Has anyone out there heard of anyone having a successful transition, after their initial reaction of realizing  they were really GD was along the lines of "NO.  No, that sucks, no no  ARGH Do not want!"

Quote from: particle on December 11, 2013, 12:07:40 PM
Has anyone out there heard of anyone having a successful transition, after their initial reaction of realizing  they were really GD was along the lines of "NO.  No, that sucks, no no  ARGH Do not want!"

Yes. Me.

Less than 18 months ago, idea of wearing women's clothes seemed wacky, the idea of hormones screwing with my body chemistry sounded scary, and the idea of SRS, terrifying.

Now I've been living ecstatically full time for nearly 6 months, on HRT since January, and surgery booked for 6/19/14

I don't think anyone really wants to be a transsexual.  My therapist convinced me to at least try estrogen to see if it helped.   Part of me hoped she was wrong and I that I wouldn't actually have to go through all of this.   Of course she was right on the money and estrogen was the magic bullet for me.   I also wondered if the physical changes would be good or bad for me, but I loved everything it did 100%.     

You don't really know until you try.  If HRT doesn't improve your mood or even makes it worse, then you know it's not for you.

Quote from: suzifrommd on December 11, 2013, 12:12:35 PM
Less than 18 months ago,...  and surgery booked for 6/19/14

I feel like my penis was just given 24 months to live.

I wish you could ask my therapist how I reacted 

I feel so messed up I want to be a woman but I don't want to want it.  Arggh

I didn't choose transition as much as transition chose me.   It was WAY better than my alternatives of going crazy or killing myself.

Quote from: particle on December 11, 2013, 12:26:24 PM
I feel like my penis was just given 24 months to live.

Well you don't HAVE to have SRS. It took me a lot of soul searching before I decided it was right for me. In the end it was a preference more than a necessity. I prefer to be at peace with my body, but I don't hate my current parts and would deal if I had them for the rest of my life.

Yes, me.  I can relate to how you feel because that was me five years ago.  I resisted acknowledging being trans for most of my life and only began moving towards transition after a very serious bout of depression leading to thoughts of suicide.  Despite my fears, started therapy which led to taking hormones to now being full time.  My only regret is that I didn't pursue transition much earlier. 

When did you accept it?  Did something trigger the attitude change?

Acceptance was a slow process for me.  I'm there now, but there was no "one thing" that triggered it.   It was a series of affirmations and milestones.

I'm feeling sick with worry.  I can't bring myself to accept the possibility enough to call a tgerapist.  It feels like a suicide of self

Quote from: particle on December 11, 2013, 03:10:38 PM
I'm feeling sick with worry.  I can't bring myself to accept the possibility enough to call a tgerapist.  It feels like a suicide of self

All the better reason to call the therapist now.   The sooner you do, the sooner relief comes.   Why be miserable any longer than you have to?   The more happiness you can pack into what time you have left, the better your life will be.

Quote from: particle on December 11, 2013, 02:43:17 PM
When did you accept it?  Did something trigger the attitude change?

It was an event that triggered acceptance for me. He asked me who I thought I was fooling, apart from myself. Which caused me to take a long, hard look at things..

Quote from: particle on December 11, 2013, 03:10:38 PM
I'm feeling sick with worry.  I can't bring myself to accept the possibility enough to call a tgerapist.  It feels like a suicide of self

I won't claim to be any where near typical, but who I am hasn't really changed.. I've changed the label and the packaging a little though.

I'm seriously considering trying to run and hide behind a wall of stereotypical male behavior..

My initial response was like "I am totally screwed and this all seems so unfair... This sh..t is for real and is not going to go away, ever." Biggest issue was me not wanting to talk to anyone about this, for that would mean to disclose the biggest secret ever. If I had a gun on that day... oh well.

Note to self:

Overcompensation To-do List

Grow beard.
Intentionally watch football.
Get back to the weightlifting.
Watch marathon of 80's action movies.
Get my wife to make me a sandwich.
Shower and brush my teeth monthly, whether I need it or not.
Keep 10 feet away from all pink things.
Glower at everything.
Laugh only at dick and fart jokes, or people getting hurt.

This is an invincible plan.   Curing GID with macho overload.   How can it fail?  ;-)

Quote from: particle on December 11, 2013, 09:24:44 PM
This is an invincible plan.   Curing GID with macho overload.   How can it fail?  ;-)

A pine box and a 6' hole is likely the result..

No way, I'm way to good at turning into a soulless unfeeling robot.  I'll be a depressed angry shell of a person at least.

:-)