Quote from: Ravenna on December 14, 2013, 08:21:41 AM
I just woke up from the most awesome/saddest dream ever
I was in a run way show and I was wearing a small red dress and red lipstick
And the runway wound like a snake
And I felt amazing.. But I looked and none of the guys were looking at me
No matter how sexy i tried to walk
So after a while I got so mad I got of the runway and looked in a mirror
And I had no boobs and a broad shoulders and a boyish face with stubble and I felt horrible
And one of the other models (that was beautiful) walked up to me to ask what was wrong
And I shut off the light so she couldnt see me
It was weird but I just woke up and had to post it
:c
It sounds to me like a fear of not passing or ever being seen as pretty. It's okay. My most common dream is of me walking around in public places in the nude. There is always a huge embarrassment and a desire to cover up so know one will see. For me, it's a mixture of my fear of being exposed and having everyone know my secrets and a fear of people seeing detecting my body which I've always been ashamed/embarrassed about. We all have body issues and fear not passing, but there are things we can do to fix it or at least improve upon our situation. You are young and will be able to pass with some work and effort. You can get boobs either through hormones and/or surgery and stubble can be dealt with through laser or electrolysis. Bone structure can't change but there are ways to make it less masculine (like losing muscle mass and dressing in clothing that suits you). And remember, while there are ways to improve our perceived flaws, some things we will have to live with. That's okay. Most people have issues or something they see as a flaw. It's natural and a part of life. That doesn't mean you won't pass or be considered attractive by someone. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not everyone will see us as gorgeous. What's important is that you are happy with the way you look and see yourself in a positive light. That can come through making desired changes and/or accepting what can't be change.
All I want to say is don't let fear dictate your path. Do what's best for you as an individual and follow your heart, whatever that is.
