First my mother lies to me about being able to get help at the age of 12, tells me no one will even talk to me about this until I'm 21. Over a decade later and many therapists and much emotional angst, I think she is lying to me again, if she hadn't already been all these years!

Ok, my sister has a Islamic friend from Iraq, family loves him, enough that I'm given every threat should I let him know about me. It would be offensive. So I wear an uncomfortable sports bra almost constantly to hide this from him. Turns out he noticed it day one and no one told me for over a month that he supposedly knew about me. Yes I said supposedly.

Last night me and my lady friend went with my sister and her two friends, including this particular friend to a game of mini golf. Now I have been sporadically trying to get my family to use my new name. They don't but this guy asks e why I keep asking to be called Angel. I told him it was because I was trying to get my name changed, and he was blown away. He had no idea at all of why I was doing that. Now he is not a dumb guy, full honors and all in th e college, and he hadn't the slightest clue, I even asked him if sis had talked to him about my condition and he said no, what condition?

So how am I supposed to trust my mother, who was the one who told me that he knew? The reason my lady friend even knows about me is because of this lie. Luckily she is very accepting, but she wasn't supposed to know about this for some time! But how many times was my mother told about this from all those psychiatrists and ignored it? How many chances did she have to talk to me about this and pass by? How many chances did I have at a relatively normal life and she ignored it? How can I trust any of my family after this?

I know what you mean on the trust portion, I cant say I trust any of my family as much as I should.

I guess the main thing is, you cant trust family if they threaten you in the slightest way, because who is anyone to threaten someone else?

well thats what I've learned, and where does anything say what finds what offensive in this case? just because someone is from a certain place/country doesn't mean they are the same as that country.

I cant trust my family nearly as much as I thought I could, but that doesn't mean you should not trust your family, even if they make threats toward you. (meaning what I've learned is probly wrong)
its ultimately up to you on who you trust, but I wouldn't trust your family from the sounds of your situation, but I am probly wrong on the matter.

sorry what I said is so indecisive... despite I guess the only thing I can say otherwise is good luck, and I hope my words help even in the smallest way.

I'm beginning to trust my family a lot more. I always knew they loved me and wanted what's best for me, but I thought that they didn't know what was best for me because they ignored parts of me. However, I'm beginning to feel that they actually do know me well enough to know what's best for me, but what they don't know yet is that I have to discover what's best for me myself, and not be told.

Do not depend on the kindness of strangers, and certainly not your family.  100 years ago my family would have locked me in the attick and stuck a tray under the door every once in awhile.  They say "we love you just as you are". Then why am I the only family member that is never invited to weddings, graduations, etc.  Depend on yourself as you are really the only one you can trust.   
This after 40 years from date of surgury in 1967