Hi people,

I'm someone who has very recently begun to try to sort out who I am. I was assigned male at birth, but never felt like I identified as male. For well over two decades I've lived with these thoughts until I very recently came out to a very close friend (who is absolutely great and supportive). I'm not sure how I identify, as this is all very new to me, but I was glad to see this website and resource is available. It has been a very intense month or so for me, but it feels great to finally feel like I am moving towards being myself.

I've felt a lot of pressure my whole life to appear as male as any other male. My childhood was pretty terrible, and I was bullied a lot. I've never really let myself explore and experiment with things I had always wanted to do (i.e. appear more feminine). I also have had a lot of issues checking myself to make sure I didn't accidentally walk/gesture/speak in a less masculine or more feminine manner.

Anyway, I'm not really sure what to put in this kind of intro thing. So anyway, hi!   

Wish to welcome you to the forum. I hope you come to find what you are looking for. Lots of luck on walking this new path in your life.

Izzy

Hi Thylacin, welcome!

You are among people who know exactly what you mean about being pressured to walk, talk, dress, and just about everything in an assigned gender.  Now (for me at least) the challenge is to undo all the brainwashing.  You express yourself well; it looks like a great intro to me.

Thank you
The brainwashing is a lot to go through, and I feel as though I've cemented it in mostly during the last several years. I've felt great during this last month though. I even did a few things for myself that were just sort of ways to feel more like what would generally be considered feminine, like shaved my legs, shaved my face and sideburns clean, and stopped biting my nails and let them grow out (a bad habit I had for about 18 years!) and I've felt more confident and less socially anxious than ever!  In fact, I would have felt like I would have needed to be ashamed of certain things before, which is really awful. Our society has such terrible attitudes about gender.

I'm new here too, and I did those things you mentioned about 3-4 months ago.  A couple other things that I did were buying and using beauty products like moisturizers, exfoliators, manicure set, nail strengthener, hair care products, lip balm etc.

I went beyond that with women's clothes, shoes, makeup, women's glasses, and so on, but I don't know if you're comfortable with those things.  The items in the first paragraph are things one can generally get away with while still presenting as male if that's more comfortable to you. 

Of course, you don't have to do anything at all.  Freedom of choice is a wonderful thing.

Oh yeah! I forgot. I've also been doing those things. Exfoliating, moisturizing, taking care of my skin etc. I tried to paint my nails, but it was very hard, especially since I don't know what I'm doing, haha. I've also removed my thick arm/chest hair. I would like to try more androgynous clothing, and also eventually women's clothing, and the good friend I came out to wants to go shopping with me. It's all baby steps right now. Last week I was afraid someone in class would notice my non-hairy arms, so I kept wearing long sleeves, but even my friend didn't notice last time I saw her.  I think I'm probably my worst enemy when it comes to this, hehe

Quote from: Thylacin on September 16, 2013, 10:15:32 PM
I think I'm probably my worst enemy when it comes to this, hehe

That's familiar sounding.  The first time I went to the local convenience store with my new earrings I hid them in my pocket before going in, but I'm not very brave, which just makes everything more challenging.  I'm trying to be more confident because I think the world is more accepting if you believe in yourself.

Hi Thylacin,

Welcome to our little family. Over 7585. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

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Janet  )O(

A very warm welcome to you, Thylacin.  Androgynous is a good place to start.

So at the advice of my therapist I saw my doctor today and spoke to him about what I've been going through for the last few weeks. He was extremely supportive, and gave me a list of resources. He has a lot of experience working with transgender people. Apparently there are a good number of other doctors in my area who have experience with people transitioning.
He also told me that requirements for hormones are far more liberal than they once were (and than what I expected), and that the only thing he would strongly recommend is a letter from a therapist. Of course, I am taking my time before committing to transitioning, but at least I feel like I have less to stress about now. It was a very good visit!

That's great news!

Quote from: Thylacin on September 16, 2013, 09:17:23 PM
Hi people,

I'm someone who has very recently begun to try to sort out who I am. I was assigned male at birth, but never felt like I identified as male. For well over two decades I've lived with these thoughts until I very recently came out to a very close friend (who is absolutely great and supportive). I'm not sure how I identify, as this is all very new to me, but I was glad to see this website and resource is available. It has been a very intense month or so for me, but it feels great to finally feel like I am moving towards being myself.

I've felt a lot of pressure my whole life to appear as male as any other male. My childhood was pretty terrible, and I was bullied a lot. I've never really let myself explore and experiment with things I had always wanted to do (i.e. appear more feminine). I also have had a lot of issues checking myself to make sure I didn't accidentally walk/gesture/speak in a less masculine or more feminine manner.

Anyway, I'm not really sure what to put in this kind of intro thing. So anyway, hi!   

I hope I'm not breaking any rules by reviving my own old introduction thread!

But I just wanted to post that therapy and visits with my doctor have been super productive. Since my intro post, I've begun laser hair removal for my facial hair, and, much more importantly, as of today, have begun HRT . The excitement and happiness is almost overwhelming! Also, anxious and scared about things I've heard about like soreness/tenderness and emotional swings. Ah!

Congratulations! It seems like you're in a good place to start the new year! 

Hi! I missed you the first time around, so I'm glad you bumped the thread! Also glad you're moving forward. Hugs, Devlyn