Hey all, it's Maka again. (: I wanted to get your advice and/or opinions on something.

Like many, it is my intention and goal to start hormone therapy, and as soon as I can. I have a problem, that's also a blessing. I'm at the later end of puberty, and being as young as I am, HRT has serious potential effects for me that might not still be present if I have to wait the next few years. That said it puts me on a time crisis. I'm trying not to get rushed about it but at the same time it's still a constant thought in my head. My big road block though is that, being as young as I am, I have to convince mother of it first, and she's not a big fan of it in the first place. But I keep getting the "You're not old enough to make those kinds of life-changing decisions yet" response that comes with it.

She's holding to the idea that my brain isn't mature enough yet, but I don't know if I can handle waiting for my body to mature fully in the wrong direction before I am allowed to take hold of my own future. A year and a half is long time. A lot about my body can change in that time. I just don't want my dysphoria to be getting worse as I grow older anymore. How should I go about talking to mother about this? \:,

Thanks in advance for your thoughts. (:

With Passion, Maka

Hi Maka. Is it possible to schedule an appointment with a therapist and have your mom go with you to learn about Dysphoria? Of course that is if the therapist agrees on that diagnosis. I think getting her involved will assist you a great deal, especially if she has respect for the medical community. Just my opinion as to how to start things out right.

totally agree

check your inbox. sent you a pm 

u shouldn't really worry. u wont change much... atleast I didn't and im 19 and started transitioning at 17, but im still not on hormones. have u seen people that started after 20? they look incredible and not all of them had Facial surgerys so u shouldn't worry so much.

Edit: Let me be honest with u. going to a gender therapist wont make any difference cause if u get a gender therapist like mine then u wont be seeing hormones for awhile cause she will constantly say ur not mature enough to handle the mental changes hormones will do.

Maybe you could convince your mother to let you look into androgen blockers. They will suspend puberty without causing any irreversible changes. Of course, if you can convince her of that possibility, that gets you "into the program" which will be a big help later.

Depending upon your situation, you age may not be an impediment. I was 8 years under legal age when I found a supportive doctor at age 17.

Sadly, I had the same experiences as Angelique in that sense, basically didn't think I was mature enough, or didn't know enough. Granted, our experience is anecdotal, but it is quite a common attitude. Further, some won't see you until 18, for insurance reasons, sadly know that first hand too well.

I've been in your shoes, and my mother gave me the same exact saying at one point, Maka. What did I do? I made the fact that I was/am/will be female now, and I will be forever, with the disaster that was becoming me, physically, emotionally, and in stability. At every opportunity. Obnoxious? Yes. Got the point home? Also yes. She now 100% supports me. While I can't say that will happen with you, sadly, your mother wants to see you be happy, make the right decision. She's worried for you. And if you show that your concerns are rooted in having T surge through you, then just maybe she will see your point.

In fact, you should talk to your mother about her concerns. If you see it from her vantage point, she doesn't want you hurt, wants you healthy. And if you talk with her about her concerns as equal, valid, and worthy of discussion, that, too, is an absolute maturity sign. And you should do it, you have nothing to lose by doing so.

The other idea, outside of your personal push, struggle to be presented, is to show her documentaries, articles, etc. of those around your age (I also did this) starting hormones, to show that it entirely is possible to do so, and that not only is it possible, but how happy, how vibrant these lives seem as a result.

PS: If you're around where I am (New England, USA), I can give you a fair share of resources of doctors who treat specifically TS youth. While it may not be the actual estrogen, given you aren't at age of majority yet, lupron/blockers are an alternative countless times better than the T.

If you have any questions about transitioning relatively young, the medical system under 18 (at least, in the USA), etc. shoot me a PM. I wish you the best with your mother, and while it may seem hard now, the rewards are so, so worth it.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on December 11, 2013, 06:07:15 PM
Hi Maka. Is it possible to schedule an appointment with a therapist and have your mom go with you to learn about Dysphoria? Of course that is if the therapist agrees on that diagnosis. I think getting her involved will assist you a great deal, especially if she has respect for the medical community. Just my opinion as to how to start things out right.

Mother is somewhat involved. It's taken some time but she's becoming more and more okay with me being trans. She lets me go to the pride center for a trans youth group they have and is happy when she sees that it helps me. She's very loving and supportive, she just seems super desperate and determined not to let me change my body. I think she has a sort of view that it's unnatural or self mutilation or sonething like that. We're a very earthy family. She wants me to be able to be happy with who I am now. And I can agree with that I suppose, and I'm getting better at it. But that doesn't change the fact that I want to do this.


And thank you, all of you, for your honesty and support. You are all such kind people. I can't express how greatfull I am. <3

With Passion, Maka

hi there maka! i was pretty much exactly where you are now about 5-6 years ago. here's some stuff that i would suggest you might try that might be able to help.

make the argument that you should be allowed to get on blockers. this was something i was pretty desperate for at the time, for the very same reasons you want to get hrt. the crux of the matter is that it pauses your puberty, wherever it is, and—most importantly—puts off that decision until later. the important thing for the people around you to know, especially your mum since it seems like she's concerned about questions like irreversibility, is that taking blockers, whether an antiandrogen like spironolactone or a GnRH agonist like leuprorelin, will not do anything permanent to your body unless you take them for several years (like > 5) without exogenous hormonal intervention.

i know it's the sort of thing that can be pretty difficult and sensitive when you're underage, and frustratingly a lot of doctors will refuse to treat you until you're 18, but don't give up. i called sixteen endocrinologists before the seventeenth (who lived more than two hours away) told me he'd take me as a patient. it took me about a year and a half after coming out around age 15-16 before my parents, my therapist, and my endocrinologist were all willing to move forward, and i was finally prescribed spironolactone, so by the time i finally started antiandrogens and estrogen i was 17.

it can take a while. i know that it sometimes feels like every day is working against you and taking you further from where you want to be. i've been there and it sucks. sometimes you just need a lot of patience (like, superhuman patience, i seriously went crazy from waiting several times over). i will say that my parents started out just like this, wanting to be supportive but scared of letting me change my body. i trust that they'll come around eventually. it just takes time, which i know sucks to hear because time is the most valuable thing you got, but that's just how it is.

stay strong!

and if you have any more questions feel free to shoot them my way.

hi! I went through the pain your going through growing up. My pain started when I was 4. I've lived with it for a long time because I didn't have your insight and courage to tackle  the problem early on. I was in terrible pain for so long because I couldn't open up about what was inside me. even in college I sought out help for problems I had with a psychiatrist I didn't say a word about my real problem. It took a long time but I finally did face it. You've got time at your side even though you don't see it because of the nature of what's going on in side of you. Your young even though you don't think so. Your lucky you'll change quite rapidly and beautifully .I'm a lot older and quite surprised how much my face and breasts have change In 2 months. I see the woman in my face and it's totally amazing. Just don't worry you'll be quite all right.

A reminder: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.0.html