Things are getting weird. I've been a year on Spiro, first a low dosage and then a standard one along with estradiol. I never notices anything on Spiro alone, and at three months estradiol is when I noticed watery sperm, and gradual loss of erection capabilities (no random ones, less strength, no libido of any kind).

Then, I came off antidepressants. SSRIs on July, and lorazepam just a few weeks ago after constant tapering. As the system cleaned, I noticed that the random erections cane back and morning and night, and soon I started having it easier to get excited with a bit of inspiration.

Yesterday I reached the point of full power again: Complete strength, easy to maintain and lasting (I could not maintain even 5 minutes one month ago. So I wonder, now I'm being able to tell apart the effects on sex of antidepressants and antiandrogens, and it is as if I was having very minor effects from antiandrogens after so much time. Is this normal? The endo saw my T level as OK, and he is putting me on androcur and less estradiol for January.

I'm not sure. To add insult to injury, yesterday I was getting such feel good sensation at the mirror that I ended reconsidering SRS. I have had my share of mirror issues with naked, but yesterday I was even liking what I saw. I don't remember being able to feel like that since before transition. So now I don't know what to think, or if I am choosing the correct path. And worried about androcur having a real effect now compared to espirp.

My MtF-type hormone regimen experience is very limited, but I can say from experience that (I think) Zoloft and maybe another anti-depressant each crushed my libido and screwed up my cognition in general.  Needless to say, I was even more frustrated than before I was on them.  My parents also said that I was in a similar hazy state when I was inappropriately diagnosed with ADD and put on Ritalin (as a kid).

If erections were generally impossible while on spiro/estrogen, surgeons wouldn't bother recommending masturbation to improve the quality of tissue for SRS.  These medications may slow things down, but they plausibly pale in impact compared to certain other drugs (including anti-depressants).  On a positive note, this increased activity should bode well for you regardless of your target sex.  However, you probably want to delay SRS until/unless you become certain again it's right for you.  Also, it's perfectly acceptable to be a woman without SRS (we've even got a few TGs who undergo no transition whatsoever).  We've also got an Androgyne board you can check out if you're not entirely sure you fit in the gender binary (it's handy if picking male or female).

Quote from: Kaelin on December 15, 2013, 11:46:47 AMMy MtF-type hormone regimen experience is very limited, but I can say from experience that (I think) Zoloft and maybe another anti-depressant each crushed my libido and screwed up my cognition in general.  Needless to say, I was even more frustrated than before I was on them.  My parents also said that I was in a similar hazy state when I was inappropriately diagnosed with ADD and put on Ritalin (as a kid).

Interesting; Zoloft made mine increase. I hate taking it, along will all the other antidepressants I'm on because I'm feeling dysphoric and antidepressants are such a great treatment for that

Quote from: Kaelin on December 15, 2013, 11:46:47 AM
However, you probably want to delay SRS until/unless you become certain again it's right for you.

That pisses me off. Until a few months ago I was never so decided about SRS, with the most sincere "Yes" I gave to the endo three days ago. And now... Now Instead of having a source of problems under the leg I'm seeing something that is back alive and kicking to the point of being usable again.

Sure, I could see it as "Better enjoy it if you can while you have it", but what if this delays me more? If things where right maybe in one year I could have the letter (but not the money...), but seeing it actually make me feel good... Let's see how it changes in Androc pur. I don't remember being able to use it twice in a day for... No clue. I don't have the obsessive controlling urge, but it's more like now it's pleasurable again after being brain-castrated for a year.

Quote from: Willow on December 15, 2013, 11:51:46 AM
Interesting; Zoloft made mine increase. I hate taking it, along will all the other antidepressants I'm on because I'm feeling dysphoric and antidepressants are such a great treatment for that

I may not be trans, but let me tell you, if i had an arch-enemy, Zoloft would be it. Trying to convince my psychiatrist to lower my dosage of it to slowly get rid of it.

Quote from: Zóôt Al-Lúrês, Count of Anvil on December 15, 2013, 01:09:48 PM
I may not be trans, but let me tell you, if i had an arch-enemy, Zoloft would be it. Trying to convince my psychiatrist to lower my dosage of it to slowly get rid of it.

I don't take much antidepressants,  in terms of dosage, but I take 3 different ones. Best scenario would be to replace them with Spiro and estradiol. But of course, I'm not authorized to make that call, and wheni get suicial over dysphoria, I just get perscribed more antidepressants, which, if anything, make things worse.

Quote from: Willow on December 15, 2013, 01:37:51 PM
I don't take much antidepressants,  in terms of dosage, but I take 3 different ones. Best scenario would be to replace them with Spiro and estradiol. But of course, I'm not authorized to make that call, and wheni get suicial over dysphoria, I just get perscribed more antidepressants, which, if anything, make things worse.

That's the issue with the gid therapist, too: she keeps forcing me to take antidepressants if I want treatment. In the end I would just lie, because the little benefits they gave where not worth the side effects. I told the end, and he was quite OK with it. (Still remembering when the solution the shrink had for my venlafaxine insomnia was getting me hooked on lorazepam (ativan?) Which ultimately gave me even more issues with tapering it.

Basically with the braking drugs I haven't been able able to properly evaluate the HRT effects until now, since Those drugs directly would mess sex and emotions. I never got estrogen moody until I was clean of citalopram. And same is happening now with espiro and srx: not knowing which one was causing the libido reduction.

Quote from: Dream Is Over on December 15, 2013, 01:48:11 PMThat's the issue with the gid therapist, too: she keeps forcing me to take antidepressants if I want treatment. In the end I would just lie, because the little benefits they gave where not worth the side effects. I told the end, and he was quite OK with it. (Still remembering when the solution the shrink had for my venlafaxine insomnia was getting me hooked on lorazepam (ativan?) Which ultimately gave me even more issues with tapering it.

Basically with the braking drugs I haven't been able able to properly evaluate the HRT effects until now, since Those drugs directly would mess sex and emotions. I never got estrogen moody until I was clean of citalopram. And same is happening now with espiro and srx: not knowing which one was causing the libido reduction.

There's a reason we're chronically unhappy, and it's nothing antidepressants can fix. It's really frustrating when you're stuck at this stage. I'm pretty sure I developed a reliance on clonazepam, which was also prescribed to me as well.
Thanks, docs, for getting us hooked so you can sell us more pills we don't need.

God, I'm sounding like my grandfather.

Ok, false alarm. It may be the fact of no HRT, but soon after I arrived here I went back to genital dysphoria at full power. Now I'm like "if If could do SRS tomorrow, I'd do it".