This had me tearing up  . I just started to transition at 24 yrs old and I cant stop thinking of how my familys gonna react when I cant hide it anymore

When I watched my wife drive away from our house for the last time I knew that there was no going back. It was real and I had crossed a line.

When your son tells you that you'll never see his children again, ever.

When your other son goes on a 5 minute rampage with every third word being god, every other third word being f***, and every remaining third word being some mish-mash of biblical nonsense.

When you discover that your spouse has just been putting up with you for years because she never considered you more than "a penis and a paycheck".

They say when it comes to downright ugly, family can be the ugliest. Apparently it's true in some cases.

I am thankful for my daughter, who has supported me all along.

Quote from: LizMarie on December 18, 2013, 01:54:40 AM
They say when it comes to downright ugly, family can be the ugliest. Apparently it's true in some cases.

I am thankful for my daughter, who has supported me all along.

((LizMarie))!! ♥

I'm not going to even pretend my family is close to what you experienced (time may tell), but this statement resounds with me. Family is the most difficult. I'm out to management and it was actually pleasant ~ we talked about this, with family. It's harder for them because they're more invested in me as a person. Work people like me, but in a work relationship it doesn't matter in the slightest whether I'm male or female or going from one to the other.

I'm very happy you have your daughter!!

Quote from: Eva Marie on December 18, 2013, 01:34:13 AM
When I watched my wife drive away from our house for the last time I knew thayt there was no going back. It was real and I had crossed a line.

Eva,  I am so sorry for your loss and heartbreak. I wish you lived closer to Michigan. I would invite you for tea by the fire to come and have a good cry with me. We could the celebrate the joy of being ourselves.

Quote from: Antonia J on December 18, 2013, 05:48:15 AM
Eva,  I am so sorry for your loss and heartbreak. I wish you lived closer to Michigan. I would invite you for tea by the fire to come and have a good cry with me. We could the celebrate the joy of being ourselves.

I really appreciate that Toni, and if I ever get  up that way I'll take you up on that offer 

@ Lizmarie, So sorry that your family is hitting so hard. I hope your daughter can help your son find acceptance if not support. It took one of my boys a bit.

Hugs dear lady.

these are some horrid stories and I'm sorry y'all had to go through it. But lately it's real hard for me to not identify with the wives, since I hope to be one more then anything. And kids would be great. It's just if you have committed a lie of omission, hiding your transness, how would you expect a wife to react after finding out you've been deceived for years. I'm not trying to cast blame. But if I found out my husband never trusted me with this type of secret it wouldn't just be the revelaation that hurt but also the years of deception and the epihany that I am not only losing my husband but also the fact I've lost decades I can't get back. It just  seems no one ever talks about the wive's feelings.

I'm not saying I'm better I just could never hide my womanliness. If I could have, I prolly woulda done something similar. I guess I'm lucky I'm so young and don't have to deal with this. But at least a lot of you got to have children. Oh how I want a husband and kids. Maybe my BF will propose!!!!!!!!!!!! Jeez I love him so much.

Joanna-

A lot of us come on this late in life; it hit me when I was 45 and had been married for a very long time, and I also had two kids by then. Before 45? I didn't have a clue although looking back they were there if you knew what to look for.

So yeah I get the guilt of choosing to live and ruining the future my wife and I had planned for many years. It's a hard thing to deal with, but there was no deception.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on December 18, 2013, 02:11:14 PM
these are some horrid stories and I'm sorry y'all had to go through it. But lately it's real hard for me to not identify with the wives, since I hope to be one more then anything. And kids would be great. It's just if you have committed a lie of omission, hiding your transness, how would you expect a wife to react after finding out you've been deceived for years. I'm not trying to cast blame. But if I found out my husband never trusted me with this type of secret it wouldn't just be the revelaation that hurt but also the years of deception and the epihany that I am not only losing my husband but also the fact I've lost decades I can't get back. It just  seems no one ever talks about the wive's feelings.

It is a tragedy for everyone, no doubt. I am 42 yrs old and knew I was different my entire life. However, I always found ways to manage it through staying busy and keeping my mind focused on life around me. Until I had a suicidal episode the summer of 2012 I never really identified as transgender. I just thought I felt like I had two people living inside of me, one who happened to be a girl. I never wanted to be trans, or think about transitioning. I just couldn't make the pieces fit in my brain any more, and my coping mechanisms started to fail. Honestly, if I could have stayed in the closet, kept my life, and lived as I had been for 42 years I would have.

I think the other thing is that growing up in the 70s and 80s there were no places like Susan's or anywhere else to find support. In my area of the country there is a very strong religious right. If the 70s taught you to conform, the Reagan 80s certainly showed you the consequences for being a part of the LGBT community.  It is not easy dealing with relationship issues, and sorting out gender identity for a lot of people, but for many of us over 40 years old we also have been conditioned by a world that was a lot different than the world today, and without any support mechanisms.