I hope someone can calm me. I'm going insane or I don't know...
I'm usually full on testosterone and all the male sh*t as I hate to masturbate. I'm kinda under excessive stress in my everyday life as well.
So, to the point, lately I started watching porn again but it's different now. I'm a lesbian but now I'm watching bi/hetero porn as well. I do not masturbate, I do nothing just watch it and imagine that I'm the girl there. It somehow does sooth me. Also, I don't do it much just when I feel really-really down. What I don't understand is... I'm really a lesbian, I do not like penises at all and yet, I just HAVE to do this.
I don't understand, I'm confused and a bit afraid.

Also, if this is in the wrong place, sorry about that, didn't know where else to post this.

Big hug! You're not crazy. Why does this bother you? Hugs, Devlyn

Well, in the past when I watched porn, I always watched what was right for my orientation, so girl-on-girl action. But now this... And I just don't know why. I don't feel any more attracted to guys in real life, but somehow it feels right watching them have sex with these girls. I don't understand. I just don't.

I don't know if this is going to help ,but I'm bi mtf. I fantasize quite a lot about being female in relation to men, I don't know maybe it 's trying to feel female and really not change your orientation.

Quote from: Shelly Lullaby on December 09, 2013, 12:52:06 PM
Well, in the past when I watched porn, I always watched what was right for my orientation, so girl-on-girl action. But now this... And I just don't know why. I don't feel any more attracted to guys in real life, but somehow it feels right watching them have sex with these girls. I don't understand. I just don't.

It's just entertainment. Wanting to watch any particular type of it doesn't reflect anything on or about you. Hugs, Devlyn

Actually, your answers did help me. I don't know, maybe it was the stress, but I totally freaked out.
Once again I'm really glad I found this place. 

I always thought that lesbians do not have anything against penises, per se. It's the guy who usually comes as an attachment who makes them feel uncomfortable...

Don't worry about it. I'm a straight guy (even had to come out as a 'lesbian' first since I was female, so I had to be damn sure!), and occasionally I get in the mood for gay porn. Can't explain it since I don't really like guys, but watching people have sex is a really different thing from actually engaging in that activity.

this has always bugged me also. irl, I much prefer women to men. they are just sexy and beautiful and i love every bit of the ladies. however, I cannot stand lesbian porn! It is just so silly and fake to me I'm sure there is some out there that I could enjoy, however so far my search has been futile. But the thing is, I very much enjoy gay porn and some hetero porn. tis weird.. well maybe not too weird, since I could go either way.. but still!

I have tried to watch gay porn - but it looks very funny to me. I dunno why though...

I've heard that it is common for straight people to enjoy gay porn and vice versa.  You shouldn't feel guilty about what you are doing.  There is nothing wrong with you.

On a side note, Straight, gay or bi, it doesn't matter.  Just be you.  I notice that a lot of transwomen get hung up on their sexuality.  Honestly, your orientation doesn't matter as long as you are following your heart.  That's what's really important.  So, keep on being you. 

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on December 09, 2013, 03:08:03 PM
I always thought that lesbians do not have anything against penises, per se. It's the guy who usually comes as an attachment who makes them feel uncomfortable...

Well, I don't know. My best friend is actually a dude and okay, he has his flaws, but who doesn't? It's true though, I can't really picture myself living together with a guy as my partner. About the penises... Maybe it's the fact that I do possess one and I really do not want or need it, but I just don't like them. And I say this with actual experience with them.

Quote from: caleb. on December 09, 2013, 03:08:35 PM
Don't worry about it. I'm a straight guy (even had to come out as a 'lesbian' first since I was female, so I had to be damn sure!), and occasionally I get in the mood for gay porn. Can't explain it since I don't really like guys, but watching people have sex is a really different thing from actually engaging in that activity.

I know it's sad but I never actually thought about that this way. You are absolutely right.

Quote from: muffinpants on December 09, 2013, 03:10:57 PM
this has always bugged me also. irl, I much prefer women to men. they are just sexy and beautiful and i love every bit of the ladies. however, I cannot stand lesbian porn! It is just so silly and fake to me I'm sure there is some out there that I could enjoy, however so far my search has been futile. But the thing is, I very much enjoy gay porn and some hetero porn. tis weird.. well maybe not too weird, since I could go either way.. but still!

Actually nice to know I'm not alone with this. 

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on December 09, 2013, 03:11:08 PM
I have tried to watch gay porn - but it looks very funny to me. I dunno why though...

Well, some things cause a few to cry, others to laugh. It's alright this way. 

Quote from: learningtolive on December 09, 2013, 03:14:49 PM
I've heard that it is common for straight people to enjoy gay porn and vice versa.  You shouldn't feel guilty about what you are doing.  There is nothing wrong with you.

On a side note, Straight, gay or bi, it doesn't matter.  Just be you.  I notice that a lot of transwomen get hung up on their sexuality.  Honestly, your orientation doesn't matter as long as you are following your heart.  That's what's really important.  So, keep on being you. 

Motivation before sleep, that's what I needed. Thank you all.