I'm at the point where I have been on HRT going on 4 months. My face is changing a little, my breasts aren't a problem, looking quite feminine. Each day I feel the estrogen surge through my veins,  I feel I'm getting bolder. I don't have many male cloths because I've been slowly paring  down since starting transition. I feel like putting the male stuff in the center of my apt. and vomiting on them. sorry for the graphics. I have to do this. I was sitting in a coffee house last night and this transgender walked by the window .I don't know her personally but I've seen her in the neighborhood for the last 5 years. She walked by the window and looked me in the eyes and there was this recognition that we were the same. She has been public for quite a while. Do others just reach that point where they just can't do the male thing any more and just kind of snap and do it.

Yes, I did.  Had it planned out for my birthday, but about a month before I couldn't wait anymore.  Typed out a letter to my cousins, got dressed and hand delivered it.  That afternoon all my clothes went into big bags to be donated to Goodwill the next day.   One of the happiest days of my life.

I feel it coming. I don't know when but someday I will transition. I am getting bolder and I want to be a woman no matter what clothes I wear. I am tired of being ashamed and feeling like I am a freak. I am Kelli and one day I will walk openly and be free! Wow that felt good never really put it   in words before thank you.

I don't know about a snap but my self acceptance as transgender was like a warm lightning bolt of certainty.  My life made sense.  It galvanized me.    i had resisted a transition in the past and this time I wasn't going to let go of myself.  I almost threw every male clothing item away.  I felt so liberated and free.  Giving up the guy has been an easy and delightful non issue for me.  I cared for him and he carried me here and now he's gone.  That is a challenge for those that do miss him.  I find my daily life flows and is free from hiding mannerisms and all the other ridiculous expectations the world and I previously entertained.  That self acceptance has still been the most profound change for me to date.

I have zero desire to pretend again.  I did experience a bit of pendulum swinging and would only dress in skirts or dresses for months.  We do know that it aint the cool clothes that make us transgender and I have been able to enjoy jeans again too.  It is between our ears where the big changes are real and affirming IMO.

It took me decades to get here and I am happy to acknowledge a better and more resourceful trans community that can now assist us when we just can't do it the old way "any more."

I went very slowly. I was on hrt until I couldn't pass as a boy if I wanted to. It was important to me that I was able to "pass" before I transitioned socially.

I think every trans person on this forum has hit a point where they must take action, even if the action is as simple as joining this community to have a support group to talk to. Then some of us reach a point where we have had it, and must come out to friends and family. Some hit their limit and say, "I can't live this way anymore! I must start HRT!". "Enough with the body/facial hair." "Only female clothing from now on! I don't care what others think! What I think truly matters!" "I have had it with my masculine face/flat chest/penis and I am going to save up and do something about it!"

Some of us get fed up with our entire past, our families, our friends, our SOs.

Some MTFs are more prone to dysphoria than others, some have more capacity to deal with dysphoric bouts than others. But every single one of us in here has hit a point where we became fed up with something, and decided to make a change. The entire process of transition is one of giving things up to make room for things that are new.

I live in this state pretty much every day. I trust my need to be female about as much as I trust my need to remain male, which is to say, I don't.

I can slowly feel my resistance dissolving day by day.
Before HRT it was I'll never be able to do this but I so need to try. Now it is 50/50 after 3 months as the E soaks through me penetrating those hard to reach places. I am sure in a few more months there will be absolutely no second thoughts about it and he will be just a distant memory. Will I reach a point that I just can't face presenting as him? Perhaps sooner than I think.
I'm still scared but I know I never want to go back.

J

"do you just get to the point and say I can't do this any more"

I have to admit, the question sounds like 'do you think you can't be TG any more?'.

But it appears you meant, is there a point where you can't deny being TG any more?

I suppose I am lucky. I realized I was not entirely male I guess like 1 and a half years ago. Then it dawned on me months later, my whole assumption I was ever male at all was flawed thinking and that came as something of an eye opening experience for me. My transition took me hours, not days weeks or months.

I made NO effort to hide this news. I couldn't care less who has a problem with my being TG. Sure I was worried about mom. wife and son and a few key friends. It's logical to worry. I was lucky they remained.

I have never been a wishy washy person when it comes to critical life choices though. It's not my way. I am not always right, but I am always confident. I suppose my level of confidence sometimes takes people off guard. I can't help that though.

Nope the ONLY think keeping me from being TG earlier n my life, was a lack of awareness earlier in my life.
The only thing that has prevented anyone in my life being fully aware that I am a woman, is not everyone reads my Facebook blatherings

As per everything else, it varies from person to person. Do what is best for you-whatever it might be. I personally jumped in pretty quickly...but there were a lot of factors at play. If your gut is telling you to take more time, follow that intuition. Let your emotions be your guide, cut yourself some slack & be patient w/ yourself. This too shall pass...it gets better!

I dunno I just constantly feel this need to present as female , like Im on a point that I just dont find any reason to continiue present as a guy , it just hurts me too much...

Id rather present as a not that beautiful girl than a wierd feminine looking guy/boy I dunno...

Getting to the point of outward transition (for want of a better term).  2014 will be a year of much change.

At the moment, it just feels right.  Skin is much softer, boobs doing well, mood much better.  Told my kids formally yesterday (17 & 18 - no great shock).  Daughter just doesn't want to have the smallest boobs in the house
However, I am taking it very slowly and want to let E do its thing since I haven't been on HRT for very long. I accept I will not be a very pretty woman, just like the millions already walking about the planet.

So, home is largely sorted for now.  Work is a different issue.  Need a lot more work on hair (head - missing most of it), wardrobe and most of all between the ears! Yay therapy

I've hit that point, but that's so many variables that I don't know ofi can just say eff it and go full time. Not on HRT, but I've been trying Oh so desperately to. Of course, that's not a requirement for being full time but whatever.

A few weeks ago I threw out 1/2 of my cloths.

I need jeans.

Quote from: EmmaD on December 27, 2013, 06:14:38 PM
Yay therapy

I second this! Thank God for therapy!

I just think after awhile its just going to snap after all the lifetime cumulation of experiences that you have to be you instead of just living in the constant fight against oneself.

Quote from: FalsePrincess on December 27, 2013, 06:10:32 PM
I dunno I just constantly feel this need to present as female , like Im on a point that I just dont find any reason to continiue present as a guy , it just hurts me too much...

Id rather present as a not that beautiful girl than a wierd feminine looking guy/boy I dunno...

I just recently had a lightning bolt epiphany. It's not like out of the blue, I was struggling with for years. I was always uncomfortable as a man but now that I'm more sure it has become unbearable. I am acting more and more feminem in life but like falseprincess i hate how people just perceive me as an effeminate male or gay (in a cis male sense)

I had not planned on going full time, but after I changed my name I went on vacation.  When I returned to work I never looked back.

That's pretty much how I began transitioning- with a sudden snap, a deliberate right-corner into my new life.

I had been at an archaeological field school over the summer, and I was very happy and in my element.  I was a bearded, Colorado mountain-man, helpful, needed, friends with everyone.  But when I got back to school, all the people I had made friends with in field school drifted rapidly away, and I couldn't keep their friendship.  After a really stressful meeting of the university's anthropology society, where these old friends didn't even want to talk to me, where I was an outsider, when I came to a number of realizations.

First, I was completely socially anonymous.  The only people who I could talk to were my sister, my dad, and one or two online friends. 
Second, I was incapable of socializing in a male paradigm, and this was causing me anguish, as I just lurked on the edges of conversation, not having the assertiveness to insert myself in except clumsily or awkwardly.

With these two combined, pondering, agonized in the middle of the night, I suddenly connected the two.  Because of my social anonymity, no one would care what I did with myself or my gender, and because of that I could become a woman and go with my true personality.  Without a second thought, I got out of bed, went to the bathroom, and shaved off my beard, which I had defended and worn so proudly, and, well, never looked back.

It may have been building up over the years, as I had been confiding with increasing frequency that I wished I was a girl.  But I never thought I had any illusions about my masculinity, until that night, when it suddenly just cracked in two, like a cinderblock to a martial-artist's forehead.

So, yeah.  I just suddenly got to the point where I said to myself, "I can't do this any more."

To a point! I used to wear business shirts to work.. like. Dress. I suppose. I've given those away. I don't want them. I stopped wearing them, seeing myself in them. I usually wear a girls hoodie, female jeans, and my shoes aren't particularly masculine.. Save for when its cold out, I'm goiing to be outside then I opt for boots...  My shoes are interestingly.. actually mens shoes, but they are such a color and design they look like girls sneakers.


I don't think it was "I can't" for me but simply "I won't."