful thing I'd have to deal with IMO.

yeah as a guy if you have self confidence and can play the guy game. yes you would have had a blast

I know my life would of been massively different - but just because it would be different doesn't mean it would of been better

On one hand, yes I would of preferred to of been born female, but on the other hand I'm okay with my life up until transition.  There are so many things that I've done, so many friends I met, that I wouldn't have ever known if I didn't start out as "him".  I'd rather go through the pain of transition than rewind time and live life from scratch as a girl...

It is something I have thought about once in awhile over the last 40 years and some things are obvious to me and others are a big question mark.

The biggest question mark is if I would have been adopted into the same family. If not, then I would have missed years of abuse and I have no idea how much that might have effected me nor any idea what my childhood experiences would have been. If I had been adopted in to the same family, maybe the abuse wouldn't have been as bad if I had been "normal".

I know the person I became would have been much the same because, apparently, that was "in the genes". I was 40 when I met my birth mother and discovered I was 'a chip off the old block' in every way imaginable! Yes, same personality, same disposition, same weird sense of humour, same foibles, same values!

Where life would have taken a huge fork in the road would have been in high school because I was madly in love at 13 with a boy who was also in love with me. If I had been 'normal' it is doubtful that I would have finished high school before getting pregnant. Instead of being a wandering gypsy pursuing love and career I would have been a housewife with a bunch of children.

If you had been born the "right" gender, it all would have been normal to you and you would have "just lived your life".  Nothing special, you would no  reason to think about gender.