I will name no names, but I believe an important distinction should be made.
There is more than one type of negativity, and I am very much against lumping them together.
One is internal, to be overcome over time, often with the help of therapy, but also through the accumulation of new experiences that allow one to correct their dark inner dialogue and replace old expectations with new expectations that better fit their new way of being and of seeing things. This site in particular is intended to be a safe forum where people can open up about their internal negativity, and through the support and understanding they gain interacting with others, be healed of it.
Internal negativity can further be divided into pessimism, and self-judgement/self-loathing/self-abuse.
Often the only way we can learn whether our expectations and thoughts are too pessimistic or too optimistic is to try them out in real life, through our own self-realizations and transformations. If anyone has been in group therapy, you will know that the moderator encourages people to talk about their own lives and their own feelings and thoughts, using "I" statements, listening to others, and being both supportive and supported.
Abuse is not tolerated in those circles and doesn't belong here either; judging is a form of abuse when it is applied to others without their request or consent. It is ok to say 'sounds like you are venting; I will not offer advice since you haven't asked for it, but I do want you to know I am listening and I care'.
A second type of negativity is similar to the first, but it is when we project our personal pessimism onto other people, and generalize as if our own fears and own experiences apply to everyone. Words like "never", "doesn't matter anyway", "always" are good indicators. When mixed with words like "you", "they", and "everyone", you've got the projection of pessimism. Because so many of us have experienced deep rejection, isolation, and hardship in our lives, it is easy to project that onto the future for our self and for others. I have seen many people here go from having a deeply pessimistic view about their life and the chances of anyone "like them" for true happiness, to actually finding their own path through the muck and eventually leaving the dark behind them. The reason the whole world seems to change when we do is because we are transforming how we perceive and relate to the whole world.
Another type is the negativity projected onto others by smug, arrogant, hurtful, judging, "transier than thou" "real transsexuals" or "real" this and that, who project their judgments onto others to further marginalize them and put them down. I hope I am not seeing it here. Abusive comments that masquerade as wiser, more experienced, more vaginally-authentic individuals passing judgement on those who haven't or won't go through the same steps and make the same choices they say they have made.
Eventually these folks give up, fade away, or if their abuse is egregious enough, are perma-banned, but they can do incredible damage along the way, as they pop into a support site to pass snide remarks and judgments disguised as wisdom. Sometimes people like this do get help, and after treatment for their NPD, BPD, or other deep-seated psychopathology or judgment-altering substance abuse, will come back and apologize for all the harm they did to others, and try to make amends to the best of their ability. Others stay offensive, unkind, and cruel for life. Channeling one's anger and hate, and projecting it onto the "other" can be a very addictive outlet. Abusers almost always believe "it is for your own good" or "you made me do it".
Personally, I prefer one hundred discouraged, pessimistic, suffering strugglers sharing their feelings, to even one of the abusive "I know better than you know" types.
