My therapist wants to meet Kelli so immediately I think, "I need a new outfit, boots, and a purse!" Question is what is good to wear for a first meeting? This is the first semi-public meeting for Kelli. I am excited!

Quote from: kellizgirl on December 11, 2013, 12:52:31 PM
My therapist wants to meet Kelli so immediately I think, "I need a new outfit, boots, and a purse!" Question is what is good to wear for a first meeting? This is the first semi-public meeting for Kelli. I am excited!

yikes...do all therapists do this?
If you look anything like your avatar, you have ZERO to worry about!

I know mine wants to meet Phylicia when she's ready to visit her. But I felt the same thing when she told me that. Must go shopping. Lol

Quote from: kellizgirl on December 11, 2013, 12:52:31 PM
My therapist wants to meet Kelli so immediately I think, "I need a new outfit, boots, and a purse!" Question is what is good to wear for a first meeting? This is the first semi-public meeting for Kelli. I am excited!

What does this mean?? You have to play dress- up? Aren't you already 'Kelli'? Have you only met over the phone or email? Please explain. I'm thick.

I'm doing short black skirt , white blouse and low heels.

If you look anything like your avatar, you have ZERO to worry about!
[/quote]
I do not she is what I want to become.

I am Kelli but only have just started my journey,my therapist is just offering me a safe place to be totally myself. I work in a job where if Kelli was know about my future there would most definitely be in jeopardy. I am just starting to realize the damage I have done to myself by trying to force myself into a male role that has never been me.

Your therapists want to see you in girl mode because you aren't going to get very far in transition if you never leave your house that way.  Maybe you don't ever leave the house in girl mode.   Is that good enough for you?

My therapist challenged me to finally go there after three sessions.   I was afraid to even go out my front door to take out the trash at first.  Getting out the front door was my first barrier to cross.  After doing that and being seen by some neighbors without consequence, I worked up the nerve to get in the car and go for a drive a couple of times.   I didn't get out of the car until I got home, but it was still progress.   The day of my session was a bit stressful.  I couldn't sleep, got up early and spent extra time in the mirror with the makeup.   I probably did my eyes three times before they were right.  I put on black tights, a black maxi dress, a black cardigan and cute boots with a 3 inch heel.  I looked like a goth WNBA player and felt like a shaven ape in a dress.  I was only a month on a low dose of E, two months on finasteride and had one laser session at the time.  I'll have to say I wasn't remotely passable.   The good news is that my session was in West Hollywood- LA's gayborhood and nobody so much as batted an eye.   Then again, if people batted eyes in West Hollywood every time they saw something out of the ordinary, they would do nothing but bat eyes all day!  The fact that nothing bad happened spoke volumes to me.  I ended up spending the entire next weekend out of town in girl mode and learning some lessons the hard way.

Going to the therapist in proper attire is an excellent way to do it . I been out in public on and off for quite a while . It feels right  I just started transitioning 2 months ago and told my therapist that I'd like to have a session as me and she was totally in favor of it. It will be a great experience. good luck.

Y'all are starting to scare me a bit now...
I have my third GT session coming up next Monday.  I'm not on HRT yet, but I think that is coming real soon.  Even when I was dressing occasionally - (over 5 years ago) I never dressed in public.  In no way, shape, or form, am I passable at this time.  Yes, I'm definitely working toward that goal, but would absolutely not be at ease in public right now.   

Np , its not that you have to do it, depends on the therapist I guess?

I ve done it once

Quote from: JordanBlue on December 11, 2013, 04:37:59 PM
Y'all are starting to scare me a bit now...
I have my third GT session coming up next Monday.  I'm not on HRT yet, but I think that is coming real soon.  Even when I was dressing occasionally - (over 5 years ago) I never dressed in public.  In no way, shape, or form, am I passable at this time.  Yes, I'm definitely working toward that goal, but would absolutely not be at ease in public right now.   

Jordan.  Don't worry about taking time to transition. 

I was so f'd up when I started therapy that nothing I did made sense.  I was on HRT for seven months, and had three months of therapy before I shaved off a thick beard and started using makeup.  My therapist was on medical leave for several months in the middle of it all, and when she got back I walked into her office without the beard.  I was wearing tight womens slacks, a modest tank top, and a bright white cover shirt along with a white cap.  She was floored, and couldn't believe what I looked like without the beard, old greasy jeans, baggy mens t shirt, and Tony Stewart racing cap. 

You'll get to that point some day and you'll wonder why you waited. 

I can't even look at old pictures from those old days.  Anyway, that guy and his life are gone and obliterated. 

Quote from: JordanBlue on December 11, 2013, 04:37:59 PM
Y'all are starting to scare me a bit now...
I have my third GT session coming up next Monday.  I'm not on HRT yet, but I think that is coming real soon.  Even when I was dressing occasionally - (over 5 years ago) I never dressed in public.  In no way, shape, or form, am I passable at this time.  Yes, I'm definitely working toward that goal, but would absolutely not be at ease in public right now.   

Don't worry, it takes time.  Just over 2 years ago I looked just like Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons.   Now I walk past familiar people unnoticed.

it depends? whats your style? what are you comfortable wearing? my mom told me my first time seeing the state psychiatrist i dressed like i was going to church. the shrink told me next time to dress like i normally would (female) so i dressed like any other 7th grade girl. the Lizzie McGuire look.
i would imagine they are looking for the same thing with you

Just be your natural self.  It took me a long time to become comfortable being myself in public.   There are as many ways of being a female as there are females on this planet.   We, females, are also in many different stages in our lives.     Whatever you do be safe, be comfortable with yourself, and do what you need to take care of yourself.   When we are not comfortable with ourselves it is difficult for others to be comfortable with us.   Only you know what you need to do and how you present yourself as a female you are comfortable in public.    Being yourself at work also needs to be worked out.   How you do this will determine if you keep your job or not.   

It's really hard to know how you will be accepted as a woman in public until you go out in public as yourself.   This all depends on where you life.    There may well be some people who have already figured out that you are a female,  even when you dressed as a male.    Some will be surprised,   and many more than you think will just be indifferent.   The more you are seen as a woman the more that you will be accepted as one or simply as a person that presents yourself as a female.

We cannot control what others think of us and who we are.    The more of our lives we present as a male instead of as a female,  the more people will know we are transgender women, because of the trail we leave behind us in our male identity.

Be kind to yourself and be natural.    Find out which of your fears are real and which are not.   I have found out in life that much of my fears had no basis in reality.   

Lots of luck.

I want to once again thank everyone for their words of encouragement! I have decided on suntan hose, brown skirt, sweater top, and some boots. Ohh and a purse to match. I have finally told a friend the truth and she was very supportive and encouraging. She actually told me to just go ahead and do it. LOL I like her a lot! So with my renewed courage I hope to go shopping today.

I cant help you since I never went to a therapist. Sorry that was just my humor there, onto business.....

Ummm do you leave the house as a boy? I would guess that you do. Next time pay attention to how women dress and that will give you an idea of what you need to wear.

Just my 2 cents.

Katie

It does surprise me that some therapists are apparently either frickin' cruel or have little too much of ideas of what they can force upon other people. I am glad that I dont have to see my therapist on a regular basis and she would never impose any kind of schedule on me. As soon as I will feel comfortable, I will go for that - which will probably be next spring/summer.

For me my Therapist wanted me to come in as a man for the first 5 meetings. I couldn't do it after the second meeting. So on the 3rd meeting I came in as me, Dina. After all that's who I am. He was astounded. His first comment to me after I apologized, was what took you so long. Ha!
As far as what to wear I was always told to wear age appropiate clothing. Now if you're fortunate enough to be younger. The possibilities are endless. If you're 50 something like me I was told to stay out of the juniors section. Screw that I wanna look Hot! Does it work for me? Most of the time. Find the look you're after and experiment. You'll figure it out.

           Dina

I'm glad my therapist never made me do that lol. Not that I would have minded dressing up. In fact, I often felt awkward dressing like a guy and talking about how feminine I am. Kept wondering if he could see through the guy stuff or not. Anyway, I had to walk through a busy part of town to get there, at night... Could have been scary! Most I did was carry a purse.

By wearing skirt and heels, I could save a lot of time in explaining my gender issues to the psychologist. Action is far more effective than talking.

barbie~~