Quote from: glendagladwitch on September 13, 2010, 08:29:49 AM
I know one transitioner who recently related that she met up with some former coworkers (from a place where she transitioned so they knew), for some drinks after work, and the women all ordered beer.  Then one of the men commented to the transitioenr that it wasn't a very feminine drink.  She pointed to the other women and remarked, "I don't see you telling them that."  It's a double stabdard for women, a triple standard for transitioners.

That sounds like a rather mean wind up

Ha ha,

reminds me of a story I heard from one of the first male nurses in Denmark. During the fifties he was told to cut his hair for hygiejnic reasons by one of the doctors. He just turned around and said: Sure, as soon as you tell all the girls to do so too



Tippe

Quote from: Tippe on September 13, 2010, 09:52:39 AM
During the fifties he was told to cut his hair for hygiejnic reasons by one of the doctors. He just turned around and said: Sure, as soon as you tell all the girls to do so too
Tippe

But ... boy hair is made from puppy dog tails, while girl hair is made from everything nice.  Everyone knows that. 

Quote from: glendagladwitch on September 13, 2010, 08:29:49 AM
I know one transitioner who recently related that she met up with some former coworkers (from a place where she transitioned so they knew), for some drinks after work, and the women all ordered beer.  Then one of the men commented to the transitioenr that it wasn't a very feminine drink.  She pointed to the other women and remarked, "I don't see you telling them that."  It's a double stabdard for women, a triple standard for transitioners.

When I trained as a bar person, more years ago than I wish to think, the training was make the ladies a nice lager/ beer and decorate it with some fruit etc. That way they will still feel feminine having a glass of beer. Then my first placement was in the (UK) Liverpool dock lands area. Put a piece of fruit in a womens glass and it would end up sideways in your rhyming word.


Cindy

Quote from: CindyJames on September 14, 2010, 03:43:27 AM
Put a piece of fruit in a womens glass and it would end up sideways in your rhyming word.

ROFLMAO!

Now I've just gone and spray painted my wall with coffee. Your posts should sometimes carry a comedy warning!

Quote from: glendagladwitch on September 13, 2010, 06:44:55 PM
But ... boy hair is made from puppy dog tails, while girl hair is made from everything nice.  Everyone knows that. 

That's so true HRT turned my puppy tale into a pony tale. Huge improvement


Tippe

Presenting male I used to feel like a wimp when I asked for a glass to go with my bottle of beer (and would get some funny looks).  Now I live in a place where, as a woman, I still have to ask for a glass to go with my bottle of beer but no longer get the funny looks.   And Britney: The guys at the shooting range are very nice to me, since I'm one of the few women who go out there.

Back to the topic: I'm really sorry to hear about the troubles so many of you have had with the mental health professionals.  I was very lucky.  I never had to prove anything, dressed in jeans most of my RLE the same as most women around here do, talked about trying to fit into my new role, and got some help along the way.  There are some good, accepting, helpful therapists and counselors out there.  Keep looking and you will find one.

- Kate

Quote from: K8 on September 14, 2010, 08:19:41 AM
Presenting male I used to feel like a wimp when I asked for a glass to go with my bottle of beer (and would get some funny looks).  Now I live in a place where, as a woman, I still have to ask for a glass to go with my bottle of beer but no longer get the funny looks.   And Britney: The guys at the shooting range are very nice to me, since I'm one of the few women who go out there.

I learnt that from my dad - I always ask for a glass with beer (I don't drink it anymore, but hey)- he's English, and it's an English thing, so you would have felt right at home buying beer in England when you used to present as a guy! I feel horrid drinking beer from the bottle!

I've also been really lucky with psychiatrists and therapists. I still present as a guy, and I had hrt approval from my psychiatrist after just three sessions with him - it was absolutely no problem - he does specialize in trans people and gay people, so he is very understanding. The only drawback is that he costs a fortune - $300 for a 50 minute session! I am not made of $$$ so don't see him very often!

Quote from: glendagladwitch on September 13, 2010, 08:29:49 AM
I know one transitioner who recently related that she met up with some former coworkers (from a place where she transitioned so they knew), for some drinks after work, and the women all ordered beer.  Then one of the men commented to the transitioenr that it wasn't a very feminine drink.  She pointed to the other women and remarked, "I don't see you telling them that."  It's a double standard for women, a triple standard for transitioners.

It is unthoughtful for a person to make a remark like that, a simple moment of reason or a look around should be enough for him to realize. But are you sure this comment was intended to be negative? Some things that are percieved as rude can actually be said with good (or neutral) intentions, it is just dependant on the way you look at things. As for me, I said something similar once. A slip of the tongue which was meant as a neutral remark but was interpreted as negative.
Why should beer be a masculine drink? Where I live it is normal to get a moist glass when you order a beer.

I think I've had a good experience with psychiatrists for the most part, but I've dealt with a couple of different issues that probably confused my problem. Early on in my life I was an lsd user and kind of blew my brain apart. It took awhile for  them to sew back my mind ,They did a good job. The problem was that the true problem was my gender which got obscured by the drugs. I did have a terrible psychologist while I was going to one school who really didn't seem to know what the hell he was doing and this was in an academic setting. I spent 4 years once a week seeing him and crying each session because I was in so much pain and didn't know why. After this experience I gave up on therapy and spent the time trying to heal myself. I thought I was doing pretty good until I realized I still had this incredible pain inside of me .I lost my job and completely broke down ending up in the suicide prevention floor at the hospital. I finally told the psychiatrist that I wanted to be a woman. The hospital got me into therapy with a fantastic female therapist and I started HRT and I've been quite happy ever since. You just need to find the right therapist . they are out there.

Quote from: Cindy on September 09, 2010, 04:32:55 AM
Jenny and others are of course totally correct.

But medical fields specialize,  I could make many medical jokes at this point but I wont. Psychiatrists are the same. There are two in Adelaide who are specialized in GID, you can get referred  to any one you wish but the others may not have an interest or an understanding of GID. They will treat you as a patient with unknown pathology.  I heard of one who had his, hopefully first and last MtF,  prescribe, "Take up manly pursuits, running and footy, if you have these fantasies have a cold shower to clear the mind" . He was only recently registered (past five years). So the level of understanding you obtain can be very variable.   

I also agree with lilacwomen, there are guidelines, but some Psych's have never heard of them, because it isn't an area of interest to them.

Cindy

How is this not a violation of professional ethics? How would the college respond to this?

While I'm sure there are some decent psychs out there, there are plenty that are self-important bores who likely do more damage than good.

The psych I went to was fairly harmless, but also ineffectual. If I had to rely on him for anything other than signing off on my receiving HRT, I think I would've been in trouble. He too was pompous and when he wasn't being condescending he was off on some unrelated tangent about his own career. And while he wasn't abrasive or rude in an overt sense (quite polite, actually), he had zero interest in knowing anything about me. I suspected from the start that he was always going to approve my request for HRT, so maybe he was just filling in our sessions with waffle. The feeling I got from him was that there's no hard evidence one way or the other regarding gender perception, so who was he to stop someone from taking hormones. He actually lectures on GID (ethics and practice) and what he said regarding his and his colleagues understanding of the subject left me despairing. At least they are trying?

I think the area of mental health is still very much in its infancy (and will remain so until there's a more comprehensive understanding of brain function), so the way psychs interact with patients is incredibly wide-ranging. So while there may be systems in place, it's the personality of the psych that shines through the strongest, because there just isn't enough science behind what they do. I once had a psych who told me after just two sessions that she thought I would definitely, absolutely transition. Now what on earth could she have based that "diagnosis" on, seriously?

1, report the doctor to your state's medical board. If for no other reason, he has no business treating transexuals. 2, It upsets me that our community believes they need letters to start HRT, get FFS, or even SRS. As your story illustrates, there is no objective standard binding doctors and their treartment. The application of subjective opinion to an objective anomaly makes no sense.

In the cis-gendend community a plastic surgeon doesn't demand a psychological evaluation to do a bleph, septoplasty, cheek, butt, and breast implants. But if you're trans, you need a letter? Clearly, from our first visit we're mental ill, until proven otherwise.

The truth is, the medical community still refuses to treat GD as a genetic a anomaly. With all but one exception, every physician I know doesn't get it. A pediatrician I know and used to be close to asked what I was going to do with my penis. Another pediatrician who has been practicing 40+ years said she could walk with me on the Venice boardwalk because she feared that I would get attacked for using a public restroom. Another told me if I was gay, or a x-cross dresser.

Quote from: DrZoey on December 26, 2013, 04:36:45 PM
1, report the doctor to your state's medical board. If for no other reason, he has no business treating transexuals. 2, It upsets me that our community believes they need letters to start HRT, get FFS, or even SRS. As your story illustrates, there is no objective standard binding doctors and their treartment. The application of subjective opinion to an objective anomaly makes no sense.

In the cis-gendend community a plastic surgeon doesn't demand a psychological evaluation to do a bleph, septoplasty, cheek, butt, and breast implants. But if you're trans, you need a letter? Clearly, from our first visit we're mental ill, until proven otherwise.

The truth is, the medical community still refuses to treat GD as a genetic a anomaly. With all but one exception, every physician I know doesn't get it. A pediatrician I know and used to be close to asked what I was going to do with my penis. Another pediatrician who has been practicing 40+ years said she could walk with me on the Venice boardwalk because she feared that I would get attacked for using a public restroom. Another told me if I was gay, or a x-cross dresser.

They can't  separate their baggage from their oath to heal.

Quote from: JessicaR on September 08, 2010, 10:13:40 PM
Ugh..

  I was referred to my (former) psych by my therapist; She said that  he had treated Transsexual patients before. I should have walked away after the first appointment when he pointed out everything in my experience that he perceived as "more of a guy thing." While talking about my substance abuse I said that I liked beer... he said that I should like sweeter drinks; I talked about my persistent suicidal thoughts and he stated that, "Women generally choose less lethal means of killing themselves."
  I hoped that we would eventually develop a relationship and discuss my desire for surgery... He seemed to think that my being Transsexual had nothing to do with my depression. He also seemed unnecessarily concerned with my breast development... I don't see how whether I was wearing a bra or not had anything to do with my treatment, but he asked. He gave me the creeps.
  I didn't see him for awhile; I attended an outpatient treatment program for depression and anxiety a few months ago. Thanks to some very caring staff and a superlative treatment program, I now feel much more equipped to deal with life in general. I'm off meds and feel better than I have in years! I made an appointment with the very peculiar Dr. Kisch to ask if he would compose the very short letter that would allow me to obtain a passport with an "F" instead of an "M." He stated, "I balk at your request." He suggested that I was abusing his services. He stated that, even though I reported feeling well, I should be on medication. He was pompous, condescending and generally didn't seem to give a damn about the state of my well being.... only that I was apparently asking for something so unreasonable.... and it violated his supreme authority as a doctor.  I fired him.
  Thankfully, my therapist has given her endorsement and is currently composing my authorization letter for surgery... I'll have the "F"  .... it'll just have to wait a little longer. 
   This was my fourth psychiatrist.... They were all freaking creepy! I'm left with the feeling that their training somehow leaves them incapable of compassion. The one before refused to acknowledge my Transsexuality and perceived it as a lifestyle choice.  I'm DONE with psychiatry! I'm angry, dissapointed and frustrated..

..........Just had to vent

Sounds like you diagnosed his issues much better than he diagnosed yours.... you should have sent him a bill. 

Almost every medium to large community has a LGBT center. I highly suggest contacting them for psychologist suggestions. I also suggest contacting them when looking for a GP.

Knowing you are seeing an advocate can save time.

We no longer need to see a shrink to get HRT, but it can be quite helpful for many of us.

My local LBGT group suggested my psychologist, and before I even saw him, he, over the phone, listed every local doctor who practiced informed consent. I was able to choose my doctor and see him independantly of my psychologist, and within a week I'd had my blood tested and began HRT. I have been seeing the psychologist ever since. Funny thing is I can't remember being in such good head space for such an extended time (you know if HRT works for you), so my psychologist has never seen the depressed Tori who sceduled an appointment in the first place.

Quote from: JessicaR on September 08, 2010, 10:13:40 PM
Ugh..

  I was referred to my (former) psych by my therapist; She said that  he had treated Transsexual patients before. I should have walked away after the first appointment when he pointed out everything in my experience that he perceived as "more of a guy thing." While talking about my substance abuse I said that I liked beer... he said that I should like sweeter drinks; I talked about my persistent suicidal thoughts and he stated that, "Women generally choose less lethal means of killing themselves."
  I hoped that we would eventually develop a relationship and discuss my desire for surgery... He seemed to think that my being Transsexual had nothing to do with my depression. He also seemed unnecessarily concerned with my breast development... I don't see how whether I was wearing a bra or not had anything to do with my treatment, but he asked. He gave me the creeps.
  I didn't see him for awhile; I attended an outpatient treatment program for depression and anxiety a few months ago. Thanks to some very caring staff and a superlative treatment program, I now feel much more equipped to deal with life in general. I'm off meds and feel better than I have in years! I made an appointment with the very peculiar Dr. Kisch to ask if he would compose the very short letter that would allow me to obtain a passport with an "F" instead of an "M." He stated, "I balk at your request." He suggested that I was abusing his services. He stated that, even though I reported feeling well, I should be on medication. He was pompous, condescending and generally didn't seem to give a damn about the state of my well being.... only that I was apparently asking for something so unreasonable.... and it violated his supreme authority as a doctor.  I fired him.
  Thankfully, my therapist has given her endorsement and is currently composing my authorization letter for surgery... I'll have the "F"  .... it'll just have to wait a little longer. 
   This was my fourth psychiatrist.... They were all freaking creepy! I'm left with the feeling that their training somehow leaves them incapable of compassion. The one before refused to acknowledge my Transsexuality and perceived it as a lifestyle choice.  I'm DONE with psychiatry! I'm angry, dissapointed and frustrated..

..........Just had to vent

I just posted at another psychiatric thread.  I saw much the same basic story come out.  I'm pretty alarmed at what the psychiatric profession's pumping out at transitioning members of the community.

Ask creepy/condescending psychiatrists questions, before you move on, to empower you and make them self-reflect:

--so doctor, are you suggesting that our parental system of laws that places you as gatekeeper over my fate isn't a potentially iatrogenic one, for that group of clients who certainly do know what they are doing because they have the sense of self to know what's best for themselves?

iatrogenic means 'harm-causing services'.  What he did was harm-causing.  You don't cite gender stats about 'lethality of method of self-harm' to a person in care, except for very special instances.  You don't make sexist comments.  You don't make service provision about you-the-therapist, you make it about you-the-client.  He applied his authority without empathy.  I wasn't even there and I want to wash when I read your post.

kind regards
stav

   oh lord talk about nerve wracking.

I live in the US and have had bad experiences with psychiatrists and Psycologists. As far as I know I don't need to see one to start my hrt (s-pecially if I self treat). Most of my bad experiences happened to me as a child and it has engrained distrust for them within me. I just hope my new GP is going to be understanding and get me to the right Endo to get started. My old GP who just retired was very "old school" and of no use at all. And he kept telling me I was gay which I know I am not. He had no concept of transgender or GID whatsoever.

I agree with many of you here who say that we who have been living this all of our lives know what we need to feel right both inside and outside a little better than someone who barely knows us despite his credentials (I've never had a problem with female therapists it seems).

Also the female stereotypes many of you spoke of horrify me. You mean because I own a boat and enjoy fishing I'm not a woman? -p-l-e-ase! I wish for and hope for better treatment for all of you whom have had it bad in the future, for I know how it feels to know who you are and have someone with a degree on their wall say different despite the fact I am now and have always been very femminine in both appearance and actions/attetude.