Quote from: Jill F on December 29, 2013, 09:03:47 PM
Thanks for the reality check.

I hope I didn't come across as antagonistic. 

Quote from: Amelia Pond on December 29, 2013, 09:00:07 PM

My thoughts exactly.....

I learned a very valuable lesson tonight, and that's to always keep my cell phone on me.

-HUGS- 

I feel like this kitten

Soft, cuddly and alone? Also very cute.

Just very lonely. I want someone very special in my life. But being trans, pre everything on top of that, makes it extremely difficult to attract potential mates.

I hear that. I'm beginning to think loneliness is my best friend. I'm older though. You are young and will find someone, just might not be time for that yet.

I look at everyone my age, even younger, like my sister, and see them involved in relationships of some sort, no matter how meaningless. Just feels like I'm missing out, like I need someone to fill a void in my heart.

Believe me, I can relate. I even tried a bad relationship to try to get past it. Big mistake, right from the start. You are loved, and the more you head into transitioning, the more you will find people who love you for the person you are and really want to be with you. It is a bit of a lonely journey but worth it in the end. Keeping yourself occupied with a hobby or work can help a lot. Video games can be all consuming and for a time get your mind off of yourself. Volunteer work keeps you occupied and bonus, lets you meet people who may feel good around you.

Quote from: Willow on December 30, 2013, 01:09:33 AM
I look at everyone my age, even younger, like my sister, and see them involved in relationships of some sort, no matter how meaningless. Just feels like I'm missing out, like I need someone to fill a void in my heart.

It will happen honey. I had given up on ever meeting a guy who wanted me for being me, and then I was invited to yet another business meeting. I got there and it was just him and I and a private table. I looked at him rather quizzically and he just said - well if I'd asked you for a date you would have refused.

Never say never

Quote from: LordKAT on December 30, 2013, 01:14:13 AM
Believe me, I can relate. I even tried a bad relationship to try to get past it. Big mistake, right from the start. You are loved, and the more you head into transitioning, the more you will find people who love you for the person you are and really want to be with you. It is a bit of a lonely journey but worth it in the end. Keeping yourself occupied with a hobby or work can help a lot. Video games can be all consuming and for a time get your mind off of yourself. Volunteer work keeps you occupied and bonus, lets you meet people who may feel good around you.

I have school to deal with. That's good and bad because I'm occupied, but never really. My mind wanders during lectures, to things relating to transition, dreams of being treated like a woman romantically and sexually. And then my grades slip, my dad gets angry, amd there goes any chance of money.

TBH a relationship would just worsen things, because pretty much the only people who really want to be with preops are ->-bleeped-<-s and would just want to touch me in areas I don't want touched.

Quote from: Cindy on December 30, 2013, 01:17:30 AM
It will happen honey. I had given up on ever meeting a guy who wanted me for being me, and then I was invited to yet another business meeting. I got there and it was just him and I and a private table. I looked at him rather quizzically and he just said - well if I'd asked you for a date you would have refused.

Never say never

I kinda just want one of those fickle teenage relationships that I never had, just so I can say I did it once. But it won't feel right.

Right now I'd do anything just to cuddle with someone on the couch.

I never had a teen relationship either. So, all I got is a furry KAT snuggle for you. You are far from alone in your feelings. Unfortunately, that doesn't make them any easier to deal with. Trans issues taking up your mindspace when you need to deal with school is hard. I never got to finish. When your mind does wander in school, tell yourself later. When you get home, take a mind wandering break before homework. Maybe that will help.

Not being able to sleep. 

Same. I think I'm developing a non-24 hour sleep pattern.

Well that sucks.  *HUG*

I guess I'm gonna go try again. See you in an hour. 

Have you tried anything to help you sleep?

Quote from: Willow on December 30, 2013, 03:05:26 AM
Have you tried anything to help you sleep?

Yesterday I tried to counter the imsonia with Lorazepam. Did not work, and I payed it the next morning with a stomach ache. So I'm doing spinning, crunches, squats... The only idea I have now is to tire the body with exercise, but this night I'm not sleeping. HRT again tomorrow!

Quote from: Willow on December 30, 2013, 03:05:26 AM
Have you tried anything to help you sleep?

Not much helps. If I can't sleep, I just can't sleep.  I did manage to fall asleep earlier though.

For sleep, try to stay away from lunesta or other narcotic sleep meds. They'll make you trip balls @-@, no seriously, it's pretty bad. Take a bunch of antihistamines like benadryll. They'll knock you out right quick, just take like 3 of them.

What made me unhappy today is noticing how fast my body hair grows back. Also how annoying my dysphoria is. I can't go into any social situation without feeling jealous of other women, and then that makes me focus on how hairy and muscular I am.

a relative was severely injured in a scooter accident this morning. We are hoping she's not going to become a paraplegic, but even more we are hoping she survives of course. I don't really know her, but she's my uncle's niece. Her mother i do know personally. This is just typical of 2013. The worst year i've ever had. I'm not going to celebrate New Year's Eve, it's going to be a low key affair, i just want some peace and quiet.

Quote from: Zóôt Al-Lúrês, the Human Flanger on December 30, 2013, 12:10:00 PM
a relative was severely injured in a scooter accident this morning. We are hoping she's not going to become a paraplegic, but even more we are hoping she survives of course. I don't really know her, but she's my uncle's niece. Her mother i do know personally. This is just typical of 2013. The worst year i've ever had. I'm not going to celebrate New Year's Eve, it's going to be a low key affair, i just want some peace and quiet.

Sorry to hear that hon. Thinking of your family.