Someday, I want to fit in society as a passable woman. Will I be able to pass? This is my internal dialogue. It leads to observations about the people around me. I see lots of CIS women who are overweight and who don't really try to look good. I see women with big chins, big noses, and it looks good on them. They're beautiful. There's ugliness too. There is such a range. As I get closer to transitioning, I'm looking closer. I see a detective on a reality show. She talks in a very manly monotone. I think she needs Yesson. I'm looking at my computer screen and in the background I hear a woman speaking on TV. I look up and see it's actually a guy. He just sounds very feminine. Stuff like this is always happening, reminding me that there is no perfectly ideal woman or man. Some women are graceful. Some are ...not very graceful. Some CIS women are unhappy. Some feel cheated by having to live in their born gender and I'm not talking about GID. There are fairly normal women who don't realize that they are precious feminine diamonds. They might just see it's a man's world and resent their social role. It's interesting to see the variations in how women are, intellectually, physically, and emotionally. I think that by observing these things I can more easily adapt to living full time as a woman. Sounds good in theory. We'll see.

I think that trans people-particularly those in the early stages of transition-are much more observant when it comes to their features, clothes etc. For instance, a lot of things people mention in the "Do I Pass" threads are details I would never have noticed let alone associate with a certain gender.

My Grandma Rose says that when women look in the mirror they should be the only person there. Just a thought.

Good luck with your upcoming transition! 

Shaina, I'd like to pass, so when I look in the mirror the whole world is there with me. Maybe someday I'll have the appearance and confidence to not care about what others think. BTW, your profile picture looks great. You are very lucky!   

I think that transgender folks are the hardest critics of themselves, of others, and even of cis folks.

In many "do I pass" kind of threads we have posted pictures of good looking cis women...the criticisms of their "manly" characteristics was astonishing...

We have to transcend naïve, warped, and unrealistic "standards" of felinity. Every women learns to make the best of whatever assets she has...

Many who live successful lives have learned to release their inner self, to be truly who they are, to respectfully and with dignity have a "human experience"

What Peky said!

Quote from: peky on December 05, 2013, 05:12:22 PM
We have to transcend naïve, warped, and unrealistic "standards" of felinity.

Hehehe. Everybody wants to be a cat.  But a cat's the only cat who knows where it's at.

A well said and a good reminder. Females come in all shapes, sizes, and presentations. Some even look more like cis-males than many of us ever did.

Females... They are not all supermodels.

I've been looking at a lot of pictures of V-shaped women lately. Women with broad shoulders, wide waists and narrow hips. Some of them look amazing! A lot of them are athletes with fantastic bodies!

I'm beginning to learn that curves aren't everything. I think how you dress your shape goes a long way.

But most of all it's confidence. You set the example, and people will generally see you the way you see yourself.

Just my observation.

I came up with this following observation decades ago when I worried if I'll ever pass, fit in etc.. It came to me during one of those mundane moments in life, the grocery store check-out line. I saw all the women que'd up. All shapes, sizes, styles, plusses, minuses. You know, normal everyday women trying to make it through a day. Not those you see on TV, movies, or in mags.

Whenever I come across anyone else questioning, I pass it along. The next time you are on the check out line look and see the normal women surrounding you.

I just clicked y'all's 'like' buttons.

Quote from: Gina_Z on December 05, 2013, 10:15:23 PM
I just clicked Joanne's 'like' button.

It doesn't have any effect unless you put a reason and submit.  Unless you are talking about something else...

Quote from: Orange Creamsicle on December 05, 2013, 10:17:26 PM
It doesn't have any effect unless you put a reason and submit.  Unless you are talking about something else...

People who are aware-enough to see all of these different details in the world around them and thoughtful enough to process them fairly and realistically definitely push all my buttons just right.

Quote from: Orange Creamsicle on December 05, 2013, 10:17:26 PM
It doesn't have any effect unless you put a reason and submit.  Unless you are talking about something else...

Ha. I meant that as a sweet reference to facebook. I'm expressing a sentiment:
'I just clicked Joanne's 'like' button. '

Quote from: Joules on December 06, 2013, 12:16:52 AM
One of the very earliest, most primitive and basic distinctions humans learn to make is "Mama" and "Not Mama".  That identification process grows, is refined and extended throughout life.  When we meet a previously unknown person, the gender ID process happens without much thought.  Because it runs so deep and is so pervasive to our existence, it becomes a finely tuned sensor.  Out of all the subtle and varied distinctions that can accompany another's gender, the gender sensing element within us learns to differentiate and prioritize the distinctions to arrive at a final conclusion.  This happens in less than the blink of an eye, without any conscious thought or effort on our part.

Since coming out to myself some 7 or 8 months ago, I have studied others much more closely, trying to decide just which elements are the main deciding factors.  A most interesting experience was with a person I observed in a store one time.  We were approaching each other down a shopping aisle.  At a distance, the presentation was female by most of the distant observables, eg, clothing, hair, etc.  As we got closer, I thought I was wrong, her build, carriage, gait and facial bone structure weren't very feminine at all, I thought I was looking at a man in a dress.  Finally, as we passed each other, I could see the eyes, the skin and just the general aura of "her" being.  Yes, my final decision was that I was passing a female, a rather unattractive one, but a female nonetheless.

The sequence of that event has stayed with me.  In thinking back, I have considered that she was a transwoman.  I still have no way of ever being certain, but it was something in her eyes and presentation that told me she was female and firmly believed it herself.  Maybe it was the fact that she didn't seem the least bit concerned with what attention I was paying, or that I might be questioning her gender, that made me finally decide that not only was she female, but very likely not a transwoman either.

I can only hope to reach that point someday, of such certainty in myself and my presentation that a close scrutiny and weighing of all my indicators, male or female as they might be, will cause a stranger to make the final choice of my gender as truly female.

Well said.

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said. But like you Gina I spend a lot of time observing all the women I pass during every day and not just the pretty young ones. Yes, there is a massive diversity out there, well beyond the very narrow image projected by our TVs, advertising, magazines, cinema etc.