I cannot stop looking at me on the mirror. All the time I feel I need to go there and check how I am looking, if my hair is not all messed up or if my face is looking more femine than before, if my skin is looking good...

And when I am looking at myself I spend a lot of time just staring at my own face....like ten minutes each time...and I go to the mirror as often as I can, what can be sometimes each 30 minutes!

Furthermore, when I am out of home I really feel naked without a mirror nearby...I terribly feel I need to check if my appearance is good.

This might be because I have small bald areas on the corners of my hair and if the weather is too windy my hair gets all messed up and the bald areas become visible! I hate when this happens! It is not the main reason I need a mirror though.

I know I have a lot of free time and if I was busy with work or something important I wouldn't be doing this...but as I am literally bored at home I end spending a lot of time on the mirror.

Is this "normal" for a girl? I mean, before HRT I thought mirrors were superfluous things, you know? I mean, I know girls are way more concerned about vanity than boys, but this is looking a bit too much for anyone!

Quote from: Natalia on December 05, 2013, 10:29:21 AM
Is this "normal" for a girl?

Welcome to womanhood, sweetie.

I had a friend who was a (female) author. She said she could tell when male authors created female characters because they weren't generally concerned with their appearance.

I look at my web cam all the time to see if my face is changing or putting on make up and looking at myself with make up on.

Quote from: suzifrommd on December 05, 2013, 10:33:38 AMWelcome to womanhood, sweetie.

Yup. Some amount of vanity goes with being a woman.

Even though I'm pretty sure my mirror-gazing is a way to affirm transitioning, it can sometimes feel like too much time. I think it's hard to avoid when you don't have anyone else to give direct input.

Lately, I've been trying to focus more time on daily activities, which were lessened when I began transitioning. I think it's good to feel like I can do anything I previously did as a man. At the same time, I can do a bunch of new things – like cleaning the mirror.

Yea, it's normal, i think I'll be doing the same once i join you girls on transitioning, for now though mirrors=plague.

The hair... always the hair and I try to always keep my boar's hair brush with me! It's different... I even sometimes have that odious habit of looking in the sun visor mirror while driving... and fixing my hair. . . only on straight aways and at fairly low speed, though

I hated seeing myself in the mirror before starting to transition, I didn't look after myself at all.  Nowadays I look after my skin, hair and check my appearance at every available opportunity...I'm definitely developed a touch of vanity!

I look in a mirror when I get ready in the morning. I might check my hair or something again later in the day ifI'm going somewhere interesting, but otherwaise I don't bother. I think looking in the mirror as often as the OP does is well on the way to being too narcissistic..

And to all those saying 'Welcome to womanhood' or similar, thanks for making me feel like less of a woman.. Of course, I'm not less of a woman, I also don't conform to the stereotype in all sorts of ways.

Quote from: Kelly the Post-Trans-Rebel on December 05, 2013, 02:46:13 PM
And to all those saying 'Welcome to womanhood' or similar, thanks for making me feel like less of a woman.. Of course, I'm not less of a woman, I also don't conform to the stereotype in all sorts of ways.

I think more of whats being said is you do that once you start looking like a girl, less of every woman does that.

Like Kelly, I use the mirror for getting ready in the morning or fixing hair before going out.  I also sometimes look for new hair growth on my forehead or to see if there are any changes in the pores on my nose.  I don't just sit and stare at myself, though.

A personal goal of mine is to be bored of myself.  There are far too many interesting and beautiful things out there.

But, yeah, I experience moments like this.  I try to enjoy them and move on.

Quote from: Kelly the Post-Trans-Rebel on December 05, 2013, 02:46:13 PM
I look in a mirror when I get ready in the morning. I might check my hair or something again later in the day ifI'm going somewhere interesting, but otherwaise I don't bother. I think looking in the mirror as often as the OP does is well on the way to being too narcissistic..

And to all those saying 'Welcome to womanhood' or similar, thanks for making me feel like less of a woman.. Of course, I'm not less of a woman, I also don't conform to the stereotype in all sorts of ways.

Actually I agree that this is excessively narcisist...and, of course, I don't expect all women to be this obsessed with their image. But there is a reason for MtFs to be this way while on transition.

When a woman can see herself as a woman on the mirror, there is no need to really check if everything is fine all the time. A MtF that already finished transitioning and can pass as a female don't need to check and analyse if her face is looking feminine or masculine.

But on the first months of HRT people will still look masculine (mostly) and will have a hard time trying to pass as female. I still look at the mirror and see a man...

But each day I see less of a man on my image and this makes me very happy. I think that with a bit of make-up and with a more feminine haircut I already could try passing as a girl (if people don't pay too much attention on me, of course).

Perhaps it is this feeling that makes me spend so much time looking at my own face. I feel good trying to spot the changes, realizing that my image is starting to resemble my soul. I feel that HRT is working and that I am walking on the right direction.

Quote from: Xhianil on December 05, 2013, 02:49:26 PM
I think more of whats being said is you do that once you start looking like a girl, less of every woman does that.

Exactly =)

Quote from: jussmoi4nao on December 05, 2013, 04:29:17 PM
See, now I feel like a bad person cuz that's not what it is for me, at all. Like I said, I did it as a boy, when I was in full transition and looked fully female and passed everyday, and I do it now, and I know that I would no matter what. I guess for me it's just narcissm, cuz I like to look pretty, regardless of where I'm at in terms of gender, and I don't really see why that's such a big deal or why it should be demonized..

It isn't, and it shouldn't be.  There are all kinds of people... some spend more time working on their exterior, to present a pleasing face to the world.  Others don't worry about it as much. 

I can't imagine vanity to be a terrible thing, unless it were to become an obsession.  For a wild example, if someone were to spend the only money they had on hair product rather than food for their starving child, well, *that* would be a bad thing.

I guess, to me, a more sane check would be, "If a friend was in an accident and needed me to come right away, would I stop to check my makeup and hair before rushing to their side?"  As long as that answer is "no", then I guess I won't worry when I check my appearance frequently or fuss over wrinkles.

*hug*

Quote from: JRD on December 05, 2013, 04:34:21 PM
I check my hair and stuff in a mirror a lot. I also have a bad habit of checking myself in the reflection in the glass at the front of our store too. But I'm not as bad as I used to be and I don't worry as much about how I look. In the beginning of my transition, I drove people nuts by asking if I looked ok all the time, lol.  A few got to where they would holler "No, you don't! Now shut up!"   I deserved it...

LOL. Sometimes all I want is a little honesty!

Quote from: JRD on December 05, 2013, 04:41:23 PM
From most people, that's asking way too much.

I think I hold most people to too high a standard.

Quote from: Natalia on December 05, 2013, 04:12:24 PM
Actually I agree that this is excessively narcisist...and, of course, I don't expect all women to be this obsessed with their image. But there is a reason for MtFs to be this way while on transition.

When a woman can see herself as a woman on the mirror, there is no need to really check if everything is fine all the time. A MtF that already finished transitioning and can pass as a female don't need to check and analyse if her face is looking feminine or masculine.

Interesting generalisation.. Pre transition, I simply avoided mirrors at all.. Since I started, I use one to get ready for my day and again if I'm going out anywhere. I was never one to stand and analyse my face, I know what it looks like. I knew my appearance was changing, people told me so.

QuoteBut on the first months of HRT people will still look masculine (mostly) and will have a hard time trying to pass as female. I still look at the mirror and see a man...

I still see a man in the mirror - I know it's a trick of my mind though.

QuoteBut each day I see less of a man on my image and this makes me very happy. I think that with a bit of make-up and with a more feminine haircut I already could try passing as a girl (if people don't pay too much attention on me, of course).

Perhaps it is this feeling that makes me spend so much time looking at my own face. I feel good trying to spot the changes, realizing that my image is starting to resemble my soul. I feel that HRT is working and that I am walking on the right direction.

I guess there are some advantages to not being overly worried about what I look like, I'm more concerned about the person I am.. That said, I'm not totally oblivious to my looks, I'm just realistic about what I've got to work with. Having the attitude, 'I'm a woman - don't like it? There's the door..' is kinda helpful too.

Quote from: Kelly the Post-Trans-Rebel on December 05, 2013, 05:13:28 PM

Interesting generalisation.. Pre transition, I simply avoided mirrors at all.. Since I started, I use one to get ready for my day and again if I'm going out anywhere. I was never one to stand and analyse my face, I know what it looks like. I knew my appearance was changing, people told me so.

I guess there are some advantages to not being overly worried about what I look like, I'm more concerned about the person I am.. That said, I'm not totally oblivious to my looks, I'm just realistic about what I've got to work with. Having the attitude, 'I'm a woman - don't like it? There's the door..' is kinda helpful too.

Well, I think I didn't express myself very well. I didn't have the intention of generalising anything, sorry if it looked like that. I was trying to borrow what looked for me a generalisation made before my post and I ended generalising even more... sorry again, my english really sucks.

But to be sincere, I don't see any problem in being narcisist. It is good to care about you and, of course, being narcisit does not make me someone that is only concerned about image.

Before starting to transition I never cared too much about my image too. I hated what I could see on the other side of the mirror and I avoided it as a vampire avoids sunlight.

I always thought that what really matter is to develop ourselves. That's why I question things a lot, from my gender to religion. I read a lot and I try to learn new perspectives. I am not an intelectual or anything really close to that, but I am way more concerned about learning and being a better person than looking female.

But this not exclude that I want to look female and that I need that to feel good with myself. This is one of the main goals of HRT for me. Feeling good with my body, making my body resemble my mind.

Both things can live together very well.