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If you married an mtf would you ever have a biological baby with her?

Started by ~RoadToTrista~, December 20, 2013, 12:10:14 AM

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~RoadToTrista~

Assuming you would otherwise be okay with having biological kids if you were both cis. I've thought about it before when wondering about dating an ftm. If she asked you if you wanted to have kids with your eggs would you be okay with it? (not necessarily pregnancy but harvesting them would be very uncomfortable and dysphoric)

Just curious. I randomly found this article about two transpeople who had a baby. (unintentionally)

http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2011/08/redefining-the-family-transgender-couple-gives-birth-to-miracle-baby/
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LordKAT

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Ayden

I'm pretty sure my ovaries are shot. But if my partner and I both wanted kids I'd be happy to donate the egg. As it stands, husband and I don't want kids (and it's not possible on either side). But, I've always felt that if I wanted kids, I would rather adopt.

An old friend of mine was adopted and his story really touched me. He was in and out of foster homes until he was 7 and he felt like no one wanted him. Being adopted meant so much to him that even talking about it at 25, he still teared up. There are so many kids who want a home and are just passed around. I think even if I could have kids I would want to adopt.

Getting pregnant though? No. I couldn't do that.
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Adam (birkin)

Definitely not. I can't imagine going through the whole "harvesting" process.
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thatboyfresh

If my girlfriend was MTF I mean the possibility to have your own biological kids (from both parents) would be awesome if you could handle the process. But I don't think I could do it. Also (off topic) how did the dude not know he was pregnant until the third trimester??
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Alexthecat

Quote from: thatboyfresh on December 20, 2013, 01:54:21 AM
If my girlfriend was MTF I mean the possibility to have your own biological kids (from both parents) would be awesome if you could handle the process. But I don't think I could do it. Also (off topic) how did the dude not know he was pregnant until the third trimester??
He wouldn't have periods due to T and if his stomach didn't blow up like a balloon... Now my question is if the kid will be funky due to getting so much T.

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thatboyfresh

Quote from: Alexthecat on December 20, 2013, 01:58:24 AM
He wouldn't have periods due to T and if his stomach didn't blow up like a balloon... Now my question is if the kid will be funky due to getting so much T.

Crazy how he got pregnant with being on T AND taking "the pill" injections. Don't you have spotting/ bleeding after conception...would that all just go away. And then the other symptoms. Would those also not happen because of the amount of T in the system? I guess if you aren't expecting to be pregnant you might take some of the symptoms as other things.
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wheat thins are delicious

Quote from: thatboyfresh on December 20, 2013, 01:54:21 AM
Also (off topic) how did the dude not know he was pregnant until the third trimester??

It's more common than you think that people go through a whole pregnancy without knowing.  I work with a woman who didn't know she was pregnant until she thought she had to go to the bathroom and realized she was actually in labor. 


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Frank

It took me two minutes to realize what the question meant. No. Besides that, there's a lot of kids running around without parents that need 'em.
-Frank
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Natkat

like that boy fresh I would mostly want to adopt,
then donate egg if needed and last posibility is pregnacy,
but I do belive it takes alot of mentality to go thou and im not sure I could do that.
----
Speaking of donating eggs I dont see how it would be helpfull to donate eggs for a mtf?????
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assorted_human

I would definitely consider it, but we'd have to find a surrogate because I'd rather die than be pregnant (one of the lesser thought of reasons I throw out when talking pro-choice to the right people). If we didn't have a surrogate then adoption is a good way to go. But I kind of like the idea of having my own kid if I were to have one...in theory...since I never actually plan to have any.
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verkatzt

I know a guy who's socially transitioned, but not physically because he's still breastfeeding his second child.  He and his husband wanted kids badly enough that he decided the dysphoria was worth it.  Being a parent means a lot to him.  I'm kind of in awe that he could cope with the dysphoria enough, but I suppose if you want something bad enough it's worth the price...
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AdamMLP

Nope, I couldn't deal with the dysphoria, and I wouldn't take the risk of passing anything which may be flawed in my genes on to my children.  We don't know what causes depression or transsexualism, and I wouldn't want to take that risk.
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Darrin Scott

Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on December 20, 2013, 02:04:04 PM
It's more common than you think that people go through a whole pregnancy without knowing.  I work with a woman who didn't know she was pregnant until she thought she had to go to the bathroom and realized she was actually in labor.

There is a show about this as well.





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Simon

I've had a hysto so it'd be impossible but if it was a possibility there is no way I would do it. The transguys you hear of having babies during/after transition are the exception not the rule...so I wouldn't assume that it'd be a possibility with any transman you date.
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Nygeel

I want kids, but don't think it's important that my children are genetically mine. I plan on adopting kids that are queer or trans.
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Missy~rmdlm

These stories strike me as fishy. It appears that FtMs rarely go sterile from T.  That's probably just perception, but this keeps happening. Then there is the MtF involved. Again why would there be an assumption of sterility? I have a T level of 4 as of a few days ago...So that has little to do with sperm! It's my assumption to use BC until a person wants children or otherwise proven infertile. It's not rocket science. I have no kids. I have no assumption of sterility. It's not a miracle.
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Tossu-sama

No I wouldn't. If I ever even wanted to have kids at all, I would consider adoption because there are so many children in the world without parents.
And I really don't want to pass panic disorder any further, it runs in my family.

But all in all I don't want kids. This world is overpopulated as it is now.
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aleon515

Think it is more the exception. Some guys have become pregnant really early in their transition, but I think if you had someone who was on T for a year or more, it's going to not be so likely. Not sure re: if sterility necessarily happens, but just because you hear of a few cases doesn't mean it's common.

I would be too dysphoric for this, although I'm a bit old for it anyway.

--Jay
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Jack_M

Quote from: Missy~rmdlm on December 22, 2013, 01:34:38 PM
These stories strike me as fishy. It appears that FtMs rarely go sterile from T.  That's probably just perception, but this keeps happening. Then there is the MtF involved. Again why would there be an assumption of sterility? I have a T level of 4 as of a few days ago...So that has little to do with sperm! It's my assumption to use BC until a person wants children or otherwise proven infertile. It's not rocket science. I have no kids. I have no assumption of sterility. It's not a miracle.

The majority, while on T, are actually sterile, that's just medical fact really.  I don't know where you get the idea that pregnant transmen are common though.  Where does this "keep happening"?  It's not like it's noteworthy for guys to come out and constantly say "I'm not pregnant, guys!"  To compare, homosexuals make up a small percentage of the population but it you were to go off noted examples, we don't have news reports for famous people coming out as straight and so on.  In terms of news, more people come out saying they're gay than straight, so is the world more gay than straight these days?  What we see as noted examples or news worthy articles are always exceptional cases as opposed to the every day "norm" as that's not worth hearing about.  Every day people die from violence, but billions more live without any violence occurring.  A tornado kills a few folks in one city while billions live without weather affecting them negatively.  We talk about the former examples, not the normal, every day cases.

It's actually more perceived for it to be far more common for FTMs to be adverse to pregnancy and, as such, take precautions, as recommended, to avoid pregnancy all together, even on T where it's less likely, though never guaranteed.  It's harmful for the baby to be taking T while pregnant too so a lot of the cases of pregnant transmen are planned, so they stop T and let their internal bodies go back to female (chemically speaking) in order to bring back menstruation and at least the chance to get pregnant.  And to go even further, penetrative sex isn't something all FTMs are into.  I don't want to speak out of place, but purely based on my own experience, there's far more adverse to it that I know than welcome to the idea.  So when you add it all up, the number of transguys on T, getting pregnant by accident is actually very few and extremely uncommon.

But anyway, menstruation is a major part of the ovulation cycle along with temperature fluctuations (flushes) that help mark particular stages, and T overwhelms the estrogen production.  We lose menstruation and those temperature fluctuations as a result of the dominant hormone (T) overrunning the system and thereby reducing the estrogen production and thus circulation in the body which thereby stops the cycle or at least affect cycle efficiency early on.  This is why, while MTFs still have testes, they require T blockers (and by the way, less T does actually affect virility, as T is a vital part of Spermatogenesis so the sperm quality is affected with HRT).  By comparison FTMs don't need to block estrogen, we just need the T itself and that's like 2 birds with one stone.  Even after a hysto, it's very often the case that T doses either don't change or change by very little.  So you can't really properly compare virility of FTMs with MTFs because it's an entirely different process for change.  At low levels of T, there can still be enough to allow Spermatogenesis to occur to sufficient levels to keep virility, but for FTMs, mensturation cessations affects the very cycle required for successful fertilisation to occur and that is why T can cause the irreversible loss of virility.  And within months can render the person infertile.  They can go off HRT with the chance fertility comes back (length of time on T can make a difference here but everyone's different), but while on T, the number of guys having unprotected, penetrative sex that results in a unplanned pregnancy are very much in the minority.

But for the OPs question: me, personally, not a chance in hell!  And I agree with Simon, this sort of situation should be seen more as an exception than a rule.  I don't think any MTF should entertain the hope that being with a FTM could be a way to have baby together with both parts DNA.  Not to say it can't happen, as it obviously can, but it's catering to a very specific set of individuals in what's already a small pool of people.  The odds aren't in your favour with that one.
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