Hm. Well, I'm attracted to women and feminine men (Traps are hot...). Not really sure why this is most common (if that post on the statistics is to be taken), but oh well.

Quote from: Sophia Hawke on November 24, 2013, 07:34:22 PM
Could a large part of this be, many of us were attracted to women for so long before transition that it continued.  Or? People in relationships with women who stayed together after transition?   And were all of them post transition or on HRT.  Ive heard people say their preference flips with hormones.

Not for me.. From the age of 19-20 up to I came out as trans, I was a gay guy.. I was physically attracted to men. The transition came along.. I fell in love - with a woman. Which forced me to do some introspection - I came to realise that I'd never loved a man, even the one's I'd been in relationships with. I had, however, loved women in my past and it seemed that I continue to do.

Anyone here physically attracted to one gender, but emotionally attracted to the other?

I find myself craving physical contact with females. My body feels magnetised towards towards the female form, all its beauty, refinement and wonder.
Yet I don't seem to gain deeper emotional feelings with female partners, something just feels depressing. I don't like having to tow the line as the conformotive boyfriend and I don't feel fulfilled always having to take the male role during sex. Plus, women are absolutely brilliant at making you feel irrelevant and redundant. I always find I'm having to "prove" myself every minute to "deserve" their attention. So ultimately I end up feeling short changed emotionally and mentally, which probably is a major reason for  not developing deeper feelings for my female partners.

However, with guys, I feel I can open up to certain guys more emotionally wise.  And it feels more rewarding inside. I love the attention they give and I actually feel wanted when courted by a guy. Naturally, I do realise that there is the element of them wanting to get into bed with me, but ultimately they still want me, as opposed to the feeling I get from courting girls, whereby I'm simply a part of some plan of theirs, I'm not desired as such. Yep, I know I sound bitter :p And yes I am, Buuuuut..... even when I wasn't bitter when I was 17, I used to feel oddly elated and happy when I felt closer to a guy I thought was attractive and who was really nice to me. Deep down I'd love to be a girlfriend to a guy. I've been courted by guys and I've really enjoyed it, I feel like I can truly express myself without shame, and I also like to make them happy, so it feels alot less tortured then my relationships with women. But I don't have the same lust for male bodies like I do for female bodies. There isn't that physical drive, that need, to sleep with a guy.

I often feel trapped by my orientation of being physically attracted to women. It's lovely and feels natural but it also keeps me hanging on to being male and all what I hate about the role and my body.

Anyone else experienced this?

   

Heh, I always find strict preferences to be curious. I have some preferences, but they fulfill different needs and wants (which there are quite a few). Otherwise, I'm open to just about anything. Men, women, somewhere inbetween, or outside of all that, MtF, FtM, whatev. If a space alien came down and we got along, and could make it work sexually, I'd give it a go. xD I consider myself pansexual but I'm not even sure if that's inclusive enough.

And for the record, there are a few MtFs and FtMs around here that I find particularly appealing..

My sexuality atm is total mess, but thanks to extra low libido - it does not worry me much. I feel that my affection towards women is dwindling as things which attracted me, or which I admired - they do not have that effect anymore. When I see a couple, I cant actually decide whom I prefer more. When I talk with a woman, it is emotional exchange, free of any sexual contexts. Funny, but all women in my workplace are now much relaxed and open with me.
Guys... dunno... I am interested and thrilled, but unsure if I would be able to see one next to me 24/7/365. Sure, they are absolutely different, they way simplier than women but they have their own unique contribution, energy, dynamics which a woman could never replicate. And they often are fun as hell - and so am I...  They often have their own agenda and they like to push other people the way they want, and I might simply not tolerate such kind of attitude. Besides, I am way too picky and given my looks and background I might never be able to compete with cis-women for a nice guy and seeing that many women here have difficulties to find a decent male specimen (no offense intended, just irony), I might pretty much stay alone till the end of my life.

Eve I've noticed this too.

I thought it might be because so many ladies on here are married or have been so it's just natural that they'ed be lesbian. Honestly until I joined Susan's I never knew of this many mtf lesbians, or married ones at that. All the girls I know are strictly into men including myself. I was dating men long before I started transition so all this is certainly new to me.

Quote from: Ms Grace on December 07, 2013, 01:41:14 PM
Sorry, all this talk about stats and labels and categories and whatnot is all a bit "eh, whatever" to me. I consider myself a sexual human, if I can actually get myself into a loving relationship with another sexual human then I will be very, very happy.

One thing I never see much discussion of is transgender attraction to other trans* people. I know it happens, whether it be m2f & f2m, m2f & m2f, or f2m & f2m. I saw the most gorgeous trans woman in my endo's waiting room a little while back and was smitten. The whole idea of a m2f & m2f relationship spun my head at the time but that's when it came down to me realising that we love who we love, labels be damned!

My former supervisor is a FTM who's ploy and has been in a long term relationship with a MTF. He also sometimes "Plays around" with another FTM friend. When he first told me I couldn't believe it because I'd never known any trans couples before. But they are out there for sure.

Quote from: Kelly the Post-Trans-Rebel on December 07, 2013, 06:29:21 PM
Not for me.. From the age of 19-20 up to I came out as trans, I was a gay guy.. I was physically attracted to men. The transition came along.. I fell in love - with a woman. Which forced me to do some introspection - I came to realise that I'd never loved a man, even the one's I'd been in relationships with. I had, however, loved women in my past and it seemed that I continue to do.

Wow! Thanks for sharing.

Quote from: "I'm Stella Stanhope, and that's why I drink". on December 07, 2013, 06:52:22 PM
I often feel trapped by my orientation of being physically attracted to women. It's lovely and feels natural but it also keeps me hanging on to being male and all what I hate about the role and my body.

Anyone else experienced this?

I've aways liked females for what they are. Since I was like 4. I like everything about them and liked spending as much time with them as possible. They can be crazy though. lol But so can we all.

But I have spent much of my life associating more with girls than guys. I have, and do have male friends, and it's mostly always music related, i.e., we played in bands together. We have little in common outside of music. Even the band I'm in now, some of them must think I'm from Mars. lol But they have gotten used to my appearance. The one very close male friend I have (who is also a musician) is just a nice sensitive (straight) guy. He was one of the first people I told of my transition. I find the majority of men I meet uninteresting and vulgar.  lol The more intelligent they are the better they are as people. But there are lots of dumb guys out there. 

Now I do relate to what you said about hanging on to the male part.. at least with what I have below the belt. I have never hated it, even though I had wished I didn't have one. But it's a nice one and I have enjoyed using it. lol I'll probably get SRS at some point. I have no idea how women would relate to me if they know I'm trans. One of my closest friends is a lesbian, and I could tell she was uncomfortable after I came out to her, but has since accepted it and we seem to be fine. But the whole thing was shocking to her.  She's been my andogious fashion role model and gives me clothes  lol

It's going to be an interesting future for sure.

Quote from: Janae on December 08, 2013, 06:47:34 AMWhen he first told me I couldn't believe it because I'd never known any trans couples before. But they are out there for sure.

I know two, although one of them just broke up.   They are both MtF couples.

Always loved females and everything feminine and loved my wife of 44 years so much that I once told her that I would like to have been her. I've had a few trysts with males but it wasn't what really floats my boat. Had a post op MtF girlfriend, we became too close and it didn't fit into my marriage, besides she was such a drama queen. However if I found myself alone I think my preference may be another MtF partner, one with her head screwed on properly.

I just began dating another trans girl who I've meet in group and I have to say I've been really comfortable with her because there is just that level of understanding we both have about our bodies, especially since we're at similar stages in our transition. For me I definitely do feel safer with another girl and would with another trans person regardless of sex. never mind that I'm queer and prefer femininity over masculinity, it's just one of those good feelings I just have.

Quote from: Riley Skye on December 08, 2013, 12:15:37 PM
I just began dating another trans girl who I've meet in group and I have to say I've been really comfortable with her because there is just that level of understanding we both have about our bodies, especially since we're at similar stages in our transition. For me I definitely do feel safer with another girl and would with another trans person regardless of sex. never mind that I'm queer and prefer femininity over masculinity, it's just one of those good feelings I just have.

Nothing wrong with that Riley, I can relate to your feelings.

Quote from: Shantel on December 08, 2013, 12:03:50 PM
However if I found myself alone I think my preference may be another MtF partner, one with her head screwed on properly.

I agree, Shantel.

I'm always amazed how much better I feel after learning about more diversity in our world.

Quote from: Shantel on December 08, 2013, 12:03:50 PMHowever if I found myself alone I think my preference may be another MtF partner, one with her head screwed on properly.

I've been thinking along these lines too.

I'm just not sure anymore after view all these posts. Is it legal to have a lesbian relationship with your therapist'    What's the term if you like cute little kitty cats.

Quote from: evecrook on December 08, 2013, 01:37:33 PM
I'm just not sure anymore after view all these posts. Is it legal to have a lesbian relationship with your therapist'

It is considered by most standards to be unethical and perhaps damaging to the therapeutic relationship.  Not advisable.


I have been bisexual since childhood and find it is the individual rather than a gender or sexual partner that makes for a meaningful relationship for me.

Now presenting as much more feminine I like the androgyny of "Queer."  I appreciate our predecessors who reclaimed the term from the slur mongers.  Now in transition I find it easier to understand the depth of my attractions without the T factor and consider the "crushes" I once had on some women were more likely admiration and a desire to be them vs. be with them in a sexual context.  I have loved and been loved by men and women and find the biggest differences are more about the individual person than our genitals.

Love, romance and intimacy are so wonderfully intricate and varied for those willing to swim in the rainbow pool.  I have not yet been with a straight identified man but who knows what the future holds?

Dreaming on.............

Quote from: evecrook on December 08, 2013, 01:37:33 PM
I'm just not sure anymore after view all these posts. Is it legal to have a lesbian relationship with your therapist'    What's the term if you like cute little kitty cats.

No it isn't and infact she could very well lose her license as a therapist. I learned in a psychology 101 that the therapist and client cannot have a personal relationship, only professional.

Quote from: "I'm Stella Stanhope, and that's why I drink". on December 07, 2013, 06:52:22 PM
Anyone here physically attracted to one gender, but emotionally attracted to the other?

I find myself craving physical contact with females. My body feels magnetised towards towards the female form, all its beauty, refinement and wonder.
Yet I don't seem to gain deeper emotional feelings with female partners, something just feels depressing. I don't like having to tow the line as the conformotive boyfriend and I don't feel fulfilled always having to take the male role during sex. Plus, women are absolutely brilliant at making you feel irrelevant and redundant. I always find I'm having to "prove" myself every minute to "deserve" their attention. So ultimately I end up feeling short changed emotionally and mentally, which probably is a major reason for  not developing deeper feelings for my female partners.

However, with guys, I feel I can open up to certain guys more emotionally wise.  And it feels more rewarding inside. I love the attention they give and I actually feel wanted when courted by a guy. Naturally, I do realise that there is the element of them wanting to get into bed with me, but ultimately they still want me, as opposed to the feeling I get from courting girls, whereby I'm simply a part of some plan of theirs, I'm not desired as such. Yep, I know I sound bitter :p And yes I am, Buuuuut..... even when I wasn't bitter when I was 17, I used to feel oddly elated and happy when I felt closer to a guy I thought was attractive and who was really nice to me. Deep down I'd love to be a girlfriend to a guy. I've been courted by guys and I've really enjoyed it, I feel like I can truly express myself without shame, and I also like to make them happy, so it feels alot less tortured then my relationships with women. But I don't have the same lust for male bodies like I do for female bodies. There isn't that physical drive, that need, to sleep with a guy.

I often feel trapped by my orientation of being physically attracted to women. It's lovely and feels natural but it also keeps me hanging on to being male and all what I hate about the role and my body.

Anyone else experienced this?

   

Try dating gay women.  Sounds like you were dating straight ones.  Im fairly submissive, and i definately understand the need for someone else to either be in control or the aggressor.   I'm attracted to both(but more to "some" guys).  I'm not sure ill ever let go of dating women(even though i kind of want to).  Although, i suppose as long as i find the dominant partner i seek, im not sure i care what gender they are, as long as they treat me like a lady and with respect.

I don't know if this will help. I know what you mean , but I realized a long time ago that I was pretty much hard core bisexual . I've found love both ways. You just need to find the right person which can be difficult.