This year has been a rollercoaster, the lows have been diabolical but the high points have been out of this world by comparison.

I started HRT after battling the NHS for almost 3 yrs, the harder & longer you have to fight for something the sweeter the victory tastes & this tastes like the nectar of the gods.

I can see early breast growth even though no-one else can really see it (I suspect they are just humouring me when they say they can see them) but who cares? For years I had to wear a bra with padding to feel slightly normal but now I don't even need to wear a bra with the knowledge that the girls are waking up.

My mum put my new name in this years birthday card (it's the only time she's used it but it's a milestone). I have the birthday card safely tucked away in my memory box 'till the end of time.

Quote from: Jayne on December 27, 2013, 09:58:49 PM
This year has been a rollercoaster, the lows have been diabolical but the high points have been out of this world by comparison.

I started HRT after battling the NHS for almost 3 yrs, the harder & longer you have to fight for something the sweeter the victory tastes & this tastes like the nectar of the gods.

I can see early breast growth even though no-one else can really see it (I suspect they are just humouring me when they say they can see them) but who cares? For years I had to wear a bra with padding to feel slightly normal but now I don't even need to wear a bra with the knowledge that the girls are waking up.

My mum put my new name in this years birthday card (it's the only time she's used it but it's a milestone). I have the birthday card safely tucked away in my memory box 'till the end of time.

Yea.  They would not understand.  But we do.  Thank you.

Hugs,

Jen

The joy in the problems that come with having breasts:  Feel the pain when they first start growing?  Hey everyone, my breasts are budding!  Whack them on a door while they're in the painful growing stage?  It's fine, because they are growing.  Roll over in bed wrong and the pain wakes you? Hey, there are breasts!  Have sweaty nipples and accidently rub them wrong?  Yes, I have nipples that sweat! Put on your first bra and it's too small?  YES!!! 

(I fear I have this strange relationship with my breasts.  But hey I HAVE BREASTS!!)

Hugs,

Jen

Quote from: JLT1 on December 27, 2013, 10:31:45 PM
The joy in the problems that come with having breasts:  Feel the pain when they first start growing?  Hey everyone, my breasts are budding!  Whack them on a door while they're in the painful growing stage?  It's fine, because they are growing.  Roll over in bed wrong and the pain wakes you? Hey, there are breasts!  Have sweaty nipples and accidently rub them wrong?  Yes, I have nipples that sweat! Put on your first bra and it's too small?  YES!!! 

(I fear I have this strange relationship with my breasts.  But hey I HAVE BREASTS!!)

Hugs,

Jen

I sure hope that isn't a strange relationship, as I have about the same one!

Oh where do I begin their is just to many of them to list here. I guess the first time I was called ma'am was a big one. But the moments I absolutely love is when I'm called she or her or ma'am when completely dressed as a guy. There is just something special about that just makes me pause and think yeah I don't really pass as a male anymore and I'm free to be myself.

Quote from: Heather on December 28, 2013, 04:18:07 PM
Oh where do I begin their is just to many of them to list here. I guess the first time I was called ma'am was a big one. But the moments I absolutely love is when I'm called she or her or ma'am when completely dressed as a guy. There is just something special about that just makes me pause and think yeah I don't really pass as a male anymore and I'm free to be myself.

Heather you have long passed being able to pass as male. 

Im new to this so going to cvs and getting my first perscription is the greatest thing. 5 days ago haha

This card, and my family telling me they'd pay my top surgery It's been a great end to a pretty crappy year.



As for other things. My first chest hair. I kept trying to make people look, but they just didn't get it

The massive, knowing grin the pharmacist gave me when filling my scrip yesterday. 

Quote from: Bethany Dawn on December 28, 2013, 04:25:51 PM
Heather you have long passed being able to pass as male. 

Lol yeah your right Bethany I have but I got to admit I kinda get a kick out of dressing in some of my old clothes just to remind myself how far I've come.

For me the day I took the first dose of E was an amazing day in my life as I took control or my life for the first time.
It was so empowering and as many know such a relief as I knew from that day the demons would be no more.
Something a Cis person will never understand.

J

Going into the bank, medicare, driving licence places and saying 'I've had a name change' and presenting as female and seeing the reaction. Never had a negative one!

Quote from: Jenny07 on December 29, 2013, 12:21:44 AM
For me the day I took the first dose of E was an amazing day in my life as I took control or my life for the first time.
It was so empowering and as many know such a relief as I knew from that day the demons would be no more.
Something a Cis person will never understand.

J

This is a big point.

How a terrible feeling like hormonal dysphoria can feel so affirming.

How dressing as myself feels right, not sexual -- early on, my wife really didn't like me folding her clothes... especially the underwear. I was like... I don't get off on it, and they wouldn't fit me anyway

Quote from: KabitTarah on December 29, 2013, 05:34:59 AM
How a terrible feeling like hormonal dysphoria can feel so affirming.

How dressing as myself feels right, not sexual -- early on, my wife really didn't like me folding her clothes... especially the underwear. I was like... I don't get off on it, and they wouldn't fit me anyway

Thank you. This is so hard to explain to people!

I'm actually having one right now!

I recently got myself a haircut. I used to have Pink's hairstyle but it was too long for me, so went and got myself a semi-short standard men's haircut and now I can't stop looking in the mirror. I love how handsome it makes me look, and I love how, according to my mom, it brings out my masculine features. My dad hates it though; he and my brother feel that women should have long hair but since I'm not a woman so... at least my mother loves it.

Looks especially good when paired with men's clothes.

My dad telling the nurse at the hospital was in that I am his older daughter and the nurse telling me that I look younger than her - The main point however is that he does now really always and without fail refer to me as his daughter, the same with my mom. It took them some years but now that is how it is and it is beautiful

I've had several encouraging moments, but honestly, I still dont see a light in this dark place I've put myself in, but I now have HOPE that I will soon.  and a lot of that hope haas come from threads like this, seeing people who where here getting out of it and being happy.  also got a "hey girl" yesterday from some random guy, followed by a rapid, embarrassed look on his face, I haven't had any hrt and wasn't dressed or acting femme, but it made me feel like something of myself was finally seen by somebody, till they saw my face at least

That first time I went out in public as myself and was actually happy about myself for the first time after 25 years of not feeling good about who I was.

I actually tried to get my sister to understand what it was like to feel the way I do but she is a relative Tom boy who just isn't able to understand what it is like to be forced into living in a rigid structure of this is how you dress, this is how you act and this is how you have to look or face ridicule and hatred. As a woman she can get away with dressing like a guy, not shaving her legs, not wearing makeup and nobody would bat an eye. But as a guy even the slightest strays away from the normal social norm and you get blasted away or at least I have all my life. I asked her to bind her chest and tuck her hair up under a hat and try to act like a guy and how would that make her feel, her answer was still like a woman because that's what I was born as  She'll never understand.

The first time I was able to look in the mirror and see me.